


The Dark Side of Me

by thewolfatmydoor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Castiel, POV Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, This is going to be really long, bisexual dean winchester but he doesnt know it yet, it might take me forever to finish it, it takes him a long time to realise, really slow burn, strangers to best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-10-09 10:50:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 51,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17405540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolfatmydoor/pseuds/thewolfatmydoor
Summary: Castiel Novak, along with his siblings Gabe and Anna, have recently moved to Dean's home town and it has blown Dean's world wide open.How will Dean come to terms with the burgeoning feelings that Castiel has awoken in him? Will Castiel be able to stop the attraction he feels towards Dean ruining what is an amazing friendship, or will he take a chance on it becoming something more?This story will follow the lives of our two favourite dumb asses as they traverse their blossoming relationship over the years of high school, and college, and on into adulthood. There is going to be angst, and lots of it, will they eventually be able to find their way back to each other or will their stubbornness keep them from realising what they mean to each other?





	1. It's got something to do with you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hatsonhamburgers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatsonhamburgers/gifts), [BabysNotaProp (SuzetteB)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzetteB/gifts).



> This is my first fic so please be gentle :)  
> I will add tags as I go. There will be cursing in this right from the start. There is mature content right from the start too so please be aware of that.  
> I am dedicating this to Hatsonhamburgers and BabysNotaProp for being so amazing and encouraging.
> 
> The ******* break up the POV's between Dean and Cas.

**It’s got something to do with you.**  
  
It was the end of summer and Dean Winchester was preparing for the start of school, it wasn’t that he was eager to get back to school, he had just had his fill of his dad this past summer.  
John Winchester was not an easy man to get along with, and the older Dean got, the harder it became.  
  
Dean tried to stay on his good side when John deemed it necessary to return home from god knows where, which thankfully wasn’t all that often these days, but his dad had a quick temper easily fueled by alcohol and Dean was usually on the receiving end of it.  
Dean would always put on a brave face and take whatever abuse was thrown his way, he would rather take it than risk Johns wrath being turned onto his younger brother Sam. He would do anything to keep Sam safe, even if it meant taking a beating when his father turned up drunk. So yes, he was looking forward to school starting again.  
  
Dean had a gut feeling that this year was going to be a good one, no matter how bad his home life could get. He had turned 16 at the start of the year, and had in an uncharacteristic display of fatherly love been gifted his dad’s ’67 Chevy Impala in the last weeks of summer. She was a beautiful car, Dean affectionately called her Baby, and he cared for her almost as much as he cared for Sam. She was his pride and joy and he couldn’t wait to show her off to all of his friends once school started.  
  
On the first day of school, he was woken by Sam roughly shaking his shoulders, “Come on Dean, it’s time to get up, I don’t wanna be late.”  
“Damn it Sammy, don’t get your panties in a twist” Dean growled through a yawn.  
Sam threw a brilliantly perfected bitch face at Dean and exclaimed, “It’s Sam!” before he turned and stalked out of his brother’s room.  
  
Dean struggled to get out of bed, he headed to the bathroom bleary eyed, brushed his teeth, then turned the shower on and once it had warmed up enough he stepped under the running water letting it wash away the remainder of sleep.  
   
_What on earth was Sammy doing up so damn early anyway? The guy is such a nerd!_ Dean thought to himself as he dried off, his annoyance didn’t last long though. He was so proud of Sammy, he should have been starting 7th grade today, but after some negotiations with his school he had been skipped ahead a grade and would be starting his final year at his middle school, the kid was gonna go places, Dean was sure of that.  
  
He got downstairs to find Sam sitting at the kitchen table with his head in some book, his breakfast almost forgotten next to him. Dean ruffled his hair as he walked past him to grab a coffee. _Gonna have to take him for a haircut soon, damn Disney Princess hair.  
_Dean chuckled as Sam huffed at him. He knows he drives him mad but he won’t be able to do this for much longer, eventually Sam will spread his wings and go off on his own adventures, the thought brought a sad smile to Dean’s face. He is going to miss his brother when the time comes.  
He grabbed a slice of toast and with his mouth full said, “Come on then Sammy, let’s get going, wouldn’t want you to be late or anything.”  
“DEAN!! It’s Sam, and don’t speak with your mouth full, it’s gross.”  
Dean just gave him his biggest shit eating grin and walked out into the morning sunshine.  
  
The ride to Sam’s school was filled with his excited chatter and Dean couldn’t help the smile that was on his face. _Yes, this is going to be a good year,_ he thought as they pulled up outside the school, Sam jumped out of the car and stuck his head back in to quickly say “See you later Dean. Have a good day.”  
“You too Sammy” Dean replied with a cheeky grin.  
Sam rolled his eyes at him before closing the door and running off to find Kevin and Jess, his two best friends.  
  
Dean drove the couple of blocks to his school and pulled into the parking lot. He looked around and spotted Charlies AMC Gremlin X so he pulled in next to her. Thankfully he was in the last spot of the row, at least nobody would be able to damage Baby. Seeing Dean Charlie stepped out of her car and barely let him get out of his before she had jumped into his arms, her red hair waving wildly around her head. He laughed delightedly and spun her around, “Damn Charlie, it is good to see you. How have you been?”  
  
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as he let her down, making him blush, at seeing that she punched him gently on his arm, and ribbed him, “You know I don’t swing that way Winchester, stop getting ideas!” He smiled fondly at her, he had missed his friend more than he had realised, she was like a ray of sunshine all the time.  
“Ah Charlie, you break my heart you know that right?!”  
She giggled at him before answering his earlier question, “I have been really good Dean, it was an amazing summer in Europe, although I have to say I did miss your wit”, she winked at him then and he barked out a laugh before pulling her in for another hug, “I see yours was good too” she gestured towards his car. He smiled widely and remarked that it could have been worse.  
  
They made their way inside and headed to their lockers, seeing Benny leaning against them, Charlie ran towards him and he mirrored Deans actions from earlier, picking her up and spinning her around, once he had placed her back on solid ground he greeted Dean, “Good to see you brother”, he said clapping him on the back.  
“Good to see you too Benny, how have you been man?”  
“Ah ya know, I spent most of my summer in my ma’s restaurant, but it was good. I met someone.”  
Charlie squealed, “You sly dog Benny! Who is she? Does she go to school here? When do we get to meet her?”  
Benny's laughter rumbled through him, “Her name is Andrea. She doesn’t go here, and if you behave then I will bring her to the roadhouse when we next go there.”  
Charlie seemed satisfied with that and Dean just chuckled at the exchange, “I am happy for you man.”  
  
Before any of them could say anything else Meg and Lisa sidled up to them, “So have you guys heard that we have some new meat suits joining us this year?” Lisa crowed delightedly.  
She was hot in that typical Cheerleader type of way Dean thought, maybe this would be their year. His train of thought was interrupted by Meg saying, “Well speak of the devils; or maybe I should say angels, just look at that eye candy”.  
The four of them turned to where Meg was pointing. Dean took in the scene before him. There was a pretty girl with red hair maybe a shade or two darker than Charlies; a shorter guy with deep golden brown hair who looked like trouble; and a taller guy with a shock of dark hair that stuck up every which way possible.  
  
The taller guy looked up almost as though he sensed someone watching him and turned his head towards their group, his eyes landed on Dean and it was all Dean could do to stop himself from choking. He had got piercing, strikingly blue eyes, and as Dean took in the rest of the guys face he realised that he was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.  
_Shit dude, get a grip of yourself, you don’t like guys.  
_He couldn’t tear his eyes away from him and it was only when Benny nudged him that he was able to break eye contact.  
He looked up at Benny dumbfounded, Benny simply grinned at him knowingly before inclining his head towards Lisa, who had apparently been talking to Dean the whole time.  
“Sorry Lisa, what did you say?” he said sheepishly.  
“God Dean, I was asking if you were going for Captain of the football team this year, I just know I am going to make Head Cheerleader and you know what that means” she suggestively fluttered her eyelashes at him but he didn’t really notice, his thoughts were elsewhere.  
“Uh yeh, sure Lisa, whatever” his attention focused back on the trio of new students.  
  
All of a sudden the shorter guy shouted out “Mikey, hey!”, Dean forced his eyes away from the dark haired guy to look in the direction they were walking. He saw Michael, one of his football teammates, walking with a confident swagger towards the new kids. He couldn’t hear their exchange but from the way Michael pulled the girl in for a hug, and clapped the two guys on the back, Dean deduced that they must know each other.  
   
Lisa called out Michael’s name. He looked over to her and noticed everyone standing there staring at him, he said something to the trio and gestured over at them all before walking towards the gang.  
“So are you gonna introduce us to these delightful angels Mikey?” Megs voice made Dean shudder, he wished she would stop calling them angels, that was not the image he needed rolling around in his head.  
Michael’s laugh was friendly as he turned towards the newcomers, “These are my cousins, Anna, and Gabriel” he gestured towards the shorter of the two guys.  
Gabriel interjected with a statement that reminded Dean so much of Sammy he couldn’t help but grin, “That’s Gabe, Mikey you know that.”  
Michael sighed before continuing, “And this guy with the uncontrollable sex hair is Castiel.”  
Dean couldn’t hold the choking sound back any longer, as if Meg wasn’t bad enough with the angels comments Michael had to go and pull that kind of shit, and now Dean couldn’t focus on anything but the thought of how Cas could have gotten sex hair. Benny clapped him on the back and both Lisa and Castiel give him what could only be described as a Sammy bitchface.  
  
Michael then introduced the gang to his cousins, Dean didn’t hear any of it though, there was a low rumble resounding through his head and he was sure he was blushing furiously. He couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from Cas’ face.  
_Seriously Dean, what is with you this morning, already giving the guy a nickname he obviously hasn’t asked for and the staring, man you gotta stop the staring, it is creepy._  
He was thankfully saved from any more embarrassment when the first bell rang and he excused himself to head to class, almost running once he was out of sight. He was grateful that he didn’t have to see any of his friends until lunch. He didn’t think he could handle any of them right now. He just needed a couple of hours to get back out of his head.  
  
His peace didn’t last long though.  
  
“Hey Deano” he heard as someone slid into the seat next to him, he looked up and groaned internally when he saw the smiling face of Gabe looking back at him.  
_Damn this is going to be a long fucking year_ he thought.  
Gabe held his hand out to Dean and Dean begrudgingly took a hold of it and gave it a quick shake.  
  
Their teacher arrived and Dean sighed gratefully. When she had finally managed to settle the class, there was always noisy distracted chatter on the first day back and even more so today due to the new students, she announced that they have a new student joining their class and invited Gabe to the front to introduce himself.  
Gabe practically bounced to the front of the room and Dean wondered how anyone could have such energy this early in the morning, he thought that if Sammy were a couple of years older that he would get on with this guy like crazy.  
  
“Hi everyone, I am Gabriel, Gabe to my friends, Novak. I moved here with my brother and sister over summer break, my father travels a lot for work and wanted us to be close to family whilst he is on the road so here we are. I enjoy all the usual stuff, music, chilling with my good friend Netflix, and the occasional baked goods” as he mentioned the baked goods he gave an exaggerated wiggle of his eyebrows and Dean along with a couple of other students snorted with laughter having realised that Gabe’s baked goods were most likely of the adult variety.  
   
_Maybe this year won’t be so bad after all._  
  
His first period flew by reasonably quickly. He made small talk with Gabe, or small whispers at least, after the first few times they got shouted at for talking in class.  
He found out that yes Gabe’s baked goods are of the adult persuasion, but that he also just likes to bake so of course Dean asked about pie, because pie is pretty much his favourite food. By the end of his first period Dean has managed to get a promise from Gabe that he will bring an apple pie in for him the following Monday.  
He also found out that their Dad was the famous author Chuck Shurley, this confused Dean due to their last names being different but he shrugged it off assuming that all would be revealed eventually. Gabe reassured Dean that he was famous, Dean hadn’t heard of him but he promised that in exchange for the pie he would pick up a couple of his books.  
After first period they parted ways, both heading off to different lessons but Dean assured Gabe that he and his friends would save them all a spot at lunch.  
  
The rest of Deans morning went by uneventfully, although he found that with no other distractions his mind wandered back to vibrant blue eyes quite regularly. Maybe if he got to know the guy he would get over whatever this ridiculous attraction to him was.  
  
As he headed towards lunch he didn’t even hear Charlie shouting him from down the hall, she ran to catch him up and he almost screamed in fright when she grabbed his arm trying to get him to pay attention.  
“Jesus Charles, you scared the life outta me” he said breathlessly, doubling over.  
“Seriously Deanna”, she laughed giving him an exaggerated eye roll, “I was practically shouting your name, where were you?”  
“You were? Sorry Charlie, I dunno, I guess I was off in my own world.”  
She snorted at him, but it was friendly, “No shit Dean, is everything ok?”  
“Yeh course it is, come on, let’s get to lunch” he swung his arm around her shoulder.  
“Alright, but you will tell me if something is wrong won’t you?” she looked at him, concern showing on her face, she knows he has a tough home life and that he is super good at keeping his worries bottled up.  
“You got it kiddo” Dean replied with a smile.  
Charlie knew she wouldn’t get anything else out of him for now so she dropped it.  
  
When they reached the cafeteria Dean looked around to try and spot his friends, he saw Benny sitting with Meg and Gabe but he couldn’t see any of his other friends so he and Charlie headed to the lunch queue to grab some food. When they got to the table there were two chairs remaining, one next to Lisa, and one next to Cas, before Dean could even make a move to sit down Charlie had plopped herself into the chair next to Lisa. Lisa glared at Charlie but Charlie pretended not to notice as she dove right into the conversation everyone was having.  
  
Dean took a second to gather his wits before seating himself next to Cas. He started pushing his food around the tray, not sure whether he had an appetite anymore or not, he could feel Cas’ presence next to him and it was so distracting that all the thoughts he had had about getting to know Cas and work through these weird feelings went flying out the window. He decided to focus on just eating his food without choking, yes that was something he could do, he had no idea what they were all talking about anyway; that low rumble was back in his head again.  
  
He was broken out of his reverie by a sudden, larger than life, laugh from his left. He looked over at Cas who was smiling so widely it made Deans skin tingle and he couldn’t help the smile from spreading to his own face. Cas was looking at him pointedly and Dean started to frown. Cas inclined his head towards the rest of the table, his laugh having settled into a slight chuckle, and the sound from everybody else at the table rushed back into Dean.  
  
“ean… earth to Dean, come in Dean” he heard Jo saying. He looked round to see everyone staring at him. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he sucked in a sharp breath at the electricity that shot through him.  
“Are you ok?” a low, gravelly voice asked.  
Dean turned slowly back to Cas as the hand was removed from his shoulder. When he looked in Cas’ eyes he was positive he saw a flicker of something there, maybe Cas had felt the spark too, but it was gone before Dean could be sure.  
Cas repeated his question and Dean managed to choke out an “um, yeh, thanks?”, before he heard Jo speaking to him again.  
“DEAN, dude what has gotten into you? We were just saying that we should all go to the mall and then hit up my Ma’s for food at the weekend. You in?”  
“Um, all?”  
“Yes Dean, ALL. We thought we could show these guys round a bit and then go for food at the Roadhouse as it has the best burgers” she sighed at him, “you can invite Sam if you want to”.  
“Ok, yes, that sounds great” he hoped his nervousness didn’t show through in his voice.  
  
The remainder of lunch went without a hitch. He tried to keep track of the conversations going on around the table, mostly so he could be aware if any of them spoke to him again but thankfully they all left him to his own thoughts.  
He occasionally heard Cas’ voice drifting through the conversation when someone asked him a question, but he didn’t pay attention to what was said, the timbre of Cas’ voice was too distracting.  
He felt pretty sure that Cas’ eyes landed on him a few more times through lunch, but he didn’t look up to see for definite. He didn’t even realise when everyone got up to head back to classes until he felt a hand squeeze his knee slightly.  
He spun around to see Charlie looking at him, “It’s time for class Dean” he nodded at her and followed her as they dropped their trays off before walking through the halls to their next class.  
He was grateful she was in his next two classes, he knew that she would keep him on track. Charlie knows him better than pretty much anyone except for maybe Sammy.  
He feels reasonably ok letting his guard down with her, so when she asked him if he was ok he told her that he was feeling all sorts of weird but that he was sure it would pass. She didn’t probe for details but just made sure that he knew if he needed her then she was there for him.  
He gave her a quick hug before they settled into their seats.  
The next two classes went by easily, he was able to focus on the subject matter with Charlie next to him and he found that he didn’t think about Cas’ face very much at all.  
  
The final class of the day was sent from hell, he was sure about that, not only was he running a little late but when he got there he found there was only one seat remaining. He had slid into it quickly and reached out to tap the guy next to him on the shoulder to make sure he was paying attention before their teacher noticed that he was slumped across his desk with his head resting on his arms.  
When his fingers found contact though he felt the same electricity course through him that he had felt when Cas’ hand had touched his shoulder at lunch.  
_What on earth is happening to me today?_  
The other guy flinched slightly and Dean rapidly pulled his hand back, he looked down at his fingers which were thankfully not on fire even if they felt like they were. When he looked back up he had found himself looking straight at Cas.  
_So that’s what’s happening to me today, figures it would be Cas_ he thought.  
  
“Hello Dean” Cas’ voice sent a shiver through Dean.  
“Uh, hey Cas, um Castiel” Dean looked down at his fingers again, “Sorry” he said looking back up at Cas.  
Cas grinned at Dean and it just about made Dean dissolve into a puddle when he said “Cas is fine Dean, I realise my name can be a bit of a mouthful. Besides, I quite like it nobody has given me a nickname I actually like before”.  
“Awesome, that’s awesome man” Dean smiled back at Cas feeling a bit more relaxed.  
  
They didn’t speak much during the rest of the class but Dean kept sneaking glances at Cas. When he finally managed to drag his eyes away from Cas’ face he noticed the strong set of Cas’ shoulders and his white button down shirt that clung to firm biceps. He followed the line of his arm down to his hand. He watched Cas’ fingers drum out a tune on his desk as he wrote in his notebook. At that moment Cas looked up and his face broke out into another smile as he saw Dean studying him, he tilted his head to the side and Dean cleared his throat before throwing a noncommittal shrug out there. Cas simply nodded at Dean and went back to his work. Dean attempted to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing but he couldn’t focus his thoughts and was relieved when the bell signalling the end of the day finally rang.  
  
He grabbed his things together and stood up, not sure whether he should hang around and wait for Cas or not. Cas decided for him when he said “See you tomorrow Dean”.  
“Oh, yeh sure man” Dean was definitely not disappointed by that. Not one little bit. Nuh-uh.  
“I just have to stay and check on some things with the teacher” Cas reassured him.  
“Ok, that’s cool. Well see you tomorrow then Cas. Have a great night”  
“You too Dean. Goodbye”.  
Dean walked out of class and headed to his locker breathing a little freer. That had sure been an unexpected day. All he wanted to do was head to pick Sammy up and grab some pizza before going home and crashing for the night. He would deal with everything that had happened during the day when he had some time alone later.  
  
*******  
  
Cas sat at his desk and watched Dean leave at the end of the day. He had reassured Dean that he had to stay behind to talk to their teacher, thankfully Dean had seemed to buy into the little white lie. Truth was Cas’ insides were turbulent and he was worried that if he had left class with Dean he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from doing something monumentally stupid. He didn’t even know the guy, they probably hadn’t managed a hundred words between them he thought.  
_Come on Cas_ he smiled to himself at the memory of Dean giving him a nickname he liked,  _Now is not the time for crushes on anyone, let alone a person you have just met._  
  
Cas gathered his books together and headed out to his locker. When he reached them he was surprised to see both Gabe and Anna waiting for him. He smiled at them both as he got his bag out and dumped his books in it.  
“Soooo Cassie, how was your first day?” Gabe asked.  
Cas turned to look at him to see if he was being genuine and as it looked like he was he replied with a sigh “It was fine thanks Gabe. Yours?”  
“Oh you know, the usual, got into trouble for talking through class” he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
Cas huffed out a laugh.  
“Yeh I was having a nice chat with Deano”  
_Come on Cas, I know you can feign nonchalance, no point in giving Gabe any ammunition. At least not on your first day.  
_“That’s nice Gabe. Just try not to get others into trouble ok!”  
“Aww come on Cassie, I bet you are dying to know all about him, he seems like he would be just your type”  
“Really Gabe, I am not interested. It has been a long day and I am sure I’m not the only one who is ready to get home, right Anna?” Cas implored his sister.  
Anna shrugged but smiled at Cas, “Yep I’m ready to get home. Can we order Chinese tonight please?”  
“Sure Anna, let’s get going” Cas said as he closed his locker a bit more forcefully than he intended. He heard Gabe snort behind him as he slung his arm round his sister’s shoulder and walked down the hallway. Gabe let the conversation drop as he had to run to catch up with them. Cas knew this wouldn’t be the last he heard of it but at least for today he could relax. He loved his brother but sometimes he could be like a dog with a bone.  
  
Cas headed straight to the bathroom to shower when they arrived home. He left Gabe and Anna to order the food. He turned the water on to heat up a little and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He looked a little tired. Today had been a curve-ball he hadn’t been expecting; Dean Winchester had been a curve-ball he hadn’t expected.  
  
Cas climbed into the shower and thought back on the day. He had felt eyes on him as he walked with his brother and sister through the halls of their new school. That was nothing unusual in itself, it kind of came with the territory of being the new kid having people looking at you, but this was something more. He hadn’t understand why it felt so different to just being looked at like you were a curiosity, they had moved schools enough times for him to know how that felt. It had felt like someone’s eyes were boring into his core, so he had done the only reasonable thing he could think of, he had looked up. His eyes had landed on a group of students who were all looking towards them, none of them really stood out but then he had seen him and he knew he was a goner. Who this mystery person was Cas had had no idea, but his mouth had gone dry, his heart rate had spiked, his stomach had fallen through the floor. He hadn’t been prepared for it. He had found himself unable to tear his eyes away from the stranger, thankfully one of the guys friends had nudged him. This had made the boy break eye contact to turn towards his friend, thus it broke the spell between them and Cas had found he could breathe again.  
  
  
As the hot water from the shower started to unwind his tense muscles he began to feel better, less like the butterflies in his stomach were going to spontaneously burst out at any second, and by the time he was out of the shower and dried off he felt like himself again. He headed down the stairs and heard Gabe shout that there was food in the kitchen for him. He grabbed the takeout container and poured himself a glass of juice before he went to the living room and flopped down on the couch. His mind once again drifted back to how the day had gone as he started to eat.  
  
  
He had heard his brother call out to their cousin Michael, good this was something he could cope with, he liked his cousin and they hadn’t seen each other in a few years. After an all too brief catch up one of the girls from the group of students had shouted out to Michael and he took the three of them over to introduce them to the people who were obviously friends of his.  
  
Gabe interrupted Michaels introductions as Cas had expected him to. He smiled fondly thinking that his brother was a dork.  
When Michael introduced Cas though he just wanted the world to open up and swallow him down. Why oh why had Michael introduced him by commenting on his hair and calling it “sex hair”. To make matters worse the guy he still didn’t know but wanted to know in oh so many ways practically choked at what Michael had said. Cas couldn’t help but stare at the guy. Could this day get any worse? Cas was pretty damn sure it couldn’t.  
He vaguely heard Michael introduce his friends, but his embarrassment was drowning it out and it didn’t help that the guy couldn’t seem to stop looking at Cas. His hearing came back into focus when Michael pointed at the guy and said “and this idiot who can’t breathe without choking is Dean Winchester”, so now he had a name to go with the most beautiful face he had ever seen.  
Thankfully the bell for class rang and he heard Dean excuse himself. He watched as Dean walked away, barely making it to the next corner before breaking out into a run, Cas hoped he was ok, none of that seemed like normal behaviour.  
  
Everybody broke apart to head to their respective classes and he found himself walking in the same direction as the bouncy redhead. If only he had been listening when Michael had introduced them. He was saved from having to ask her name when she stuck her hand out to him and said “Hey, the names Charlie, it’s Castiel right? Are you headed towards Ms.Barnes for English?”.  
Cas smiled at her, he grasped her hand “Yeh that’s right on both counts Charlie, it is nice to meet you!”  
Charlie was practically beaming by this point “Aww thanks Castiel, you too”  
“So, you are Michael's cousins then? How come we haven’t seen you before? Have you only just moved here?”  
“Woah Charlie, slow down, take a breath” Cas said laughing, “Yes we are Michael's cousins, our fathers are brothers. Well you haven’t seen us before because yes we have only just moved here. My dad is an author and...”  
“An author? What has he written?” Charlie interrupted.  
“Uh well he has written quite a lot but he is probably most well-known for the Supernatural series”  
The squeal that elicited from Charlie actually made Cas jump “Are you serious right now dude? Are you telling me your dad is Chuck Shurley? But, but aren’t you all Novaks?”  
“Uh yeh, all of that is correct Charlie, I take it you have heard of him then? Shurley is his pen name, it was my grandmothers maiden name.”  
“Wow, that is so cool Cas. I think we just became best friends!”  
Cas smiled so widely at that “I think I would like that Charlie”.  
“So you were telling me about moving here before I so rudely interrupted you”  
“Ah yes, well my dad travels for work a lot, conventions and book tours, that kind of thing and well my mother isn’t really in the picture that much anymore so we would travel with him but now that both Gabe and I are older he felt it would be best for him to set down some roots for us so we could finish our schooling in some kind of comfort and security I guess. Being here means we are close to family in case anything happens because he is still going to be away travelling for most of the year.”  
“That’s awesome Cas, well not the part where both your parents are kind of absent, but hey at least your dad cares about your future right? And if you hadn’t settled here then you wouldn’t have met me and that would have been a travesty of epic proportions”  
“My Queen, it surely would have been a tragedy”  
Charlie gave him a playful shove towards their class “I am so glad we met Cas”  
He dropped his voice to whisper “Me too Charlie. Will you sit with me please?”  
“You’ve got it Cas, can’t get rid of me now”  
They made their way to two empty desks next to each other and settled in for the start of their first day as friends.  
  
Cas was truly happy to have met Charlie, she seemed like such a great girl. He only hoped everybody else would be as friendly. He had thought about asking her about Dean but he didn’t really know how to ask without it seeming creepy, so he didn’t. Maybe he would one day, but his first day there would not be that day.  
  
He ended up sharing his whole morning with Charlie which was really wonderful. In his second class he met Benny who was a giant bear of a guy but incredibly friendly, and then in his third class he met Meg who flirted with him mercilessly until Charlie pointedly asked Cas if he was going to tell Meg or should she.  
This lead to a lot of stumbling over words until Meg caught on and laughed at him, not unkindly, she said that Charlies gaydar had never failed and that she was sorry she had flirted so much.  
He reassured her it was fine and that he was actually pretty flattered as nobody had ever flirted with him before. This made Charlie squawk and Meg just looked utterly shocked. He glanced between them both unable to figure out what was going on until Charlie had finally said “You have to be joking right Cas? I mean has everyone you have ever met been blind because damn man you are one good looking guy, with that face, and that hair, and those thighs, and god damn those baby blues. I think I might be hot for you, and I don’t swing that way at all!”  
Completely unable to hide the blush that spread over his cheeks he sat there with his mouth hanging open and was finally able to stutter out a “Bu but what? No. No no no”  
Meg chuckled “She is right Clarence, you are a freaking angel and the guy you end up with is gonna be so damn lucky!”  
He couldn’t even stammer out a response to that. He had never been complimented in his life, ridiculed yes, but not complimented and he just didn’t know how to accept it gracefully so he clammed up. Charlie eventually pulled him into a side hug and kissed his cheek which made him laugh and utter a very quiet “well thanks I guess” to the both of them.  
He managed to get through the rest of the morning without much more embarrassment and was happy to find he had actually made some friends. All in all it had been a good morning for Cas.  
  
After class Charlie had said she would go and find Dean and then meet them all at the cafeteria so he headed off with Meg and Benny. Once there Meg and Benny peeled off to find a table for them all to sit at and Cas got into the queue to grab some food. After he acquired something to eat he started to look round for their table. Meg waved to him so he wandered over to them, she had saved the seat next to her for him and as he settled down two more people arrived at the table with his sister Anna in tow. Benny introduced them again.  
_Damn it Castiel you need to pay more attention instead of letting your mind run off without you._  
When Benny introduced Jo she stuck her hand out to him and he gladly shook it, Lisa was next to be introduced and he instantly took a dislike to her as she said, with a haughty air that reminded him of his mother “Charmed I am sure”.  
_It’s fine Castiel, she isn’t your mother, and you don’t have to get along with everybody you meet_ he mused to himself.  
  
He had almost forgotten that Charlie hadn’t arrived yet until she plopped herself down in the seat next to Lisa, which, _Oh God,_ left one seat available for Dean, the one next to him. Cas couldn’t help but notice the glare that Lisa shot at Charlie and he had to stifle a grin as Charlie totally ignored her. Dean eventually sat down and Cas found he had been involuntarily holding his breath when it came out shakier than he expected. Thankfully nobody else seemed to have noticed. He breathed in slowly and steadily and realised he could smell Dean. It had almost been so distracting that he very nearly missed what Jo said when she spoke to him. She had said how she thought it would be a good idea for them all to go out at the weekend so they could show Cas, Gabe, and Anna around town. Then they could head to her ma’s restaurant for food. Cas had liked the sound of that and was happy to find his siblings were in agreement with him.  
  
He noticed that Dean hadn’t said anything yet and had just been pushing his food around his tray. As Jo practically shouted trying to get Deans attention to confirm that he was ok for the weekend Cas couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him. It caused Dean to look at him and oh dear god he was even more beautiful than Cas had originally thought. His eyes were the first thing that Cas had noticed, they were such a vibrant green, like the first buds in spring, flecked with gold and he was sure he could stare into them forever and never find himself getting bored.  
As Deans face started to crinkle up with a smile to mirror Cas’ own he noticed the freckles that dusted across his nose and over his cheeks, and then his dimples, and then his lips, so full and kissable it made Cas’ mouth go dry. Before he could do anything he would regret he tilted his head towards the rest of the table successfully diverting Dean’s attention away from him. He watched as Dean looked around at everyone and he couldn’t help but put his hand on the guys shoulder. When his hand touched Dean he felt a shock go through him and heard Dean suck in a breath.  
_Shit what the hell was that?  
_He asked Dean if he was ok and as Dean turned to look at him he slowly removed his hand and did his very best to school his features before Dean could see how much that had affected him. He had to repeat his question because Dean was just staring at him and Cas was one hundred percent sure that if he didn’t say something he was just going to lean across and kiss him and that would not be a wise thing to do. It seemed to break the spell and Dean managed to choke out a response before turning his attention back to the table as Jo started speaking to him again.  
_Breathe Castiel, you are fine, just concentrate on everyone else and you can get through lunch unscathed.  
_He spent the rest of his lunch listening to everyone chatting and occasionally speaking when someone asked him something. He tried not to look at Dean but couldn’t help glancing at him once in a while, once again he found himself wondering if he was ok, from everyone else’s reactions this really wasn’t normal behaviour for Dean, but he doesn’t know him so he wasn’t going to pry.  
  
Lunch was over soon enough and he got up with everyone else, Dean didn’t seem to notice and he shot a worried glance at Charlie but she mouthed that she would sort it and that she would see Cas tomorrow. He headed off to his next class and tried to put Dean to the back of his mind, for a while at least. He got through his next two classes without a second thought but by the time he got to his final class of the day he was worn out. He laid his head on his arms and waited for the teacher to show up. Suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched as electricity coursed through his body. When he looked up he was faced with Dean, who was thankfully looking at his own hand rather than at Cas, giving Cas a second to compose himself.  
When Dean looked up at him he saw a gamut of emotions run across his face, not sure how to process that Cas just said “Hello Dean”.  
A grin broke out on his face when Dean responded by calling him Cas, and then looking flustered and apologising. Cas had never had a nickname that he honestly liked before and he was quick to reassure Dean that it was fine that he gave him a nickname, he was happy to see Dean smile at that.  
  
Throughout class he could feel Deans gaze on him. He did his best to not look up but it became so intense that he couldn’t help chancing a glance at Dean. Tilting his head he sent out a question to Dean hoping it translated well, Dean shrugged at him so Cas just nodded and focused back on his work. He was relieved when the bell finally rang for the end of the day, he was ready to head home and relax. It had been a very interesting day.  
  
“Cassie?? Come back to us Cassie?” Gabes voice broke through his reverie.  
“Hmm? What’s up Gabe?”  
“I was just asking if you wanted any more food?”  
“No, I am ok thanks. You and Anna finish it if you want. I think I am going to head to bed, I am beat”.  
  
Anna looked at him shocked, “You feeling ok bro? I have never seen you pass up Chinese before, even when half asleep”.  
“Yeh I am good Anna, just tired after a long day. I will see you both in the morning”.  
“Ok Castiel, night.”  
  
Cas shouted goodnight to Gabe as he walked past the kitchen, he received a muffled reply, taking the stairs two at a time he closed his bedroom door behind him before he collapsed onto his bed. He laid awake for a while thinking about brilliantly green eyes before he finally drifted into a dreamless sleep.  
  
*******  
  
After the unexpectedness of his first day back Dean had spent the rest of the week trying to work out if he should attempt to get to know Cas, or whether it would be better to not know him. He would still find his mind wandering off whenever he was in close proximity to him and he was having a considerable amount of trouble wrapping his head around the butterflies that were constantly assaulting his stomach in Cas’ presence.  
He tried his best to be friendly to the newcomers but he knew he was coming across as standoffish and brusque, Charlie had even pulled him up on it half way through the week.  
“Dean, what is going on with you? Is everything ok at home?”  
“What do you mean Charlie? Everything at home is fine, I am fine”  
“Uh Dean, no you are not, you are so closed off to the point of being down right rude at times. Is your dad being an ass again?”  
“Charlie, dad hasn’t been home for days. He went off on a job midday on Monday and we haven’t heard from him since”  
“So is that what’s bothering you then? Because you are not yourself this week”  
“Damnit Charlie, you know life is much easier when dad isn’t around. There is nothing wrong with me. Please just drop it wouldya”  
She shrugged at him, she knew she wouldn’t be able to get it out of him if he didn’t want to share.  
“Sure Dean. Just, look, I am here if you need me ok”  
“Thanks Charles, I am fine though, I promise”  
  
For the rest of the week he made more of an effort to be his usual self, and it must have worked a little because Charlie didn’t ask him about it again.  
  
In the classes he shared with Gabe he found that even though he seemed a little wild and roguish he was actually a decent guy and he enjoyed getting to know him. He found that with him being the eldest sibling, even though there was a much smaller age gap between Gabe and Cas than there was between Sammy and himself, he had a protective streak very similar to Deans and Dean found it easy to talk with Gabe about having absent parents and how much pressure that had placed on them both. It was a nice feeling to know that somebody finally understood him.  
He asked Gabe about how Anna was settling in as she was in the year below them so he didn’t really know her, Gabe told him she seemed to be enjoying herself and that she had actually made friends with Jo even though they seemed like very different people, he also revealed that she had a secret crush on someone but that Gabe was yet to figure out who the person was. Dean had a feeling that Gabe would annoy Anna enough that she would give up the info before too long.  
He was glad that Gabe didn’t know him well enough to figure out that he had a crush on someone. It was bad enough having Charlie on his back, and Sam saying he was acting weird, and he felt sure Benny knew something from the looks his friend had been giving him. Yes he was very glad that Gabe didn’t know him that well.  
_Wait! What? Did I just think crush? Damn it. I do not have a crush on anyone, not no way, not no how!  
_He didn’t ask about Cas, and he was glad that Gabe didn’t bring him up, even after Dean had asked about Anna.  
_I guess he just thinks I must talk to Cas in the classes we share_ Dean thought.  
He would probably have stumbled over his words or some stupid shit like that if Gabe had brought him up and then god knows what would have happened. He was sure Gabe would rib him mercilessly and he could probably handle that, but what if he said something to Cas. Dean was not ready for that, not when he still didn’t understand what was going on in his own head. So he didn’t ask about him, it was safer that way.  
  
He did try to chat to Cas after Charlie had pulled him up on being rude, but Dean quickly learned that Cas was pretty studious and not quite so open to talking during class as Gabe was. He found that pretty endearing and he had caught himself watching Cas more often than not. Every time Cas saw him watching him he would smile and tilt his head questioningly at Dean and that would just make those butterflies even more erratic, never failing to bring a slight blush to Deans cheeks. He was going to have to find some way of getting to know Cas better and become friends with him, he just didn’t know how yet.    
  
*******  
  
Cas had to admit he was thoroughly enjoying his first week at his new school. Everyone he had met so far, with the exception of Lisa, was really nice. He had found that he enjoyed Charlies company immensely, she was such a character, so bubbly and full of life. He didn’t think he had ever met anyone like her before and he knew that this was a friendship that could pass the test of time. He also enjoyed Megs company, she was very different to Charlie, her wit seemed to be based more on sarcasm than the love for life that Charlie had but Cas had found it amusing none the less. Although Meg now knew that Cas was gay that hadn’t stopped her from flirting with him on a daily basis. She never went too far with it though, and if Cas had to be honest he did quite like the attention. It was something he hadn’t experienced before and the boost to his confidence was quite welcome, hopefully one day that confidence would come in handy. It would also protect him from having any unsavoury students finding out about his sexual orientation, at least for the time being. He thought back on how cruel teenagers could be. It made him sad, he wanted this to be a good end to his high school experience, not one filled with the anxiety that his previous schools had caused him.  
  
Then there was Dean. Cas didn’t know what to make of Dean. He had been closed off and honestly a little rude after the first day. Cas had thought he would like to get to know him. He definitely had some attraction to Dean, who wouldn’t? He was an incredibly good looking guy, but his attitude was a little off putting. He had seemed like his mind was elsewhere on the Monday, and Cas had felt concern for him even though he didn’t know him. However by the time Thursday had rolled around and Dean had spent the previous two days snapping at his friends and being generally sullen Cas had begun to think he had made a mistake in being concerned. Maybe this was just the way Dean was, and if that was the case he wasn’t really sure he wanted to get to know him. It was probably for the best anyway, Cas felt sure that if he fed this ridiculous crush he had developed then he would only wind up getting hurt when it turned out that Dean actually was a bit of an ass.  
Dean surprised him on the Thursday though, he tried to make conversation with Cas but Cas was so unsure how he should react to the one-eighty that he didn’t really know what to say to Dean. He wasn’t rude, but he kept his answers short, hoping that Dean would just assume that he was being quiet due to being in class. After a while Dean settled down and started on his own work, Cas felt like he could breathe easier from then on. He had noticed that Dean kept glancing over at him though, and although Cas didn’t look at him every time he felt his eyes land on him, the times that he did he noticed that it made Dean blush. This accentuated the green of his eyes and made the freckles on his cheeks stand out even more.  
_Dammit, this would be so much easier if he wasn’t so cute, maybe getting to know him wouldn’t be so bad after all? I can make friends with him, it doesn’t need to lead anywhere, right?  
_Cas had spent the rest of Thursday and all of Friday going over the same argument with himself, by the time the bell had rung on Friday afternoon he still didn’t feel fully sure he wanted to get to know Dean, but he felt that he really ought to give the guy a chance, he had tried so hard over the past two days to be nice to Cas after all.  
  
The opportunity to start to get to know Dean came that weekend. He had almost forgotten that he, Gabe, and Anna had been invited out to the mall and then for food with Dean and his friends.  
It had been Dean that reminded him about it after the final bell had rung that Friday afternoon.  
“Hey Cas?”  
“Yes Dean?”  
“So, um, about tomorrow... I was thinking that maybe I could give you a lift if you wanted?”  
“Oh, well that is a nice offer Dean, thank you, but I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way or anything, and I mean I was just gonna go with Gabe and Anna anyway”  
“Oh yeh sure, of course Cas, I shouldn’t, I mean I should have figured that you would go with Gabe, sorry”  
Dean had looked so disappointed when he had dropped his gaze to the floor that Cas couldn’t help but have mercy on him.  
“Dean, I would love to get a lift from you thank you”  
Dean’s head had shot up and the smile on his face had made Cas think that he had made the right choice in accepting.  
“So I will need, uh, can I get your address?” Cas smiled at Dean stumbling over his words. _I can definitely be friends with him_ Cas thought.  
“Of course Dean”, Cas wrote his address on a piece of scrap paper and handed it to Dean, “Here you go”  
“Thanks man, well I will see you tomorrow then. Is 10 going to be ok, or is that too early?”  
“10 will be fine thanks Dean. See you tomorrow”  
“Bye Cas”  
Cas watched Dean as he left the classroom, he was looking forward to Saturday quite a lot now.  
  
When Cas got out to the parking lot he found both Gabe and Anna waiting for him, she had claimed shotgun so Cas had to sit in the back. After he slid into his seat he heard Gabe say “You were lucky there Cassie, another couple of minutes and I was gonna leave you here, what took you so long?”  
“I was talking to Dean”  
A resounding “Ooooooo” sounded from both Gabe and Anna. Cas sighed.  
“So what did Deano want Cassie?”  
“He asked if I wanted a lift tomorrow”  
“What? Really?”  
“Yes Gabe. Really.”  
“And? What did you say?”  
“Well I told him I would be getting a lift with you and Anna…”  
“Seriously Cassie?”  
“Yes Gabe” Cas sighed again “However, Dean looked disappointed by that so I agreed to go with him, he is going to pick me up at 10, I didn’t ask but I bet you and Anna could come with us too”  
Anna choked on her laughter “Uh no Castiel, I am sure that Gabe and I can make our own way there, isn’t that right Gabe?”  
“Hell yes Anna, no way would we intrude on Cassie’s date”  
“It’s not a date Gabe!” Cas snapped at his brother “Come on let’s get home already please”.  
  
*******  
  
_Come on buddy, just ask him already, the worst that can happen is he says no, and that wouldn’t be the end of the world right?  
_Dean had spent the last half an hour of class trying to psyche himself up to ask Cas if he wanted a lift on Saturday. When the bell rang he realised it was now or never. He had been so sure that Cas would say no that when that exact thing happened he thought he would have been able to hide his disappointment better.  
_Conceal don’t feel Dean.  
_Cas must have noticed though because he changed his mind and accepted Dean’s offer and although Dean felt sure that it was out of pity he would take it. After he got Cas’ address they agreed on a time for him to pick Cas up. He said his goodbyes and headed out of class, when he knew he was alone he silently fist pumped the air in celebration. He couldn’t wait for Saturday now.  
He arrived at Sam’s school and he realised he hadn’t even asked Sam if he wanted to come.  
_Shit. Of course Sam is gonna want to come you idiot. Which means no alone time with Cas. Dammit.  
_He was still lost in his own world when Sam dropped into the passenger seat which frightened a squawk out of him.  
“Dude, you ok?”  
“Yeh Sammy. I was just thinking.”  
“You? Thinking? That’d be a first” Sam laughed heartily and Dean couldn’t even find the strength to be mad at him over it.  
“So, we are all going to the mall tomorrow and I totally forgot to invite you, sorry. Do you wanna come?”  
“Oh yeh, Jo texted me last night I forgot to tell you. Yep I will be there, but I am staying at Kevin’s tonight so his mum is going to drop us off and then we are going to a movie with Jess after the Roadhouse so her dad will drop me off after that if that’s ok?”  
“Really? Yeh Sammy that’s great” Dean couldn’t hide his smile.  
“You seem pretty happy about that Dean, did you not want me around?”  
“What? No of course not, I mean, of course I want you around” Dean stuttered.  
Sam had sucked a sharp breath in as it dawned on him “Do you have a date Dean?”  
“No. No no no. I am just happy that you are hanging out with your friends, it is good to see Sammy, that’s all”  
_Dear god, get yourself together man.  
_“Ok Dean, whatever you say, just be safe ok!”  
“Jeez Sammy, I don’t have a date ok, just drop it please” Dean implored.  
“Fine, whatever, so can you drop me at Kevin’s later?”  
Dean sighed, grateful that Sam had changed the subject, “Course I can Sammy”.  
  
When they got home Sam dashed up the stairs to go and shower and Dean crashed out on the couch. He flicked through the channels on the tv, his mind wandered and he couldn’t settle on anything. He was still sitting there not focused on anything on the tv when Sam had come running back down the stairs.  
“Dean, you ready?” Sam shouted from the hallway.  
“Yeh I’m coming, give me a sec”  
As Dean headed towards the front door, Sam was already outside waiting by Baby.  
_The damn kid is in a perpetual rush, he will be the death of me.  
_The drive to Kevins had been fairly relaxed, Sam asked what Dean was going to be up to for the night.  
“Probably order some takeout and watch crap tv”  
“Why don’t you go out with Charlie or Benny?”  
“Just tired Sam. Gonna veg out and fall asleep on the couch probably. Got a problem with that bitch?”  
Sam stifled a laugh “Jerk”  
Dean pulled up in front of Kevin’s house and when Sam got out he waved to Mrs. Tran and shouted to her that if Sammy caused trouble then he would come pick him up. She assured Dean that everything would be fine. Sam had ducked his head back through the window “See you tomorrow Dean, have a good night”  
“You too Sammy, say hi to Kevin for me, see ya”  
Sam waved as he walked up the path and then he disappeared inside the house.  
  
Dean didn’t know how he got back home, he barely remembered any of the drive.  
_You really need to get a grip dude._  
He grabbed the phone and ordered some takeout and then settled himself in for a night of mindless tv. At some point he must have dozed off because he slid off the couch when the sound of the doorbell scared him awake.  
He rubbed sleepily at his face and he grabbed his wallet when he went to answer the door. He had been surprised to find Charlie at his door instead of the delivery guy.  
  
“Charlie? What are you doing here?”  
“Hey sleepy head. I have been trying to phone you but your phone is always engaged so I thought I would drop in on my way past and make sure you are ok, and hadn’t oh I dunno been slaughtered by an axe murderer or something”  
“Huh that’s weird, let me go check the phone, come in”  
Charlie walked in and closed the door and Dean went to check the phone “Shit” he said as he huffed out a laugh at himself, “looks like I didn’t hang up properly after ordering food”  
“God Dean, you are not having a good week, well anyway, now I know you are alive and shit I just wanted to know what the plan for tomorrow is? Do you know who is driving?”  
The question brought a flush of colour to Deans cheeks “Uh, well Sam is going with Kevin, and um, I am gonna give Cas a lift” he looked down at his shuffling feet.  
“Ok, cool. Well I guess I will see if Benny wants to pick my sorry ass up then, I think he is already taking Meg so it shouldn’t be a problem”  
“Oh ok. I mean I can give you a lift if you want Charles?”  
“And have me interrupt your date with Cas, never!” Charlie said as she grinned wickedly at Dean.  
“Oh god” Dean scrubbed at his face “It isn’t a date Charlie”  
She patted him on the shoulder and looked at him sympathetically “Mmmhm you keep telling yourself that sugarplum”  
“Come on Charlie, I’m not, I don’t like guys, I don’t think” Dean had almost whispered the last part.  
“Hey Dean, you know there is no judgement from me, just be careful with him ok, he is a good kid and I don’t wanna have to come and whip your ass”  
“What do you mean? What do you think I am gonna do? I bet he doesn’t even like guys anyway, and even if he did why would he like me? He could do so much better”  
“Jeez slow down there Dean. I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone intentionally. I just get the feeling he hasn’t had the best experiences in school so far ok?” her smile widened across her face “Anyway, I thought you didn’t like him like that??” she teased.  
“Shut it Charlie”  
“Ok ok, I am done now, I gotta go anyway. So I will see you tomorrow morning. Love ya!”  
“Love you too kiddo, now get outta here before my food arrives, I am not sharing any with you”  
  
No more than five minutes passed before the doorbell rang again. Deans stomach growled in anticipation and after he paid he locked the door and grabbed another soda from the kitchen. He spent the next hour chowing down on the best pizza in town and watched an episode of the X-Files. He spent the whole episode thinking about how attractive both Mulder and Scully were.  
_Wow one week round a hot guy and now you are seeing them everywhere.  
_  
After he had cleared away the leftovers, he checked the front door, flicked all the lights off and headed to the bathroom. If he showered now he wouldn’t have to worry in case he didn’t have time in the morning he thought. He brushed his teeth whilst he waited for the water to warm up. He found his mind wandering back to Cas and the way his face would start to crinkle when he had found something funny. How he just didn’t seem to be able to tame that wild hair of his. How blue his eyes were and how Dean honestly felt like he could drown in them. How he tilted his head in an adorable manner when he caught Dean looking at him.  
  
He stepped under the spray of the shower and let the hot water relax his muscles. It started to relieve some of the tension that had built up over the past week. He grabbed his body wash and squirted an unreasonably large amount into his palms. He worked his hands over his body enjoying the silky feeling. He breathed in deeply revelling in the scent. It was reminiscent of the way Cas smelled. Earthy and deep and like an upcoming thunderstorm. The thought of how intoxicating Cas smelled had Deans cock taking an interest. He scanned the contents of the little basket stuck to the tiled wall. He found what he was after and he popped the cap of the baby oil open. He squirted a generous amount into his palm and placed the bottle back in the basket. He used his free hand to lean up against the wall, his head dropped forwards as his lubed hand slid along his now semi-hard cock, not wanting to rush he slowly pumped his hand bringing himself to full mast. He circled the engorged head of his cock with his fingers and hissed in pleasure as his thumb rubbed across the slit. He slid his hand back down his shaft and loosened his grip as he reached lower to cup his balls, he rolled them gently before he squeezed and tugged them slightly. He watched as his cock twitched from the sensation. His breathing became ragged as he worked his hand back up along his cock. He gave a little twist each time he reached his swollen head, spreading his pre-cum around, his hand worked faster as his pleasure mounted. His thoughts wandered and he imagined that it was another hand bringing him such pleasure, long fingers teasing every inch of his skin. He imagined how it would feel to have Cas wrapped around him, his hard cock pressed against Deans ass cheeks, his breath ghosting over Deans neck as he peppered soft kisses across his shoulders, how it would feel to have Cas bite down on his neck, sucking and leaving him marked, claiming Dean as his. He felt his muscles tighten and his hips jerk as he fucked into his hand.  
“Oh, oh fuck! Fuck! Casss” Dean cried out, his orgasm had torn through him, cum splashed against the shower wall, his body twitched from the force, “Fuuucckkk” he exhaled forcefully.  
_What the fuck was that? God I have never cum like that before.  
_His mind reeled as he came down from the high, the water turned cold and made his skin prickle from the chill. He rinsed himself off quickly and turned the water off. He stepped out of the shower, his legs wobbled and he had to grab the sink to steady himself. He wrapped his towel around his waist and headed to his room where he collapsed onto his bed.  
“Shit” he breathed out, “shit, shit, shit.” He felt more than a little embarrassed. He sat up and pulled the towel out from underneath him, he dried off quickly and threw the towel into the corner of his room before he crawled under his covers.  
  
After what felt like forever tossing and turning, sleep evading him, he decided that maybe some warm milk would help settle his mind. He needed the comfort of his childhood, from before his Ma was gone when she would make him warm milk and sit with him till he settled enough to fall asleep.  
He padded his way to the kitchen, relieved that he was home alone. He couldn’t believe he had jerked off and had a thoroughly amazing orgasm to thoughts of Cas. He just knew that if Sammy were home he would be able to sense something was bothering him and he definitely didn’t feel up to having that conversation. He switched the light on so he didn’t do something stupid like spilling hot milk all over himself whilst naked. He glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall.  
_Jesus, surely it can’t be half past one in the morning?  
_He made his way to the fridge and grabbed the milk, and then a cup from the cupboard, he filled it all the way up and placed it in the microwave to heat up. After double checking the house was locked up he padded back up to his room, milk in hand, and settled back under his covers. Within half an hour he had finally drifted off to sleep, dreaming about clear blue skies and deep blue oceans.  
  
He had been rudely awakened by his alarm screaming shrilly at him a few hours later. He smashed the off button and rolled over falling quickly back to sleep.  
He jerked himself awake suddenly, “Fuck, what time is it? Gotta pick up Cas” he grumbled as he blindly fumbled for his alarm, when his vision had come back into focus he was relieved to see it was only twenty minutes after his alarm had gone off.  
  
He stumbled out of bed and rifled through his drawers to find some underwear, he pulled them on as he made his way to the bathroom and he almost tripped, nearly face planting his bedroom door, before he realised it would be better to stand still to put them on. Finally he made it to the bathroom. He ran the cold water and splashed it over his face, the chill of it brought him into full consciousness.  
As he brushed his teeth he pondered over what to wear. He didn’t want it to look to his friends like he had made an effort, but he did want to make a good impression on Cas. He headed back to his room and searched through his closet. He settled on his sage green long sleeved henley’s shirt that he knew fitted him just right and maybe helped to highlight his eyes a little bit, a simple pair of black jeans, his well-worn leather jacket, and his comfiest boots. Back in the bathroom he stood looking at himself in the mirror, he decided his hair needed a bit of something after falling into bed with it wet the night before, he grabbed a blob of styling gel and combed his fingers through it getting it to stay just how he liked it, a little spiked up but not too styled.  
_That’ll do Dean, that’ll do._  
He bounded down the stairs and sprinted into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. As he breathed in the aroma of it he was grateful that he hadn’t slept too late, at least all his faculties would be in order when he finally got to Cas’ house to pick him up. The thought of Cas made those pesky butterflies take flight again, they were even more erratic after his little episode in the shower the night before.  
_God I hope Cas does not pick up on my nerves. Just be chill Dean, you’ve got this. He won’t ever know that you jacked off to thoughts of him. God dammit brain shut up.  
_Dean downed the remainder of his coffee, took a deep breath, and headed out to Baby. He slid in behind the wheel and started her up. He listened to her purr and it calmed his swirling thoughts. He pulled out of his drive and turned down the road towards Cas’ house.


	2. Tuck your heart away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang head to the mall for the day and something surprisingly cute happens when they go to eat at the Roadhouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am beta'ing this myself so I am sorry if there are any glaring errors. I hope you can forgive me if that happens.

**Tuck your heart away.**  
  
“Get off me Gabe,” Cas shouted at his brother, “I can dress myself you assbutt”.  
“Jeez Cassie, chill, I am just trying to help. You don’t have the best fashion sense you know. I thought you would want to look good for Dean”.  
“Seriously Gabe? My clothes are fine,” he turned away from Gabe and back towards his closet mumbling, “and I don’t know why you would think I want to look good for Dean.” He hoped that Gabe had stopped paying enough attention to him that he didn’t hear the last part, unfortunately Cas wasn’t that lucky.  
“Uh, well for starters, you get this doe eyed look every time he is within about 100 feet of you, and second…”  
“No I don’t Gabe” Cas huffed interrupting his brother.  
“Yes you do. And so does he”.  
“No he.. uh no he doesn’t. Does he? No. Gabe stop lying to me”.  
“I am not lying Cassie. Yes I may tease you, but I don’t lie, and I certainly wouldn’t lie about anything like this”.  
“Hmmph shut up please” Cas was mortified and he knew he was blushing furiously. _Surely Dean doesn’t like me? Gabe is such a dick sometimes, he must be messing with me._  
“Fine baby bro, don’t believe me. It is as plain as day though, so if you don’t want anyone else, including Deano, to pick up on it then you should be more careful”.  
“Dammit Gabe. Fine. Look just don’t embarrass me today, please?”  
“Would I do a thing like that?”  
“Yes you would Gabe and you know you would”.  
“Seriously, you wound me Castiel” Gabe said laughing as he walked out of Cas’ room. He ruffled Cas’ hair as he went.  
“GABE!” Cas shouted, annoyance clear in his voice, “Thanks you ass”.  
  
Cas turned back to his clothes contemplatively. He settled on a plain black t-shirt, and dark grey jeans with some black sneakers.  
_Hmm it is missing something_ he thought as he looked at his reflection. He opened his closet door and found exactly what he was after. He slid his arms into a baby blue blazer and went to stand in front of his mirror again. _Yes that’s it.  
_He smiled at his reflection before he left his room and headed towards the stairs. When he got to the top of the stairs he heard Gabe’s voice saying “…ure he won’t be long Deano, he’s gotta make sure he looks pretty you kn…”  
“GABE” Cas hissed as he barrelled down the stairs to find Gabe and Dean stood in the hallway. Gabe grinning from ear to ear as Dean looked like a rabbit in headlights.  
Cas managed to get out a “Hello Dean” before his mind almost shut down. _Oh God, oh god, oh god. He looks amazing. Shit. Breathe Cas. Just breathe._  
“Hey Cas” Dean smiled at him and Cas was able to take the breath he had been holding, “you look good, that colour suits you” he said as he waved his hand towards Cas’ blazer.  
“Oh, um, thank you Dean. You too. That is a lovely shade of green” He replied shyly.  
“Well I guess I will leave you two lovebirds to it then” Gabe chuckled as they both spun their heads towards him.  
“Gabe. Shut up” Cas knew his brother would embarrass him and he was mildly prepared for it, but he wasn’t prepared for the rosy blush that had rapidly spread across Deans cheeks and he didn’t know what to say or do. _Oh shit. Come on Cas. Say something.  
_“Um, so are you ready Dean?”  
Dean turned towards him slowly and Cas watched as Dean swallowed deeply when their eyes met.  
“What?”  
“Are you ready to go Dean?”  
“Yeh, sorry, yes I’m ready. Um are we giving Gabe and Anna a lift too?”  
“No, Gabe is going to be bringing Anna”.  
“Ok, that’s cool” Dean smiled at him and dear god if it wasn’t the most beautiful smile Cas had ever seen. _Oh I am so screwed._  
“We are going Gabe! See you and Anna there”.  
“Kay you crazy kids, see you in a bit. Oh and Deano…”  
“Uh yeh?”  
“Take care of my baby brother ok?”  
“Goodbye Gabe” Cas shouted as he turned Dean towards the door and practically shoved him out of the house.  
  
*******  
  
“God I am so sorry about him Dean. He can be a bit over the top sometimes”  
“Don’t worry about it Cas. I would probably be exactly the same if I was in his shoes”  
  
Dean heard a low whistle from behind him and turned around to see Cas staring at Baby. “You like her?” he asked, beaming with pride.  
“Is she yours Dean?”  
“She sure is” he smiled so wide it almost hurt but seeing the look on Cas’ face he couldn’t help it.  
“Oh Dean, she is beautiful” Cas sighed wistfully.  
“Come on then Cas. Let me introduce you”  
Dean led the way, Cas followed closely behind.  
“Cas, meet Baby” he said as he looked at Cas and gestured to Baby.  
“She is called Baby?”  
“She is”  
“It suits her” Cas smiled at him and Dean almost forgot how to breathe.  
“Could I touch her?” Cas whispered.  
“Of course. Just be careful. She is precious”.  
Dean watched Cas as he ran his fingertips reverently along Baby’s side. He couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped him.  
Cas turned towards him, “Are you ok Dean?”  
“Yeh Cas. I really am. I am happy you like her”  
“I do Dean. She is the most beautiful car I have ever seen”  
“Well let’s get you inside her, you have got to hear her purr.”  
Cas blushed a smidgen and it forced a giggle out of Dean. _Shit he is adorable.  
  
_He held the passenger door open for Cas and watched as he slid onto the seat carefully, smiling to himself. _Dean you are officially screwed._  
He took a few deep, calming breaths as he walked around to his side and did his best to gather himself together before he settled in.  
He turned the ignition and AC/DC started to blast out of the stereo system, “Shit, sorry Cas” he said as he scrambled to turn the volume down.  
Cas laughed and Deans breath caught in his throat.  
“It’s fine Dean. I enjoy AC/DC. Just not quite this loud first thing in the morning”.  
Dean leaned his head back against the seat and breathed deeply for a few seconds.  
“Dean?” Cas’ voice was almost a whisper.  
“Mmm?”  
“Are you ok?” concern laced his voice.  
“Yeh I am good Cas, shall we get going?” Dean smiled as he turned to face Cas. Cas’ head was tilted questioningly and it did weird things to Deans insides. He didn’t wait for Cas’ reply, gunning the engine he quickly pulled out into the road earning a shocked chuckle from Cas.  
“You’re wild” Cas gasped. Dean turned to look at him just as Cas threw his head back, laughing giddily. Watching Cas like that, Dean knew he never wanted to see him sad, he wanted to make Cas laugh as much as he possibly could.  
  
They spent the drive talking about what music they liked and Dean was pleased to find that Cas had very similar tastes to him. He could definitely see himself being good friends with Cas. It wasn’t often that Dean found someone he connected with so easily.  
Sure he had Sammy, but he was his brother, and he had Charlie, but she was more like a sister to him, he would be happy to have a best friend to hang out with, and if Cas’ taste in music was anything to go by then he could see that happening easily. He found that he was silently smiling to himself when Cas’ voice interrupted his thoughts.  
“Uh Dean, you just drove past the mall.”  
“What?” he glanced over at Cas to find him grinning widely at him.  
“You missed the mall Dean.”  
“Shit. Really?” he mumbled looking at his surroundings, “Shit, sorry buddy.”  
“Hey it’s ok. We can just turn round at some point yeh?”  
“Yeh, of course. Still, thanks for noticing. God knows where we would have ended up if you hadn’t noticed.”  
Cas chuckled softly, “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything” it was almost a whisper, not really loud enough for Dean to hear over the music.  
“What did you say Cas?”  
“Nothing Dean, it’s fine.” Cas smiled at him and Dean let it drop, he was just pleased to see that smile again.  
  
Dean took a couple of turns and eventually they worked their way back to the mall’s parking lot. He found a space out of the way of all the other cars and when he saw Cas looking at him strangely he just shrugged his shoulders and said simply “I like to keep Baby safe”.  
They got out of Baby and headed towards the mall. Cas kept his shoulders squared and head high, but he looked tense.  
“Dude, you ok?” Dean asked as he bumped his shoulder into Cas’.  
“Mmm, yeh, just a bit nervous I guess”  
“Why?”  
Cas rubbed his hands over his face, and Dean took the opportunity to run his eyes over the whole of Cas, before he settled his eyes back on his face.  
“Honestly Dean, I am not so good at making new friends, people find me weird, or awkward or something, I don’t know.”  
Dean placed his hand on Cas’ arm “Seriously dude? You seem pretty cool to me.”  
Cas let out a strained laugh “Thanks Dean. You hardly know me though. I am sure when you do get to know me you will find me weird too.”  
“Cas, there is nothing wrong with being weird,” Dean responded, maybe a little too forcefully, “I mean, you’ve met me, and you’ve met Charlie, in fact you have met all of us and I am pretty sure I can say without any shadow of a doubt that not a single one of us is normal.”  
He is pleased when he hears a breathy laugh escape Cas’ lips at that.  
“Now come on, let’s get inside before they send a search party, we’re already late” he said as he flung his arm around Cas’ shoulder and dragged him towards the mall.  
  
As they got closer to the mall Dean let his arm slide off of Cas’ shoulder, but he kept his palm pressed against Cas’ back, only dropping it after they had reached their destination. Cas turned to look at him, a question furrowing his brow, but Deans attention was taken by Lisa running up to him and jumping into his arms as she squealed his name out. He spun her around out of habit and caught a brief shadow of something pass across Cas’ face before he set her back down. He didn’t get a chance to ask if Cas was ok before Lisa had taken his hand and dragged him towards the rest of the gang. He glanced behind them and saw Cas following with his head down. _Shit. What did I do?  
_When they reached everybody else he extricated his hand from Lisa’s. He shrugged as Charlie walked past him and glowered.  
  
“Hey Cas. How are you?” Charlies voice was low but friendly.  
“Charlie” Cas looked up at her, a shy smile on his face, “I am” he sighed “good I guess thanks. How are you?”  
“I am really good now you’re here,” she said, and then spoke much louder, “Glad to see Deans driving didn’t give you a heart attack or anything” she winked at him and it made him chuckle.  
“Hey Charles, my driving is perfect I will have you know” Dean pouted.  
“I am fine really, thanks Charlie. Deans driving was fine.”  
She pulled Cas in for a hug and whispered “I am here if you need a friend, you looked kinda sad when you were walking behind Dean and,” as if for emphasis she shuddered as she said the next word, “Lisa.”  
“Thanks Charlie. Really I am good, just not a morning person. Ask Gabe and Anna, they will no doubt describe me as being a monster if you catch me without coffee before midday.”  
“Ok” she smiled at him as she pulled back from the hug, when she turned back to everyone else she loudly declared it was time for coffee and had no disagreements from anyone else. She linked her arm with Cas and practically skipped away from the rest of the group, heading towards the food court and the call of coffee.  
  
Everyone followed behind them chattering together happily. Dean attempted to join in with their conversations but his thoughts were on the look that Cas had had on his face when Lisa was wrapped around him. He didn’t know what that look meant but it wasn’t something he wanted to see on Cas’ face again. He resolved to spend as much time with Cas as he could throughout the day.  
  
When he reached the coffee shop he found Charlie and Cas huddled together and he crept up behind them sliding an arm around both of their shoulders and resting his head between them.  
“So guys, what are ya havin’? I’m buying.”  
“Dean you don’t have…” Cas started to say before Charlie cut him off.  
“And here I was thinking you were gonna let me buy my own coffee Winchester. Glad you finally got your head outta your ass. I’ll get a Mochaccino thanks Dean” she turned her head and gave him a peck on his cheek, slyly winking at Cas when she pulled away.  
“Cas?” Dean looked at him with a smile on his face.  
“Uh, could I just get an Americano please Dean?”  
“Course buddy. You and Charlie go and find a table and I will get the drinks.”  
“Thank you Dean. That is very kind of you.”  
“My pleasure Cas” Dean couldn’t help chuckling at the blush he saw spread over Cas’ face at his words. He turned back towards the counter before he started to blush himself.  
_Come on Dean, get yourself together. You are not a giggling school girl._ He admonished himself.  
  
After he placed the order he stood to the side waiting for the coffees, the rest of the gang stood around the counter deciding what they wanted.  
Lisa sidled up to him, “What are we having Dean?”  
Just as he was about to reply his name was called out. He grabbed his order and turned to Lisa, “Sorry Lisa, I already ordered. You ok getting your own?”  
She harrumphed at him and promptly spun on her heels heading back to the queue.  
“Jeez, sorry” he sighed under his breath as he headed off to find Cas and Charlie.  
  
He spotted them sat at the end of a long table just large enough for their whole group. They were sat opposite each other so Dean flopped down into the seat at the end of the table. Charlie on one side of him and Cas on the other. As he straightened in his chair his knee knocked against Cas’ and he nearly spilt the coffee he was attempting to slide over the table to him.  
“Shit sorry dude” he laughed.  
“It’s ok Dean. Thank you” Cas took his coffee and held it up to his face breathing in deeply, eyes closed. He let out a low moan and Dean almost choked. Charlie patted his back as he coughed loudly. He could hear her giggling at him but he couldn’t focus properly on anything other than the sound that had come out of Cas. _Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. That was really hot. Fuck. What is happening with me?_  
  
He was still coughing as everyone else made their way to the table and found their seats. Sammy crept up behind him and almost made him squeal when he smacked his hands onto his shoulders.  
“You alright Dean?”  
“Shit Sammy. You scared the life outta me” Dean glared daggers at his brother but Sammy just laughed at him and walked off to sit next to Jess, and Kevin without another word.  
  
There was chatter amongst them all that got louder and more rambunctious the more everyone started to wake up. Dean did his best to keep up with the conversation and he responded when somebody spoke to him but he wasn’t fully paying attention to any of them. After he finished his drink, he pushed his chair out and told them he would be back in a minute. He walked past a trashcan on his way to the restrooms, and threw in his empty coffee cup. He dove into the only available stall when he reached the restroom and after locking the door he banged his head against it repeatedly. “What the fuck was that Winchester?” he grumbled to himself. Hearing the outer door open and close he went silent.  
“Deano? You in here?”  
Dean took a couple of steadying breaths before he replied, “Yeh Gabe. I’ll be out in a second.”  
“You alright? You looked a bit out of it out there” Gabe stated.  
Dean flushed the toilet even though he hadn’t used it and unlocked the door before stepping out. He glanced around the room and spotted Gabe at one of the urinals. “Yeh I am fine thanks Gabe. Better now I have some coffee inside me” he washed his hands whilst Gabe finished up and after drying them he stood with his back to the sinks waiting for Gabe to wash up.  
“You sound just like Cassie”.  
“Cassie?”  
Gabe laughed heartily. “God he would probably have a fit if you ever called him that. In fact he will probably have a fit if he finds out I called him that in front of you. Let’s go tell him” he wiggled his eyebrows at Dean, a teasing grin on his face.  
“I don’t think so Gabe. I think he is already upset with me today for some reason. I don’t need to go making it worse.”  
“Why would he be upset with you? What did you do?”  
“Honestly Gabe, I don’t have a fucking clue.” Dean sighed, his head dropped down.  
Gabe patted his shoulder, “I am sure it’s nothing Dean. He is always a grumpy sod first thing in the morning. He will warm up now he has some coffee inside him. Come on, let’s get back out there, I wanna see what this place has to offer.”  
Gabe grabbed the door and held it open for Dean.  
  
When they got back outside everyone was stood waiting for them. Dean was glad to see Cas was now smiling, but a fleeting feeling of something akin to jealousy ran through him when he saw that Benny had his arm wrapped around Cas’ shoulder, their heads pressed close together in conversation.  
Gabe clapped him on the shoulder again and gave him a tentative smile when Dean glanced at him. He mouthed “I’m sure it’s nothing” before he walked off towards where Anna was stood chatting happily to Charlie.  
  
Dean started walking towards Cas and Benny when Jo stopped him by sliding her arm through his. She said to everyone, “Right gang, where to?” and then leaned in close to Dean and quietly said, “Lisa was making a beeline for you again, I thought I should step in.”  
Dean looked around and saw Lisa glaring at him, he shrugged apologetically to her before he turned back to Jo and whispered his thanks.  
  
Gabe declared he wanted to see everything, but if there was somewhere that sold sweets then he wanted to go there first.  
So the decision was made and they all walked off in the direction of Corbetts the best sweet shop around. Everything there was handmade and extra delicious because of it.  
  
Once they had satisfied Gabe’s sweet tooth they spent a few hours wandering around, going in any shops they wanted to. Dean finally managed to find his way back to Cas’ side.  
“How are you doing Cas? Are you having a nice time?” he asked.  
“I am thanks Dean. Everyone is really nice and friendly. Thank you for bringing me.”  
“You are welcome. I am glad you are enjoying yourself. Are you getting hungry at all?”  
“Yes, actually I am,” Cas said, “I could probably go for something to eat. What do you have in mind?”  
“I dunno, let’s ask everyone. We are going to be eating at the Roadhouse tonight so we should probably have something light?” he questioned.  
“Sounds like a good plan Dean.” Cas smiled at him and Deans heart fluttered.  
“Right, ok, great. Let me ask the guys then”.  
  
“GUYS! Do you… Hey guys!” Dean had raised his voice to try and get everyone’s attention but there were too many conversations going on and nobody had noticed him. A piercing whistle split through the air and everyone stopped dead, Dean spun on his heels a look of shock on his face when he saw Cas doubled over with laughter.  
“What the hell was that?”  
Cas composed himself enough to stand up straight, “Sorry Dean, thought you needed a bit of help getting their attention.”  
“Uh, yeh, thanks I think,” He turned to look back at everyone else, “so do you guys want to grab some lunch?”  
There was a resounding yes from everyone and before they could break out into fights about what they all wanted to eat Dean spoke again, “Great. How about we go to the arcade then? We can get a couple of buckets of wings and some salad, and then play some games?”  
“That’s a great idea Dean,” Lisa said smiling at him, “I would like to head to the arcade.”  
“Great that’s settled then,” Dean turned and held his hand up to Cas, “Come on man, don’t leave me hanging” he sighed exasperatedly.  
“Sorry Dean,” Cas said as he returned his hi-five, “My social skills are rusty.”  
“It’s ok man” Dean grinned as he slapped Cas on the back.  
“Right guys, if you all want to head off to the arcade I will catch up with y’all in a few minutes.”  
  
Dean turned to head off on his own as everyone else started to walk in the direction of the arcade. He was stopped short by a hand on his arm, he turned to see Cas looking at him, “Are you ok Dean?”  
“Yeh I am good Cas, I have to piss real bad though, and I wanted to get a gift for Ellen before I forgot. I won’t be more than ten minutes or something. I will meet you with the others at the arcade.” He gave Cas what he hoped was a reassuring smile before he walked off, not giving Cas a chance to reply.  
  
When he came out of the restrooms he was surprised to find Cas leaning up against the wall waiting for him.  
“Cas?” he wasn’t sure if Cas had noticed him yet and he didn’t want to scare him. Even so, Cas jumped slightly before turning to see Dean.  
“Hey. Everyone else had gone, and I wasn’t sure where I was going so I thought I would just wait for you. Is that ok?” Cas asked nervously.  
“Of course it is Cas. Come on. I want to go and get a book real quick.”  
  
They walked in companionable silence to the book store and when they got inside Dean told Cas he wouldn’t be long so Cas wandered around for a while looking at what they had to offer. When Dean had finished he found Cas stood in front of the ‘Modern & Contemporary Fiction’ section.  
“Ah cool, I love Vonnegut, have you read any?” he asked Cas as he stood next to him, their shoulders bumping together.  
“I can’t say that I have. I am not really up on “Pop Culture” Dean.”  
Cas’ use of finger quotes made Dean laugh out loud. Seeing a mildly offended look pass across Cas’ face he did his best to school his features and stop laughing. “I will lend you some if you would like?”  
“Thank you Dean. I would like that.” Cas smiled again and Dean couldn’t have been happier.  
“Come on pal. We should get to the arcade. I bet they have already got the food in.”  
Cas silently nodded and followed Dean out of the store. As they walked through the mall to the arcade they chatted easily. Dean didn’t get too flustered and he considered that a win. He had felt nervous all day and the butterflies in his stomach still hadn’t eased but he was happy to find that talking about utter nonsense with Cas was easy. _Maybe being friends with him will be easier than I thought_ Dean smiled to himself.  
  
When they reached the arcade, he grabbed Cas’ arm to steer him towards the little diner in there. They found the rest of the gang spread over a couple of tables. Charlie shouted to them gesturing to the spare seats that she had saved for them. As they sat down she asked where they had gotten to.  
“I wanted to get a gift for Ellen and Cas came with me. Is that ok mother?” Dean said snidely as he quirked an eyebrow at her.  
Charlie punched him on the arm, “Hey no need to be an ass. I was only being nice Dean.”  
“I know Charles. Love you too.” Dean pulled her in for a hug and kissed her forehead.  
  
Whilst they waited for their food to arrive Cas asked Dean if he wanted a drink. Dean said he would love a Coke. He watched Cas go to the counter and then turned back to chat with Charlie. He heard Lisa declare that she was going to the restrooms but didn’t think anything of it. When Cas got back to the table he sat back in his seat and slid Deans drink over to him.  
“Thanks Cas”.  
“Yeh. You’re welcome.” Cas said quietly and looked down at the table, a deep frown marring his face.  
“Are you ok Cas?” Charlie asked Cas as Dean reached a hand out to touch his shoulder. Cas shrugged him off, he didn’t look at Dean, if he had he would have noticed the sad look that passed across his features, his eyes dimming slightly.  
“Yep. Fine thanks Charlie.” Dean watched him look up at Charlie and smile. _What have I done?_ He glanced at Charlie himself, a question on his face, she shrugged almost imperceptibly at him.  
  
He felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind and nearly jumped out of his skin. He had been so lost in his own thoughts trying to figure out what he could have done to make Cas upset with him. He whipped his head round and came face to face with Lisa. She planted a kiss on his lips and he sat there frozen. _What the fuck is she doing?_  
“What are you doing Lisa?” he managed to get out through clenched teeth.  
She just smiled at him and patted his cheek before she went back to her seat.  
He turned back to the table to find Benny mouthing, “What was that?” at him. He shook his head and shrugged. Benny’s eyes flicked quickly to Cas and then back to him. He was about to turn to Cas when the food arrived and distracted everyone from what had just happened. By the time they had all finished eating everything seemed to be back to normal. Cas was chatting happily again and even speaking to Dean, so Dean just went with it not wanting to cause more upset.  
  
They all spent about five minutes arguing over what they were going to do in the arcade before they collectively decided to do whatever the hell they wanted and meet up with each other an hour later.  
  
Sam, Kevin, and Jess wanted to bowl, and they asked if anybody wanted to join them. Gabe said he would like to if they didn’t mind, and he grabbed Dean’s arm asking him to join them.  
“Uh, well I was gonna see what Cas wanted to do Gabe” Dean said as he looked around to see where everyone else was going.  
“Come on Deano, come bowling for a bit and then you can go find Cas” Gabe implored.  
“Ok, fine. Gimme a sec and I will meet you there” Dean huffed. He went off to find Cas, spotting him with Charlie, Benny, and Michael he sighed and turned back to go find his brother without bothering to say anything to Cas.  
  
They were almost finished with their game, Dean totally in the zone and focussed on where he was about to throw his ball, when he heard Charlie and Cas start cheering him on. It took him by surprise and he fumbled his shot, ending his game with a damn gutter ball.  
“Shit guys, why did ya do that to me?” he grumbled. He couldn’t stay mad for long, not when Cas patted his shoulder and apologised.  
He looked into sparkling blue eyes, “Hey Cas. You good?”  
“Mhmm thanks Dean. I like this place. It is cool.”  
“That’s good. You have fun with Charlie and Benny?”  
“Yeh, they are great.”  
“That’s great man. I am glad you are making friends.”  
A blush crept across Cas’ face and it took all of Deans strength to not run his fingers across Cas’ cheek. He cleared his throat instead and glanced around just in time to see Gabe send the winning ball down the lane. Gabe jumped up and down whooping and hollering.  
Dean leaned in close to Cas, “Is he always like this?”  
Cas sucked in a sharp breath, “Um yeh pretty much. He is insufferable really.”  
Dean laughed lowly before he pulled away from Cas.  
“So, what do you all want to do now?” he turned to the group as they stood around congratulating Gabe. Gabe shouted loudly about wanting to play again and he managed to talk Charlie and Benny into joining him for a game.  
  
Dean looked at Cas and asked if he wanted to bowl or do something different.  
“Do they have Pinball?” Cas asked him.  
“Hell yeah they do, come on I will show you.”  
“Hey guys we are going to play some Pinball. Meet you all back at the entrance in another hour.”  
Dean grabbed Cas’ arm and pulled him away from the crowd before any of them could object to them going off on their own. He wanted some time alone with Cas. He wanted to make sure they were ok after how Cas had been earlier and he couldn’t do that with everyone watching him.  
“Can we just find the girls real quick to let them know where we are meeting?”  
“Of course Dean. I should check on Anna anyway.”  
  
They wandered around for a few minutes, not really sure where they would find them. They eventually spotted them at some kind of dance game. Jo and Lisa were deep in competition and Dean was pleased to see that Jo was winning. Lisa could do with being taken down a peg or two he thought. They went to stand by Meg and Anna who were waiting their turn.  
“Have you been here long?” Dean asked them.  
“Nah, we played Air Hockey first,” Meg answered, “Hey Clarence” she said smiling at Cas.  
Dean looked between her and Cas, jealousy flaring in his gut. “Clarence?” he asked Cas.  
Cas shrugged at him, “I don’t know, Meg just likes to call me that I think.”  
Anna laughed at them both, “God you guys are clueless, it’s from ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’, Clarence is an angel.” She stated simply before turning back to watch Jo and Lisa.  
Dean felt his stomach plummet. _Why is Meg calling Cas that? Does she like him?_ He visibly shook himself out of his thoughts, “Oook. Well, anyway. We are going to play some Pinball. Meet you all at the entrance in an hour.”  
  
He walked off without waiting for an answer. Cas called out to him to slow down. He took a deep, calming breath and turned back to Cas, “Sorry Cas.”  
“It’s ok Dean. Lead the way.”  
Dean wove round a couple of aisles of games before he reached the Pinball machines. He was relieved to see that nobody else was on them. He could chat to Cas easily now.  
They settled into a routine and time slipped away from them. Dean enjoyed watching Cas play, it seemed like he was in his element. He made the occasional joke and revelled in the way it would make Cas laugh. He would throw his head back, and his face would break out into the largest, gummiest grin Dean had ever seen. His eyes crinkling up from it. The more Cas laughed the more relaxed Dean became and the more he found himself bumping up against Cas’ side, or laying his hand on Cas’ back or his arm. Cas didn’t stop him so Dean assumed it was fine with him.  
_At least he isn’t shrugging me off now. That was horrible. I still need to find out what that was all about._ He sighed as he prepared himself to ask what had happened. _  
_ “Hey Cas?”  
When Cas glanced at Dean he had to look away from those endlessly blue eyes. He looked down at his hands and found that he was wringing them roughly.  
“What’s up Dean?” Cas asked, his attention already back on the little silver balls as they whizzed around the game. _  
I should ask on the way home. At least if it gets awkward we will be heading home then. Yeh that’s what I should do._  
“Uh, you are pretty awesome at Pinball.” _Great recovery Dean, well done!_ He sighed again, deeply.  
Cas’ laugh broke the tension, “Um, thanks? I think. I used to play a lot when I was younger. Gabe would drag me to arcades with his friends and I wasn’t that interested in the stuff he wanted to play so I would play on the Pinball machines. When you spend hours every week for a couple of years doing something you tend to get good at it.”  
He turned to Dean and flashed one of those enormous gummy grins, “Your turn.”  
Dean laughed “I thought you said you were good at this?”  
“You distracted me!” Cas pointed out, his grin getting even bigger.  
Dean moved over to the machine and spent a few minutes before he had lost all his balls, he hung his head in shame.  
Cas clapped him on the back and chuckled, “Not to worry Dean. I can teach you how to play if you want?”  
He looked back up at him as Cas continued to speak, “That is if you want me to of course?”  
Dean couldn’t deny the hopeful look on Cas’ face, “Sure Cas,” he looked at his watch, “just not today. We should get going. The gang will be waiting for us.”  
“Next time then?” Cas asked.  
“Yeh. I like the sounds of that.” Dean grinned happily at Cas.  
  
They made their way to the exit of the arcade, Dean had been right, everyone was stood waiting for them. Again.  
Charlie nudged him in the side when they reached everyone, he leant in close to her and she whispered, “Seems to be a running theme today.”  
“What does Charlie?”  
“All of us waiting for you and Cas.” She raised her eyebrows at him and he couldn’t stop the blush that he knew was rapidly covering his cheeks. She gave him a playful shove and laughed happily.  
“Shut up Charles” he was laughing himself now. _Screw it, I am happy. Who cares if they had to wait. I like Cas’ company. Is that a crime?_  
  
Jo clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention, “Right, does anyone need to do anything else before we head to the Roadhouse?”  
Everybody just shrugged, they had all done what they needed to during the day.  
“Ok, so who is travelling with who?” she asked.  
Jo, and Lisa had come with Michael so he said he was happy to take them to the Roadhouse.  
Gabe and Anna had travelled together.  
Charlie, and Meg had come with Benny so they were fine.  
That just left Sammy, Jess, and Kevin who would all need a lift to the Roadhouse.  
“I can go with Gabe.” Cas spoke up.  
“No Cas, you are with me.” Dean said.  
“But that doesn’t make any sense Dean. Your brother, and Jessica, and Kevin need a ride. There is space in Gabes car for me. I will just go with him.”  
“Shit” Dean scrambled to think of a way for Cas to travel with him but he knew Cas was right.  
“Ok, but just to the Roadhouse, I will take you home afterwards.”  
“You really don’t have to Dean. It is fine.”  
“No Cas. I want to. Please.” He looked pleadingly at Cas.  
“Ok Dean. I will let you take me home, if you let me go to the Roadhouse with Gabe.”  
“Deal.” Dean smiled, letting out the breath he had been holding.  
Dean ignored the look that Lisa gave him.  
  
“Come on then folks, let’s get going.” Jo sing-songed as she headed towards the exit.  
Everybody traipsed behind her, all chatting amongst themselves. Dean walked quietly alongside everyone.  
“Alright brother?”  
He looked across to Benny, “Just hungry Benny.”  
Benny guffawed at him, “Dean you’re always hungry.”  
“What is it a crime to enjoy food now?”  
“Woah. Calm down brother. I am just yanking your chain.”  
“Sorry Benny. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”  
“It’s fine. You just need to relax more. Everything ok at home?”  
“Same as usual really.” He didn’t need to elaborate more than that, Benny knew what “same as usual” meant.  
“If you need to talk you know where I am brother.”  
“Thanks Benny. I appreciate that.”  
They settled into a comfortable silence for the remainder of their walk to the parking lot. When they got there Dean made sure that Gabe knew where he was going and then said he would see them all there shortly.  
  
When he reached Baby he found Sam and his friends leaning up against her, “Hurry up Dean.” Sam whined at him.  
“Shut up bitch.”  
“Jerk.”  
“Just get in the car Sammy.” Dean smirked at him.  
“Dean how many times…”  
“Yeh, yeh, yeh, I know. It is my right as big bro to tease you though” he flashed a toothy grin at Sam.  
Once he started Baby up Sam reached over to fiddle with the stereo. Dean batted his hand away.  
“Ow, what was that for?”  
“For messing with the stereo.”  
“Dean, nobody wants to listen to your music.”  
“House rules Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”  
Dean turned the music up as he pulled out of the parking lot. Sam was gonna listen to AC/DC whether he wanted to or not.  
  
*******  
  
“I can go with Gabe.”  
“No Cas, you are with me.” He was surprised to hear the almost petulant tone of Deans voice.  
“But that doesn’t make any sense Dean. Your brother, and Jessica, and Kevin, need a ride. There is space in Gabes car for me. I will just go with him.”  
Dean huffed out a breath “Shit.”  
_Yeah, well it isn’t like I don’t want to ride with you either Dean. This just makes the most sense._  
“Ok, but just to the Roadhouse, I will take you home afterwards.”  
“You really don’t have to Dean. It is fine.”  
“No Cas. I want to. Please.”  
Seeing the pleading look on Deans face broke Cas’ resolve, “Ok Dean. I will let you take me home, if you let me go to the Roadhouse with Gabe.”  
“Deal.” Dean smiled and Cas felt like he could look at that smile forever.  
He wasn’t sure if Dean had noticed and ignored the look that Lisa had given him or if he just hadn’t noticed it. He wasn’t sure which he would prefer. _I don’t think I will ever get along with her._  
  
Cas settled in beside Anna as they all followed Jo.  
“Have you had a nice time so far Anna?”  
She leaned in towards him and whispered coyly, “I have Castiel. Thank you. Have you?”  
He watched her face closely, “Anna. Do you have a crush on someone?”  
“What? No. Why would you.. No”  
“Oh come on Anna. You think I don’t know that look that just crossed your face” he raised both eyebrows at her, “Really sister of mine.”  
“Yeh, well you have a crush on Dean.” She snapped back.  
Cas’ laughter was quiet but full bodied, “Shhhh. He doesn’t need to know.” He placed a finger to his lips, “Anyway, don’t think you can get away from my question. Come on. Who is it?”  
Anna looked down at her feet timidly.  
“Is it someone here?”  
Anna didn’t look up.  
“Is it Benny?”  
She shook her head.  
“Is it Sam?... Or Kevin?”  
Again, another shake of her head.  
Cas sucked a sharp breath in, “Is it Dean?” _God please don’t let it be Dean.  
_“No, it isn’t Dean. You are safe.”  
“So it isn’t any of the guys with us now. Is it someone from school?”  
Anna glanced at him and then quickly looked back down at her feet.  
“So, someone from school then. Hmm. Have I met him?”  
“Yes you know them Castiel.”  
Cas sighed in exasperation, “God, Anna. I don’t think I even know any other guys at school.”  
“It’s Charlie.” Anna spoke to her feet. Cas didn’t hear her.  
“What?” he put his hand on Anna’s arm to stop her movements, “Look at me Anna.”  
Anna resolutely looked up at Cas.  
“I said... It’s Charlie.”  
“Charlie? I don’t know a guy named Charlie.”  
“Jesus Castiel are you being asinine for a reason? Charlie. You know. The girl with the red hair walking about 10 feet in front of us right now.” Anna hissed at him.  
“You? Charlie? But you… you’re not.. are you?”  
“Honestly Castiel. You would think that you of all people would actually be able to say Lesbian, or at the very least Gay, or maybe you could even try Bisexual?” She huffed before starting to walk away from him.  
“Anna wait. Please. I’m sorry. It’s just you have never said anything like this to me before. I didn’t mean to be an ass.”  
Anna slowed her pace and allowed Cas to catch back up to her.  
“I’m sorry Anna. I really didn’t mean to be insensitive. You just surprised me. Does she know?”  
“No she doesn’t, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to her. If the time comes I will tell her myself. That time is not now though.”  
Cas pulled his sister in for a bone crushing hug, “I promise I won’t say anything to her, or anyone else. If you really like her though then you should tell her. She is a lovely person.” He spoke quietly so nobody else could hear him.  
“Thank you Castiel. You are a good brother you know that right?”  
She took hold of his hand and dragged him towards the rest of the group, “Come on, Gabe is waiting for us.”  
  
When they reached Gabe’s car Dean was already walking towards the Impala.  
_Oh, guess I will see you there then Dean._  
“What’s the matter Cassie? You look like someone has kicked your puppy.”  
“It’s nothing Gabriel.”  
“Is it because your boyfriend didn’t say goodbye to you?”  
“He isn’t my boyfriend Gabriel.”  
“So it is because he didn’t say goodbye. Honestly Cassie. You are hopeless. He said he would meet us all there. I think he wanted to get there as soon as he could considering he couldn’t drive you there.”  
Cas looked at Gabe and Gabe started to laugh.  
“Gabriel why are you laughing at me?”  
“I am laughing dear brother because you went from the saddest face I have ever seen to having a massive smile that is threatening to split your face in two. Trying to tell me it wasn’t about Deano. Like I said, you are hopeless.”  
“Just shut up and drive Gabe.” Cas said as he clambered into the back seat and slammed his door closed.  
  
They arrived at the Roadhouse about 15 minutes later. Gabe pulled into the small parking lot and managed to snag one of the few remaining spaces.  
Cas couldn’t see Baby anywhere. _I wonder where he is. I hope they are ok.  
_“I can’t see Deans car, do you think we should wait for him or just go in?”  
“I vote to go in. I don’t want to sit in the car.” Anna piped up.  
Gabe agreed, “I think we should go in too Cassie. I bet the rest of them know where Dean is.”  
“Ok,” Cas sighed, “you are both right. Lets go in.”  
  
They all got out of the car and headed into the Roadhouse. Cas trailed behind, he kept glancing around to see if he could spot Dean pulling up but no such luck.  
When Cas stepped inside the first thing he noticed was the mouth-watering aromas of food being cooked to perfection.  
_God it smells freaking amazing in here.  
_The second thing he noticed was the people. There were so many of them. Every single one of them seemed to be happy. The noise although loud wasn’t angry. He heard laughter and lots of it.  
_I like this place.  
   
_Over the din of the Roadhouse’s patrons he heard his name being called.  
“CAS. OVER HERE.”  
He turned to where the voice was coming from.  
_How is Dean here but Baby isn’t?  
_When Dean saw Cas looking at him his face exploded into a smile. He waved his arms frantically gesturing to where everyone was sitting.  
“Um, I think they are over there.” Cas pointed towards Dean, trying not to laugh.  
They made their way over to find that Jo had gotten her mum to save them the biggest table in there. It had just enough space for everyone to sit and Cas was pleased to see that Dean had saved the space next to him.  
“Sit here Cas.” Dean said as he patted the seat next to him.  
Cas slid into the space, his knee knocking into Deans. “Hello Dean.”  
“Hey Cas. Did you guys have any trouble finding the place?”  
“Oh, no, your directions were perfect thank you Dean.”  
  
“Your directions were perfect thank you Dean.” Lisa mumbled in a mocking tone.  
“Shut up Lisa.” Charlie scolded her and a couple of the gang giggled. Dean ignored the exchange, his focus entirely on Cas.  
  
“So what do you think?” Dean asked.  
“I like it Dean. It smells really good in here. Can we order? I am starving.”  
“Hell yeh.” Benny and Jo said together.  
“MA! Can we get some menus?” Jo shouted.  
“Joanna Beth Harvelle do not holler at me girly. Get up off your lazy ass and get the menus yourself. I am busy.”  
Jo stood and went to fetch the menus, her head hanging low.  
Benny started to laugh heartily, “Way to go Ellen.” He chortled.  
“Benjamin Lafitte what did you just call me?”  
“Um, Ellen, sorry Mrs Harvelle.”  
“That’s better. I swear you kids get worse every time I see you.”  
  
Jo dropped the menus on the table, “I’ll be back in a minute. I am just gonna go and see Ash.”  
Cas watched her walk through the swing door into what he assumed was the kitchen.  
“Who is Ash?” he asked Dean.  
“He is one of our oldest friends, but he pretty much never leaves the Roadhouse. He can grill a mean burger, and when he isn’t working in the kitchen he is doing god knows what on his computers. He rents the back room off Ellen and Bobby.”  
“Ok cool,” Cas didn’t feel the need to ask anything else about Ash, “what do you think I should eat?” he gestured at the menu he had picked up off the table.  
Dean turned his whole body to face Cas and rubbed his hands together, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He moved his hand to rest on Cas’ back and leaned in close like he was about to share some huge secret that was for Cas’ ears only.  
“Anything you want,” Deans breath ghosted over the skin on Cas’ neck and he had to suppress the shudder it caused. At that moment Cas was afraid that if he was to turn his head enough to look at Dean he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from closing the distance between their lips, but then Dean broke the spell he had placed Cas under.  
“Seriously everything here is really good, however I am partial to the bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon of course, and I have nothing bad to say about the cookies and cream milkshakes.”  
Cas took a few seconds to try and compose himself before he answered, not an easy feat when Dean was still leaning in towards him and all of Cas’ synapses were firing at once, “Hmm, then that is what I will have. Thank you Dean.” Cas smiled as he closed the menu.  
“Yeh?”  
“Yes Dean. I trust your judgement.”  
“Cool.” The smile that spread across Dean’s face made him look even more beautiful, his eyes shining brightly as he moved back into his own space and looked at Cas.  
_Jesus, this is going to be the end of me. I hope I get to try this damn cheeseburger before I die. It had better be really fucking good if it is going to be my last meal.  
  
_Cas turned back to the rest of the gang, hoping for some kind of a distraction from the warmth that spread throughout his body and the graze of Deans thigh against his own as Dean shifted in his seat. He was glad to see that nobody seemed to have noticed whatever it was that had just happened between the two of them.  
He focussed his attention on the squabbles breaking out over the food they were all ordering and he couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up when he heard his brother exclaim that you could eat pancakes for dinner.  
_Trust Gabe_ he thought shaking his head, the guy had the biggest sweet tooth out of anybody Cas had ever known.  
He was trying so hard to not focus on Dean that he nearly jumped out of his skin when Jo came back and slapped her palms down on the end of the table, he was definitely not able to stop the strained squeal that worked its way past his lips.  
He felt Deans hand rest on his back and he was sure it was meant to be comforting but all it caused was a rapid rush of heat and this time he wasn’t able to suppress the shudder that ran through his body. _Shit.  
_Dean rapidly removed his hand, a look of hurt passed across his features so quickly that it wouldn’t have been noticed by anyone not paying very close attention, Cas however was paying very close attention and now he felt like an ass.  
“Sorry Dean, Jo just surprised me.” Cas looked sheepishly at his own hands fidgeting on the table top, before hazarding a glance in Deans direction.  
“No worries Cas. It’s fine.” Dean didn’t look at Cas as he spoke, his attention instead focussed on the menu he held in his hand.  
  
“You taking our orders Jo?”  
“Unfortunately yes. Ma is swamped, so it’s my job now.”  
“Cool, so can me and Cas get a bacon cheeseburger, extra bacon, and a c&c milkshake each please?”  
“Sure Dean.” Jo scribbled the order down and took the menu Dean was holding before working her way around the rest of the table. She headed off to the kitchen after everyone had ordered.  
  
“Dean?”  
“What’s up Cas?”  
“Thanks for placing my order.”  
Dean turned towards Cas, “No problem pal.”  
The silence stretched between them and Cas wasn’t sure what to do. He felt like he had really upset Dean, but he didn’t know why, and he didn’t know how to make it better. He was still lost in his own thoughts when Jo came back with their drinks. She placed the drinks down, working her way around the table.  
“Thank you Jo.” Cas said when she got back up to where he and Dean were sitting.  
“You’re welcome Castiel. Could you do me a favour?”  
Cas looked at her questioningly, “Hmm?”  
“Teach this one some manners!” she said as she slapped the back of Deans head with her notepad.  
“Ow, what was that for Jo?”  
“Not saying thank you for your damn drink you Neanderthal.”  
“I am not a Neander…” Jo levelled him with a look that would have made her Ma proud, “Ok, ok. Sorry. Thank you Jo.”  
Cas snickered at the interaction but quickly dipped his head when Dean turned to glare at him.  
He reached for his milkshake, not daring to look at Dean. Taking the straw between his lips he felt more than heard a quite intake of breath from next to him, his thigh being bumped as Dean shifted in his seat.  
He sucked on the straw, and then sucked harder. _Damn this is thick.  
_When the creamy liquid eventually hit his tongue he couldn’t stop the muffled groaning sound he made. _Damn this is good.  
_He turned towards Dean to thank him for his recommendation and found that he wasn’t entirely prepared for the sight that greeted him. Dean was all but staring at him, his eyes laser focussed on Cas’ mouth, pupils blown wide, there was barely a sliver of green left.  
“Dean,” he whispered, “Is everything ok?”  
Dean ducked his head, and Cas watched him as his hands slid under the table to press down hard against his thighs. When Dean looked up again his eyes were almost back to normal, but the flush on his cheeks was brighter than ever.  
“Dean?” Cas repeated.  
“Fuck, yeh Cas, everything is fine. I promise.” Deans voice was huskier than usual, and Cas wasn’t sure if he fully believed that everything was fine like Dean said, but he didn’t have time to ruminate on it as Jo returned once again to deliver their food.  
  
The smell was delicious and almost overpowering.  
_If this burger is anywhere near as good as the milkshake I am going to need to join a gym pretty damn soon.  
_He picked his burger up, and attempted to flatten it a little with his fingers. It was overflowing with bacon and cheese, and the juices from the meat dripped down his fingers. Throwing caution to the wind he took the biggest bite he could comfortably manage. The flavours exploded over his tongue.  
_Shit, this is the best thing I have ever tasted. Dear God. Thank you Ash!!  
_What came out of his mouth was a little less polite though, “Hhnnngghh, fuuuck” he sighed. His eyes closed as he sucked the juices from his fingers. He felt the table being jolted and his eyes sprang back open.  
Dean mumbled, “Uh, I, I will be right back, sorry” before he dashed off towards the restrooms.  
He heard Gabe snicker, “Jesus Cassie. You are putting a hell of a show on over there.”  
A couple of the other guys around the table laughed at Gabes comment.  
“Maybe we should leave you alone with your burger if it is that good.”  
Cas flipped him off, and went straight back for another bite of his burger, it really was that good.  
  
*******  
  
The door slammed behind him as Dean stumbled into the restroom. He ducked his head down to see if anyone was in any of the stalls and he was relieved to note that he was alone. He let out a tortured whimper as he gripped the edge of the sink.  
“Fucking hell. Fuck. What the fuck was that?” He glared at his reflection in the cracked and dirty mirror. “Damn it Dean, get a fucking grip would you” he continued to grumble at himself. He bent over and gripped his thighs hard, trying his very best to will away the completely inappropriate boner he had popped, and the impending panic attack that was about to hit him like a freight train. Hearing voices outside the door he slipped into one of the stalls and locked it behind him. His head resting against the door he forced himself to breathe. _In – one, two, three. Out – one, two, three._ He stayed in that same position, until he heard the guys who had come in leave again and the voices outside the door had subsided. Gingerly he walked back to the sink and splashed some cold water on his face.  
_Come on, you need to get back out there. You are ok. Everything is fine.  
_He looked at his reflection one last time, smoothing his clothes down, making sure nothing was out of place and that he looked normal. Taking one last deep breath he headed back to the table.  
  
*******  
  
When Dean returned a few minutes later Cas had almost finished and he was just picking through his fries. He smiled as Dean sat back down and bumped his shoulder into him, “Thank you Dean. You were right, that burger was amazing.”  
Dean gave a small choked out laugh, “You’re welcome Cas. I, um, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”  
“Me too Dean.”  
“Yeh, right, good.”  
Dean ducked his head back down and picked up his own neglected burger. Cas watched him for a few seconds as he started to eat in silence. Realising it was rude to stare though he turned his attention back to the rest of the table. He found he was quite happy to just sit and listen to them all talking. He could get used to this.  
He had always felt like he didn’t really fit in anywhere, not his family, well except for Gabe and Anna; not the places they lived; he never really had any friends. He felt like it might all be changing now. Charlie was definitely his friend, and he hoped that Dean was too, and everyone else was great, he finally felt like things were slotting into place. He felt like he had come home. He smiled to himself at the thought.  
  
“Right, who wants dessert?” Dean piped up from beside him. There was a resounding chorus of “ME” from around the table.  
Cas wasn’t sure he could eat another thing, so when Jo came to take his order he just shook his head saying he couldn’t manage a whole dessert after that burger.  
She shrugged and moved on to Dean, “Pie right? I think there is a slice left” she asked him.  
“You know it Jo” Dean smiled at her and then beckoned her down to him. He whispered something to her and the look of utter surprise that crossed her features made him laugh.  
Cas couldn’t say he wasn’t intrigued but if Dean had wanted everyone to know he wouldn’t have whispered it. Jo did another double take at Dean before she headed back to the kitchen. A few minutes later she came back with all their desserts. She placed Deans pie in front of him, along with two forks.  
  
“Cas?” Dean said as he tapped their knees together.  
“Hmm? What’s up Dean?”  
“Would you like to share my pie with me?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.  
“DEAN” multiple shouts rang out from around the table making Cas jump.  
“Dean! Am I seeing things?” Sam exclaimed, “Are you really offering to share pie?”  
“What? I can share pie. It’s no big deal Sammy.” Dean said with a shrug.  
Sam balked at him, “Sure, right, whatever you say Dean. I have never in my life seen you share pie, but whatever.”  
“He is right brother. You never share pie. In fact you are almost as possessive over pie as you are over that car of yours.” Benny chimed in.  
“Alright, alright, so I don’t share pie, so sue me.” Dean conceded before he turned once again towards Cas and held the second fork out to him.  
“Are you sure Dean? It seems to me like you are pretty passionate about pie. I wouldn’t want to deprive you.”  
“I wouldn’t have offered if it bothered me Cas, besides, I want you to try the pie. It is as good as the burgers, I promise.  
Cas reached out and took the fork from Dean, “Ok, thank you. I would love to share your pie.”  
Dean slid the plate in between them and held his hand out gesturing for Cas to take the first bite. Cas pierced the pie with his fork and lifted the piece to his mouth, his lips wrapped around the pie and he pulled it off the fork. He chewed slowly savouring the wonderful flavour of spiced apples that exploded across his taste buds. He swallowed and looked up to see Dean watching him with a dopey grin plastered on his face. “So what do you think?”  
“Eh, it’s ok,” he had to stifle his laughter at the look on Deans face, he looked utterly heartbroken, “I am kidding Dean. It is really, really good. Thank you for sharing it with me.”  
Dean breathed out quickly, “Thank god. I was worried that we couldn’t be friends anymore for a second then.”  
Cas watched him break off a huge chunk of pie and shove it into his mouth, smiling as he chewed. “Dean, you are gross, has anyone ever told you that before?” he said as he laughed at the sight unfolding in front of him.  
Thankfully Dean swallowed before replying, “Yeh, Sammy has mentioned it once or twice. I think I am adorable though” he said with a shrug.  
They finished the pie, taking it in turns, Cas made sure that Dean got most of it though. He wasn’t sure why Dean had offered to share it, but by the reactions from the rest of the gang he also wasn’t sure he wanted to dwell on it, he didn’t want to get his hopes up.  
_Come on Cas, you can be “just friends” with him, even if he is the most endearing, alluring guy you have ever known. You can do it buddy. Don’t fuck this up by catching feelings.  
_He sighed quietly to himself. _I think it might be a little late for that.  
  
_They stayed at the Roadhouse for a little while longer, chatting amongst themselves. Sam, Kevin, and Jess had all left after dessert. Anna started yawning a little while later and Gabe declared that it was time for them to head home, “You coming Cassie?”  
Dean jumped straight in not giving Cas a chance to answer, “I will drop him off Gabe. You guys get going.” He quickly glanced at Cas, “If that’s ok with you of course?” he implored.  
“Well we did make a deal.”  
Dean clapped his hands together, “That we did Cas. That we did.”  
Cas turned to Gabe and told him to head on home and he would be back later. Gabe clapped him on the shoulder and then waved to the rest of the table before heading off with Anna.  
  
Everyone else slowly started to drift off too. Jo said she was going to stick around and help her ma close up once everyone was gone.  
Michael announced that he was ready to go which made Lisa grumble, “Hey Dean, can I get a lift with you please?” she asked.  
“Sorry Lisa, I’m taking Cas, and your house is out of the way. Mikey is much closer to you than I am.”  
Huffing out of annoyance she snapped at him, “Fine, whatever. Come on Michael. I am done.” She stalked out of the building, slamming the door behind her.  
Cas heard Ellen shout, “What the hell missy?” he hid his smile, even as everyone else laughed.  
“Well, I guess I should go after her” Michael sighed, he saluted a goodbye towards everyone who was left.  
“Night Castiel, I hope you had a good day today.”  
“Thanks Michael, I did.” Cas flashed a genuine smile at him.  
He gripped Deans shoulder as he walked past him and teasingly said loud enough for Cas to hear, “You take care of him you hear, I can make a body disappear if I need to.”  
“Scouts honor Mikey. I will take good care of Cas.”  
“Good. Night guys.” He gave one last wave to the table before he headed outside to find Lisa.  
  
Benny, and Charlie decided they were ready to go not long after. Meg always up for staying out grumbled a little, but when Cas announced he was about ready to go too she conceded to leaving and they all walked to Benny’s car together.  
Charlie wrapped Cas in a massive hug, “I am glad you had a good time today Cas.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before releasing her hold on him.  
She turned to Dean and tapped her palm against his cheek, “See you tomorrow Deanna?”  
“You know it Charles,” Dean teased, a sly grin on his face, “Benny, Meg, see you guys on Monday.”  
  
Waving goodbye to them Dean turned to Cas, “Come on then Cas, let’s get you home.”  
“Um, about that Dean...” Cas said as he fell into step next to Dean, “where is Baby?”  
“There was no space out front to park her when I got here so she is round the back with Ash’s Camper.” Dean shrugged.  
“Ah, ok. Makes sense. Lead the way then.”  
  
They sat in a reasonably comfortable silence for the start of their drive back to Cas’ house. Cas was getting exhausted and he felt so calm sitting next to Dean as his mind started to slow down. He had had a great day all in all. He was just ready to collapse into his bed. He closed his eyes and tilted his head against the back of the seat.  
Not really asleep, but not quite awake either he was surprised when Dean spoke his name. He turned his head towards him and cracked his eyes open. Dean was concentrating on the road but Cas could see he had something on his mind. “What’s wrong Dean?” he said quietly.  
“I just, I wanted to make sure everything was ok?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, I just wanted to be sure that you had had a nice day, and I uh, well I guess I wanted to, oh it doesn’t matter.”  
Cas was fully awake now, he sat up and turned his body towards Dean, “Come on Dean, something is on your mind, what is it?”  
“It’s nothing really, just earlier, well when we got to the arcade and you got drinks for us you seemed pissed, or upset, or something when you got back to the table, and well I wondered if I had done something to upset you?”  
Cas sighed deeply, “You didn’t do anything Dean. I am sorry if my behaviour made you feel like you had done something.”  
“It’s fine Cas, I am glad I hadn’t done anything, but something had happened, what was it?”  
“I don’t really know any of you that well Dean, and I struggle with social cues sometimes, I also struggle to make friends. I have mentioned this to you.”  
“Hmm, yeh you have said as much to me, where is this heading?” worry was starting to weave its way through Deans voice.  
“Well, and I don’t want you to be upset by this or anything but, I don’t think Lisa likes me.”  
Deans laugh caused Cas to glare at him.  
“Sorry Cas, I don’t mean to laugh, really I don’t, but Lisa doesn’t fucking like anyone. I mean don’t get me wrong, she can be nice but she is tough to get along with. I don’t think she really likes anyone who was there today.”  
“She likes you Dean.”  
“Yeh, well…”  
“No Dean, she warned me off you when I was waiting for the drinks.”  
“She did what?” Dean spluttered.  
“She told me that you and her would be dating soon and that you wouldn’t have time for someone like me then.”  
“Fucking hell Cas. She can be such a bitch. You are my friend!” Dean said with fervour, “Right? We are friends right? I’m not reading this wrong am I?”  
“No Dean, I would like to be friends with you.”  
“Ok good,” he exhaled deeply, “Just ignore Lisa. She doesn’t have a clue what she is on about Cas. As for dating her, that is definitely not going to be happening. So don’t worry ok?”  
“Ok Dean. I just, I don’t want to start causing any trouble.”  
“You aren’t causing trouble Cas. I like you. You are fun to hang out with.”  
Cas smiled at the honesty he heard in Deans voice, “Thank you Dean. I like you too. It is nice to have a friend.”  
“We good then?”  
“Yes Dean. We are good.”  
“Great. I am glad to hear it.”  
  
It didn’t take long for them to reach Cas’ house and when they got there Dean instantly hopped out of the car and went to open Cas’ door for him.  
“Uh Dean, I could have opened the door myself you know?”  
Dean blushed brightly and ducked his head, “Force of habit, sorry” he chuckled.  
“It’s fine Dean, thanks and, you know, thank you for today too. I had a great time.”  
They both stood awkwardly for a few seconds before Dean reached out and pulled Cas into a hug. Cas froze for a second before hugging Dean back. Dean breathed in deeply before pulling away a second later and slapping Cas on the back, “Uh well, see you Monday?” he said as he circled back round to the driver’s side.  
“Yes Dean. See you Monday. Thanks again.”  
“Night Cas.”  
“Goodnight Dean.”  
Cas watched as Dean got in his car and pulled away. He raised his hand in a wave before he turned towards his house.  
_Did he just smell me? I think Dean just smelled me. Weird.  
_He shook his head as he walked to his front door and then unlocked it quietly. He crept up to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth before heading to his room and locking his door behind him. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled under his covers. Sleep took a long time to consume him, his mind was full of green eyes and freckles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to try to update every Sunday but I can't make any promises. I will see how it goes for a while and update my schedule if need be.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Comments and Kudos are more than welcome!!


	3. Things that just won't heal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam get some bad news, and Cas inadvertently gets stuck in the cross fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is gonna be some angst is this chapter. Sorry folks.
> 
> Again I am beta'ing this myself so I am sorry if there are any glaring errors. I hope you can forgive me if that happens.

**Things that just won’t heal.**  
  
As the weeks drew on and summer started to turn to fall, Cas and Deans friendship grew. They found themselves spending more and more time together. Whether that be in the group as a whole or simply hanging out with each other.  
  
Dean enjoyed Cas’ company a lot. He thought that Cas was a bit of an oddball occasionally but that was just one of the many things that he found endearing about him.  
He liked that he was able to introduce Cas to a lot of pop culture and he definitely did not dwell on how happy it made him to see Cas’ face light up when they discovered something he loved. It wasn’t like he went out of his way to make Cas smile or anything, it was just a bonus if he happened to be the one that elicited that kind of a reaction from him.  
  
He was happy to class himself as Cas’ friend, his buddy, his pal. Nothing more than that, or at least that was what he kept telling himself.  
It certainly didn’t mean anything when he felt those pesky butterflies brewing up a storm in anticipation of seeing his friends face, or that when he did see Cas he felt like he was finally where he belonged, or that since meeting Cas he hadn’t really thought about wanting to hang around with anyone else be they male or female, and those damned dreams that he had started having about his buddy really didn’t mean anything they were just brought on by his raging hormones; being a teenager sucked sometimes.  
  
No those weren’t the kind of things Dean spent too long thinking about. If he had he might have realised his feelings for Cas weren’t strictly platonic anymore.  
  
*******  
  
A shrill ringing slowly broke through the very pleasant dream that Dean had been having. He rolled to his front and shoved his pillow over his head. The ringing kept going.  
“SAMMY ANSWER THE PHONE” he cried out, his voice thick from sleep.  
The ringing stopped abruptly.  
_God, at last._ _Just five more minutes._  
His mind felt foggy and sleep had just started to pull him back under when the phone rang again.  
  
“Shit Sam answer the goddamn phone wouldya.”  
  
Sitting up he swung his legs over the side of his bed and rubbed his hands over his face.  
_Where the hell is Sam?_  
He stood, bones creaking as he stretched then made his way down to the kitchen where he snatched the phone off the hook, “ ‘Lo?”  
   
_“Dean? Where the hell have you been boy? I’ve been ringing you for the better part of an hour.”_  
  
Dean frowned at the gruff voice coming through the phone line, “Bobby? What time is it? Why are you calling?”  
  
_“It’s just after midday Dean.”_  
  
“Shit, midd…”  
  
_“Language boy.”_  
  
“Sorry Bobby. I must have overslept. So, uh, why are you calling?”  
  
_“I had a visitor today. John dropped by.”_  
  
“Dad? Really? I haven’t seen him.”  
  
_“He’s gone again. He dropped by to say he won’t be coming back. No good useless son of a bitch.”_  
  
“What do you mean he won’t be back Bobby?”  
  
_“Exactly what it sounds like ya knucklehead. He ain’t comin’ back. Just upped and gone. So you and Sam are gonna come and live with us.”_  
  
There was a loud crash as Dean dropped to the floor and the phone fell from his hand.  
  
_“Dean? Dean, are you there? You alright boy?”_  
  
He reached for the phone, his hands shaking with something akin to anger or maybe fear. _He is really gone this time. FUCK. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.  
  
“Dean wouldya answer me please.”_  
  
“Yeh Bobby. I’m here” he sighed, his voice so quiet in the deafening silence of the kitchen, “sorry, I dropped the phone. I’m fine though. So it finally happened heh. The bastard finally abandoned us.”  
  
_“I’m sorry Dean. I know he is your father but that man has no idea what it means to be a dad. He doesn’t deserve either of you boys.”  
_  
Dean laughed bitterly, “Yeh. Thanks Bobby. So uh, what now?”  
  
_“Well me and Ellen were thinking that you probably need some time to pack your stuff up, and some help, so how about we come round today and get you started?”_  
  
“Thanks Bobby but Sammy ain’t here. I dunno where he is and I am supposed to be seeing Cas later. I can get started packing and when Sammy is back, well, I. God Bobby what am I gonna tell Sam?” choking on his words Dean did his best to not break down right there and then.  
  
_“The only thing you can tell him is the truth Dean. It’s gonna hurt. But he’s a tough kid, he will be fine. It isn’t like John was ever a dad to him that has always fallen on your shoulders Dean. We shoulda had you move in here years ago.”_  
  
Dean heard the hurt in Bobby’s voice, “It ain’t your fault Bobby. You guys have always done good by me and Sammy. I’ll get things sorted. When do we need to be ready by?”  
  
_“As soon as you want to be Dean. It don’t matter to us. You could move in today if you wanted. Just let me know what you wanna do and we’ll make it happen ok?”_  
  
“Thanks Bobby. I ought to go and get started then I guess. I’ll ring you when I have spoken to Sammy. Thanks again. For everything. I mean it Bobby, you’re more of a dad to us than John Winchester ever was.”  
  
_“Family don’t end with blood boy. You just remember that. I’ll speak to you later.”_  
  
“Thanks. Bye Bobby.” Dean fumbled with the phone, blindly reaching up and behind himself to put it back in its cradle, eventually he gave up and just let it dangle.  
  
The drone of a call having been ended hummed out in the quiet kitchen. He sat on the cold floor for a long time. His head hurt and his throat was dry but mostly he just felt numb. First his Mom and now this.  
  
_God. FUCK. I must be, shit, nothing, I am nothing. Not even worth him coming and giving me a shitty excuse to my face.  
  
_He slowly stood on shaking legs, pins and needles flooding through him as the blood started to flow again. He made his way to the sink and grabbed a glass before filling it with tepid water. He took a sip and the floodgates opened, tears streaked down his face.  
Letting out a guttural cry he flung the glass against the wall where it shattered into a million tiny pieces, it felt like each piece of glass was mocking him as his fragile heart also shattered.  
  
“ARRRGGHH FUUCCKKKKKK”  
  
He slumped back to the floor and cradled his head in his arms. Sobs wracked his body. Fatigue eventually took over and he fell into a restless slumber, curled in the foetal position he laid there for what felt like forever.  
  
“Dean?” he felt a warm, gentle weight as it rested on his shoulder, “Dean, please, are you ok?”  
  
He shifted his head slightly to look up, “Cas? What are you doing here?”  
  
“You were supposed to come and pi…”  
  
Dean gasped, “Shit Cas. I’m so sorry.” He held his head in his hands again.  
   
_Dammit Dean, don’t break down now. Not in front of Cas. He doesn’t need to know how much of a fuck up you are too.  
  
_He took a couple of deep breaths as he eased himself into a sitting position.  
  
“Dean what’s happened?”  
  
“How did you get here Cas? How did you get in?”  
  
Cas sighed quietly, “Gabe dropped me off. I had spent nearly an hour ringing you and got an engaged tone each and every time I tried. I was worried Dean. Gabe said he would bring me if it would stop me from panicking,” he choked off a shy laugh before continuing, “and you hide the spare key under that broken plant pot around the side of the house.”  
  
“Oh yeh, heh, I had forgotten that you knew that. I am sorry I forgot about you Cas. I just. Ugh. I am a mess.”  
  
Cas stood in front of him and held his hands out, “Come on, up you get.” Cas grunted as he hauled Dean’s weight off the floor, “Go and have a shower Dean. I’ll make you some coffee.”  
  
Dean held tight to Cas’ hands and pulled him in for a hug, “Thanks Cas” he sighed out, burying his head in the crook of Cas’ neck. He felt Cas’ arms encircle him and he relaxed into the pressure of having sturdiness wrapped around him for once in his godforsaken life, “Thanks.”  
  
“It’s ok Dean. I’m here. I’ve got you, always.”  
  
“Always?”  
  
“Yes Dean. Now come on. Go and shower. I will still be here when you come out.”  
  
Cas let his arms relax and Dean reluctantly pulled away. He looked at Cas through his red rimmed eyes and huffed out a soul weary breath, “Ok. Thanks. You’re the best Cas.”  
  
*******  
  
Cas let out a throaty chuckle as he grinned widely at Dean, causing a small smile to break out on Dean’s face. He reached up and span Dean around by his shoulders giving him a gentle shove towards the stairs. He watched Dean trudge forwards, only really just letting his mind notice that Dean had been wearing nothing but his boxers the whole time. A flush spread across his face and he rapidly turned his back to Dean.  
  
Hearing Deans feet move up the stairs he let himself relax again.  
  
_Shit. Dean was nearly naked. In my arms. Breathe Cas, just breathe.  
  
_He stood with his hands gripping the kitchen worktop to steady himself, his heart beating erratically in his chest.  
  
_Come on. Coffee. You can do that.  
  
_Setting the coffee on to brew he glanced around the kitchen and noticed the glass on the floor.  
  
_Oh Dean, what on earth happened?  
  
_He moved gingerly, not wanting to step on the shards spread across the floor and walked to the stairs. He grabbed a dustpan and brush from the cupboard there and went back to the kitchen to clear up the mess. Once he was sure he had cleaned all the glass up he wiped the floor down and left it to dry.  
  
Rifling through the fridge and the cabinets he found everything he needed to make some food for them both.  
He turned the little radio on. It was always tuned to their local classic rock station and he smiled as AC/DC’s ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ drifted through the tinny speakers. It was the song he had heard the first time he had ridden in Baby with Dean and it brought back good memories of that day.  
  
He sang along as he busied himself with cooking some bacon and eggs whilst another pan heated up. After mixing batter for pancakes he poured some into the preheated pan. He was lost in the sizzle of the cooking batter and he didn’t hear Dean traipsing back down the stairs.  
  
“Cas?”  
  
Almost jumping out of his skin he span around brandishing the spatula at the intruder, “Jesus Dean you scared me half to death.” He breathed out heavily, folding at his waist as he got his heartbeat back under control.  
  
Dean laughed lightly, “Sorry man. I didn’t mean to scare ya. What are ya doin’?”  
  
“What does it look like Dean? I’m making some breakfast, lunch, brunch?” he shrugged his shoulders, unsure what term to use, “I’m making food for us. I guessed you hadn’t eaten yet today and I thought you might be hungry? I shouldn’t have assumed. I’m sorry.” His head dropped down to his chest and he turned back to the pan to flip the pancake not wanting to burn it even if Dean wasn’t happy with him.  
  
“Hey Cas, no, that is great, really great. Thank you.”  
  
He turned back to face Dean and saw the sincerity in his eyes, “Yeh?” he sighed out shakily.  
  
“Yeh Cas. You are the best. What on earth did I do to deserve you?”  
  
Cas felt his cheeks heat up and he quickly turned away from Dean again, “The coffee is ready if you want to pour a couple of cups. I won’t be much longer with this now.”  
  
He heard Dean take two cups out of the cabinet and fill them with coffee before going to sit at the table. His chair squeaking against the floor as he sat down.  
  
Only once Dean was settled did Cas dare to turn and look at him again. He smiled at the look of contentment on Dean’s face, his eyes were closed and he was deeply breathing in the aroma from his drink. Cas took the opportunity to revel in Dean’s presence. He felt at ease around Dean and that was something he hadn’t felt for a long time, at least not around someone who wasn’t Gabe or Anna. He was still a little nervous about letting his guard down fully but for now he could enjoy the comfortable reassurance of friendship that Dean gave to him.  
  
He placed the final pancake on the plate next to the stove and went to sit down carrying that plate along with another that was full of crispy bacon and scrambled eggs. He set both plates in the centre of the table and then tapped Deans shoulder, “Dean, food’s ready.”  
  
“Hmm,” Dean opened his eyes, “Wow Cas. This looks awesome. Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome Dean. Eat up.” He smiled shyly, happy to see Dean smiling as he shovelled some bacon into his mouth.  
  
“Mmmm this is good Cas. You sure know how to make a guy feel better.”  
   
Feeling another wave of heat cross his face Cas ducked his head and concentrated on his food. He heard Dean chuckle slightly but didn’t look up. They sat in silence whilst they ate.  
  
Once they had finished eating Dean got up from the table and cleared the dishes away. He stood at the sink washing the dishes half-heartedly, his shoulders slumped forwards.  
  
“He is gone Cas.”  
  
“Who is? Sam? What do you mean Dean? He’s at the library with Kevin this morning.”  
  
Dean breathed out around a slightly hysterical laugh, “Thank fuck for that. I’d forgotten that he was going there today. But no I wasn’t on about Sam. My Dad, he uh, he’s gone. For good this time.”  
  
“What the hell?” Cas knew he sounded incredulous but he couldn’t stop the words from coming out.  
  
“Uncle Bobby rang earlier. Told me that John had turned up at his place and basically told him that he wouldn’t be coming back again. He didn’t even have the guts to come and see me and Sam, Cas. The bastard has just gone and abandoned us.”  
  
Dean’s voice was strained and Cas wanted to reach out to him to offer some comfort but he didn’t even dare to move from his chair. He knew enough to know that Dean didn’t speak about things like this lightly and he wanted to let him get it out before he shut down.  
  
“What am I gonna tell Sammy Cas? How do you even tell your kid brother that both his parents are now gone? One of them by choice no less.”  
  
Cas knew that Deans Mother had passed away when he was just a child and Sam was only a baby but he had never pressed to know what exactly had happened. If Dean wanted him to know then he would tell him eventually.  
  
Dean continued to speak his back still turned towards Cas, “He was never the best Father, not after the fire and what happened to Mom. But h-he was s-still, he was still our Dad ya know? I just thought that maybe one day things would get better, but they never did. He dragged us all over the place when we were younger. We would live out of Baby and sleep in motels when he could afford them. We never stayed in one place for long. I don’t even understand what he was looking for, what he is still looking for.”  
  
A heavy silence descended between them. Cas sat watching as Dean picked up another plate and began to wash it. He held his tongue until it felt like the moment had stretched into eternity and he could no longer sit in silence.  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess one day Bobby knocked some sense into him or something. Got him set up in a job here, put in a good word for him maybe, god knows why. He helped him rent this place. But now we have to leave it. God Cas this is the only home I’ve had since I was 4 and now I have to leave, and my Mom is gone and she ain’t ever comin’ back, and my Dad, worthless bastard gone of his own volition. I’m no good Cas. I mean I can’t be, everyone fucking leaves me. I was a child Cas and he would leave me to take care of my baby brother on the regular. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. We had no money. I would, gah, I would have to steal food just to make sure Sammy had something to eat. What kind of a way is that for a kid to live Cas?”  
  
Cas watched as Dean physically curled in on himself. All of the hurt, and anger, and fear from his past crashing over him.  
  
“Where will you go Dean?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“You said you have to leave, where will you go?”  
  
“Oh, Bobby’s place. He has space enough for me and Sam.”  
  
“Ok,” Cas let out a sigh of relief, “Ok, that’s good. Maybe that is why Bobby tried to help your Dad? So he could watch over you and Sam? Make sure you were alright. I suppose he couldn’t do that if you were constantly on the move.”  
  
“Yeh, I think you might be right. Bobby has always been there for us but he seemed to be happier when he knew we were close by.”  
  
“What can I do to help Dean?”  
  
“What d’ya mean?”  
  
“Well, I don’t know, can I help box stuff up? Do you want me to be here when you tell Sam? Whatever you need Dean, just tell me and I will do it.”  
  
“Can you, uh. Could I. Oh it doesn’t matter.” Cas heard the defeat in Deans voice and before he even knew what he was doing he was on his feet and walking across the kitchen to Dean.  
  
_What are you doing? You gotta stop Cas, he isn’t going to take kindly to this. Please stop.  
  
_Cas’ feet ignored the war raging inside his head and as he reached Dean he placed his hand solidly on Deans shoulder forcing him to finally turn towards Cas.  
He pulled Dean towards him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions to hug in with Dean being slightly taller than him but it would suffice. Cas felt a wave of terror wash over him as Dean’s body immediately tensed but it passed in an instant when Dean relaxed and pushed himself further into the embrace.  
Neither of them said anything for a minute. Cas just wanted to give Dean something sturdy and solid, to let him know that he was there and would be there no matter what. He slowly rubbed between Dean’s shoulder blades feeling the tension start to seep out of his body.  
He felt his shirt move as Dean grabbed it, balling it up in tight fists at his side, anchoring himself to Cas. Dean’s head came to rest on Cas’ shoulder and Cas had to fight his own stupid body as it started to react to the closeness.  
He took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself and Dean started to follow along. After what seemed like an eternity Dean moved his head of Cas’ shoulder and pulled back. Cas looked into his eyes and was relieved to see some peace there. He stepped away from the embrace to give Dean some space.  
  
“Thanks Cas.”  
  
“You’re welcome Dean. Do you feel better now?”  
  
“Heh, yeh a little bit. Not gonna have a break down now. Thanks buddy.”  
  
Cas smiled brightly, “What now? Can I help with anything?”  
  
“I dunno Cas. I don’t even know where to start to be honest,” Dean slumped down into one of the chairs, sighing as he sat, “I don’t even think we have any boxes or anything. I know we don’t have that much stuff and the bigger stuff like the tv we can’t take with us cause Bobby don’t have the room for them but… god I am so angry Cas. I can’t believe he would do this.” He scrubbed his hands over his face and Cas reached out settling his hand on Dean’s shoulder again.  
  
“I can help with that at least. We still have most of the boxes from our move. We could go and pick them up and I can help you start to pack your stuff up and then I can either stay to help when Sam gets home, or I can head home then if you prefer. I mean it Dean, whatever you need. I am here with you. I will help however I can.”  
  
Dean reached up and gently placed his hand over Cas’, “Thanks Cas. You are the best friend I have ever had. I dunno what I would do without you.”  
  
Cas chuckled lowly, “I am sure you would survive and thrive Dean. You are strong. You can do anything you put your mind to.”  
  
  
*******  
  
Dean followed Cas as he pushed open his front door and walked into his house. Over the short time that he had known Cas he had been to his house a handful of times. It always floored him how homely it was. It felt comfortable and lived in even though they hadn’t been in it for very long. Books were scattered over all surfaces. The happy sound of Gabe and Anna laughing together. More often than not it also smelled just like a bakery and that always made Dean smile. It kind of always felt like coming home to him and he tried his utmost to not dwell on that fact, even more so now than at other times.  
  
_One day he is gonna realise what a fuck up you actually are Dean and then he is gonna leave like every other person in your godforsaken life has. DO NOT GET ATTACHED.  
_He repeated that mantra over and over in his head but some days Cas made him feel like safety and happiness could actually be something he could have and not just a pipe dream.  
  
“Yo Cassie, back so soon? Everything ok with Deano?”  
A small smile graced Dean’s face when he heard Gabe shouting from the kitchen.  
  
Cas turned to smile at him before he answered Gabe, “Yes everything’s fine Gabe. We’ve just come to pick up some of those empty boxes we still have lying around.”  
  
“Oh,” Gabe poked his head around the door, “Hey Dean. You ok?”  
  
“Just peachy thanks Gabe.” He tried his best not to be a sarcastic asshole but he was feeling so tired and beaten down that he couldn’t help snapping. He sighed and hung his head when Gabe frowned at him. “Sorry Gabe, it has just been a really tough morning. I am fine though.”  
  
“Ok dude. No harm done.”  
  
Cas had disappeared down the hallway but he came walking back towards Dean with an armful of boxes, “Do you think this is enough? We have more if you think you will need them.”  
  
“Uh, probably best to take a few more just in case. Where are they? I’ll grab some.”  
  
“There’s a bunch of them in the closet at the end of the hall. If that isn’t enough then I think there are more in the basement.”  
  
“Heh right, the closet.” Unable to hold the nervous chuckle and waver to his voice in, he felt heat spreading through his body.  
   
“What’s funny Dean?” Cas asked tilting his head.  
  
He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced at Cas’ open, friendly face. “Oh. Um. Nothing really. I’ll just, uh, be in the closet getting some boxes then I guess.”  
  
He patted Cas’ shoulder as he walked past him and he heard Gabe ask Cas if he was ok before he was too far away to make out what was said.  
He reached up to tug on the pull string that turned the little overhead light in the tiny closet on. He looked around seeing the broken down boxes stacked in a pile on the floor but the rest of the closet was almost full of unopened boxes on the shelves. Each of them labelled with their contents. Kitchen Utensils, Bathroom Supplies, Canvases/Paints, Books, etc. Nothing that would seem out of place, but then he noticed one with a name on it instead of a description, it simply said - JIMMY!!  
   
_Huh that’s weird, who is Jimmy?_ He thought as he reached out to touch the box. Stopping himself before he could open the box he sighed and resolved to ask Cas about it at some point in the future. He bent down and grabbed a bunch of the boxes. He tucked them under one arm so he could turn the light off and close the door behind him. He walked back to the kitchen to find Cas and Gabe deep in conversation, their voices hushed as they leaned in towards each other.  
  
“Cas? You ready?”  
  
Cas and Gabe sprang away from each other and Cas turned to face Dean, a look of worry and maybe guilt flitted across his features before his face softened, “I’m ready whenever you are Dean.”  
  
“Cool. Let’s get going then. I’d like to get home before Sammy does.” He hid his confusion over how Cas was acting as he started walking to the front door, “Catch you later Gabe.”  
  
“See ya later Deano.” He heard Gabe shout as he walked out of the house and down the path towards Baby.  
  
He fumbled with his keys for a minute before dumping the boxes on the grass so he could unlock and pop the trunk. He picked the discarded boxes up and dropped them into the trunk and then sat on the curb waiting for Cas. He heard the door close behind him and Cas’ footsteps get louder as they got closer. He slowly stood up and brushed his hands down the front of his jeans. He smiled at Cas as he watched him dump his pile of boxes into Baby too.  
  
“You sure this will be enough?”  
  
“Yeh Cas thanks. Should be plenty.” He assured Cas as he closed the trunk.  
   
“And, uh, are you sure you want me to come back with you to help?” Cas glanced down at his feet, the nerves he had were clear in his voice.  
  
“God yes Cas. I can’t even tell you how grateful I am for all your help.”  
  
“Oh. Ok. Great. Good. Let’s go then.” He looked up and Dean was relieved to see a shy grin on his face and his bright eyes beaming.  
  
They climbed back into Baby and Dean started her up. He glanced in his mirrors before pulling away and heading back to the house that was now no longer his home.  
  
  
  
“Dean, is there some more parcel tape somewhere? I’ve run out”  
  
“Ithin raw”  
  
“Uh what?”  
  
Dean heard Cas guffaw and the pen he had in his mouth tumbled onto the floor as he laughed himself. He backed out of the pantry and said again “Kitchen drawer.”  
  
Cas laughed again, his head almost to his knees.  
  
“What’re ya laughin’ at Cas?”  
  
“I d-don’t know. I,” Cas took a giant gulp of air and doubled over again.  
  
“Jeez dude you’re gonna give yourself a hernia or something.”  
  
Cas’ laughter was contagious and before he knew it he was also doubled over trying to suck in air as the giggles took over him.  
  
It felt to Dean like he laughed for a whole lifetime. His stomach ached and his head was spinning by the time he stopped. “It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard. Please don’t ever change.”  
He had slid down the door of the pantry and was sprawled on the floor, eyes closed, clutching at his aching sides, “God Cas, thank you. I needed that.”  
  
A shadow blocked the light that shone through his eyelids and he opened his eyes to Cas reaching his hands out to pull him off the floor, “Huh, déjà vu.”  
  
“Hmm? What’s that Dean?”  
  
“Just this is the second time you’ve pulled me up off the floor today.”  
Cas smiled at him as he steadied himself, mere inches separating them. He wrapped his arms around Cas and squeezed tightly for a second before pulling back, “Thanks again Cas. I am grateful you are here today.”  
  
“I will always be here for you Dean.”  
  
Dean looked into Cas’ eyes. They were wide open and he could see no hint of a lie in them. He allowed himself to think for a fleeting moment that maybe good things do happen and he could have some kind of happiness in his future. But the moment passed as all moments do, and he shoved his feelings back down inside, locking them up tight where no one can get at them. He ran his hands down Cas’ arms and stepped away.  
  
“Right, what’s next?”  
  
“Parcel tape please.” Cas was beaming at him as he held his hand out waiting for the tape.  
  
“Right, tape. I forgot.” He slid his socked feet across the kitchen floor à la Tom Cruise in Risky Business and he grinned when he heard Cas giggle behind him.  
  
“Killer moves Dean.”  
  
He shimmied his hips on the way back over to Cas, “You know it baby.” He said placing the tape in Cas’ hand and winking before walking past him.  
  
He ducked back into the pantry glad that he could hide his face.  
  
_What the hell was that Dean? Did you, did you just call Cas “Baby”? AWKWARD!!!  
  
_Thankfully Cas didn’t respond and a few seconds later Dean heard tape being pulled from the roll and he let out a quiet sigh as they both went back to the task at hand.  
  
Another hour slipped by and they had barely said more than a few words to each other. Dean was starting to worry that he had really gone and fucked things up this time. He had spent a good chunk of the last hour trying to figure out what to say to break the silence.  
Should he apologise? Was he even actually sorry for what he had said? He didn’t feel like he was. Deep down he knew he had meant it. He was just worried that by saying it this would be the start of Cas slowly drifting away and he didn’t want that. So he had to say something right? Clear the air. Make a joke. Anything would be better than this.  
  
He had just opened his mouth to speak when Cas’ muffled voice startled him and he bumped his head on the shelf he had been ducked under.  
  
“Son of a bitch. That hurt.”  
  
“What happened Dean? Are you ok?”  
  
“Yeh I’m fine Cas. I just hit my head. What did you say? I didn’t hear ya!”  
  
“I said I think Sam is back. I can hear a car outside.”  
  
“Oh.”  
_  
_ “Are you sure you’re alright Dean?”  
  
“Yeh Cas. It’s just, Sam ya know. I still don’t know how to tell him.”  
  
  
  
“How to tell me what?”  
  
Dean jumped a good foot in the air when he heard Sam. “Shit Sam. Way to give me a freakin’ heart attack. Don’t sneak up on people like that.”  
  
“Sorry Dean,” laughter bubbled up inside him, “I sometimes forget that you are such an old man.”  
  
“Bitch!”  
  
“Jerk!” Sam was grinning widely as he turned his attention to Cas, “Hey Cas. How are ya?”  
  
“Hello Sam. I am well thank you. How are you?”  
  
“I’m good thanks buddy. It’s nice to see you.”  
  
  
“So Dean, what don’t you know how to tell me?”  
  
“Maybe I should go,” Cas gestured towards the door, “Can I use your phone? I can get Gabe to pick me up."  
  
Panic stricken Dean almost shouted, “No Cas! Stay!” He dropped his head to his chest, “Please. I need you.”  
  
“Ok, one of you really needs to tell me what’s going on” Sam looked between Dean and Cas, and Dean could barely bring himself to look at his baby brother. _FUCK! I can’t do this.  
  
_“Maybe I should make some tea? Would you like tea? Sam? Dean?”  
  
“God yeh, thanks Cas.”  
  
“Sam?”  
  
“Sure I guess. Thanks.”  
  
Dean watched as Cas walked back into the kitchen to deal with the drinks. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, still unable to look Sam in the eyes.  
  
“Maybe we should sit?” he mumbled to the floor.  
  
He heard Sam sigh and glanced up at him just in time to see him stalk off to the sitting room. He followed behind slowly his feet dragging on the floor.  
  
“God dammit Dean. Just get in here would ya.”  
  
Sam was already settled on the couch, his eyes following Deans every move.  
Dean sat on the opposite end of the couch. His shoulders hunched and hands pinned between his thighs. He took a deep breath, “I had a phone call from Bobby this morning.”  
  
“Uncle Bobby? Is he alright Dean?” Sam sounded worried.  
  
“Yeh he is fine Sam. Uh, oh god, I really don’t fucking know how to tell you this, so I am just gonna come out and say it ok. Dad is gone. He is gone, and he isn’t coming back.”  
  
“What do you mean Dean? Is he… Is he, he isn’t dead is he?” Sam’s voice was a choked out whisper.  
  
“No. Oh no Sammy. He is just gone. He has left, just fucking abandoned us. I am so sorry Sammy.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I don’t know kid. I really don’t know.” Dean watched Sam carefully. He needed to keep it together for the both of them. He knew they would be fine with Bobby and Ellen, but really, deep down, they were all each other had now. He had to be strong for Sam.  
  
Tears started to fall down Sam’s cheeks, “Come ‘ere Sammy.”  
Dean moved closer to Sam and wrapped his arms around him, “Shh, shh. It’s gonna be ok.” He stroked the back of Sam’s head, “It’s gonna be fine Sammy. I promise. You will always have me.”  
  
Dean looked up as Cas came into the room carrying two steaming cups of tea. He placed them on the coffee table and Dean watched as he went back to the kitchen.  
  
_God Cas you have no idea how incredibly grateful I am to have you here right now.  
_  
Sam sniffled into his shoulder, “W-what, what are we going to do Dean?”  
  
“Well we’re gonna go and live with Bobby, and we are going to do what we do every other day of life. We’re going to keep fighting. You’re gonna get yourself a nice scholarship to some prestigious university and everything is going to work out for the best. I promise.”  
  
They stayed like that for some time. Dean gently comforting Sam as he let the tears flow. Eventually the tremors from Sam’s body ceased and Dean pulled back to look at him, “You ok?” he asked chucking Sam under his chin.  
  
“Not really, but it’s fine.”  
  
“Have some of the tea Cas made, it will help.”  
  
He disentangled himself from Sam and reached for their cups, passing one to Sam and taking a gulp of his own. He closed his eyes and sighed at the comforting taste, he would have to ask Cas how he had made it. They sat in silence whilst they finished their tea, both looking up when Cas came back into the room.  
  
“Would you like any more tea?”  
  
“No I’m good thanks Cas. Sammy would you like more?”  
  
“Please, thanks Cas.” Sam held his cup out and Cas took it as well as Dean’s empty one back to the kitchen.  
  
“Do you feel up to eating?” Dean wasn’t sure that he could stomach any food but he had to make sure Sam ate something, so he would eat as well.  
  
“I guess so” Sam said shrugging.  
  
“What would you like?”  
  
Sam shrugged his shoulders, “Will Cas eat with us?”  
  
“If you want him to. We can ask him?” Dean said.  
  
Sam nodded, a small smile playing on his lips making Dean smile in return. _So damn glad Cas is here._  
  
“Hey Cas!” Dean shouted through to the kitchen, “Come ‘ere for a sec man.”  
  
Cas stood in the doorway holding a newly filled cup for Sam, “Is everything ok?”  
  
“Yeh we’re good Cas. Gonna order some pizza. What do you want?”  
  
“Me?”  
  
“Yes you ya dumbass” Dean grinned up at Cas.  
  
“Oh. Uh, are you sure you want me to stay?” the look on Cas’ face could have broken Dean if he hadn’t already been wiped out emotionally.  
  
“Yes. We want you to stay and eat with us. Please Cas.”  
  
“Ok, that’s good. Thanks guys. Uh I can just have some of whatever is ordered. I’m not fussy.”  
  
“Cool. So Sammy, you want a veggie pizza?”  
  
A quick nod of the head gave Dean the answer he was after, “Right, one veggie, and one meat lovers. You ok with that Cas?”  
  
“Yes thank you Dean.”  
  
Dean patted Sam’s leg as he got up off the couch and headed towards the door where Cas was stood. As he walked past Cas he placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. Cas turned to look at him, the hint of a question in his wide eyes.  
  
“Thanks for being here today Cas. I, well uh, I appreciate it man. You have helped a hell of a lot.”  
  
“It’s my pleasure Dean.”  
  
He let go of Cas’ shoulder, his hand trailing part way down Cas’ bicep before he broke away fully and turned his back walking into the kitchen to call the pizzeria.  
  
*******  
  
“Here you go Sam” Cas handed the full cup to Sam as he sat down next to him.  
  
“Thank you Cas.”  
  
“No worries,” he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to step on any toes but he classed Sam as a friend and he wanted to make sure he was ok, “How, uh, umm. Are you ok Sam?” He breathed out heavily ducking his head, “You don’t have to ans… I shouldn’t have asked sorry.”  
  
“Hey Cas it’s ok. Look at me please.”  
  
He looked up to see Sam gazing at him intently.  
  
“Honestly I’m not feeling too good but I will be fine in time. I’m just really damn tired ya know.” Sam shrugged and a couple of seconds passed before he spoke again, “I didn’t have the best relationship with my Dad. He hmm, well he wasn’t the best Dad. Not after what happened with Mom. I don’t remember her. I was just a baby and you would think that would have made my relationship with my Dad stronger but he wasn’t the one who raised me. Dean has always been that guy, and damn it he was just a kid himself but he has done more for me than Dad ever did. So I am sad, and angry, and hurt, but I am kinda relieved if I am honest.”  
Sam held his head between his hands, his elbows resting on his thighs, “I guess that makes me sound like a terrible person huh? Relieved that my Dad is gone. You must think I am horrible.”  
  
Cas didn’t really know what to say, he wasn’t in their position but he could understand what Sam was trying to tell him. He reached over to Sam and placed his hand on Sam’s back, he didn’t rub his back just laid his hand there hoping the solid weight of another person would help.  
  
“I don’t think you are horrible Sam. Not one little bit. I never met your Dad but from what I have heard from both you and Dean I think that the fact that you are both incredibly well rounded individuals is something you should be extremely proud of. You have both been through so much. I can only imagine that this almost feels like being able to breathe again.”  
  
He felt Sam take a big breath in and as he sat back up Cas removed his hand.  
  
“Thanks Cas,” Sam turned towards him and Cas was glad to see the glimmer of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, “and thanks for being there for Dean too. He probably won’t say anything because he isn’t so good with his feelings but I know having you here today would have meant the world to him. You are a good influence in his life.”  
  
Cas felt his cheeks heat up to what could only be described as the depths of hell hot, “M-me?” he managed to stammer out.  
  
“Yeh Cas. He has been so much happier since you guys moved here and I know that has nothing to do with either Gabriel or Anna.”  
  
“Oh. I, but, I uh, I haven’t done…”  
  
“That’s the pizza ordered then guys. It’ll be forty minutes, that alright?”  
  
Cas snapped his mouth shut as Dean came back into the room. He turned towards Dean hoping that the blush he could still feel on his face had settled down.  
  
“Is that alr… uh did I interrupt something?”  
  
“What? N-no. Sam was just, um.”  
  
“I was telling Cas about some of the books I got today.” Sam’s quick thinking rescued them from what could have been an embarrassing conversation.  
  
_Come on Cas, breathe dammit. Sam probably didn’t mean anything by that.  
  
_“Oook, if you’re sure.” Dean didn’t look convinced but thankfully he dropped the subject, “So, forty minutes ok for you both?”  
  
“Yeh thanks Dean. I think I’m gonna take a shower if that’s ok. Do either of you need the bathroom?” Sam glanced between him and Dean expectantly.  
  
“I’m good thanks Sam.” _Phew, ok, I can string a sentence together again, that’s good.  
_  
“Nah I’m fine Sammy.” Dean replied.  
  
Sam levered himself off the couch and headed towards the stairs. Cas watched him go nervousness rapidly settling in his stomach as he turned back to face Dean.  
  
“So, hmm, I should. Uhm. Should I carry on boxing things up?” He found he couldn’t quite look Dean in the eyes and he would have been happy for the ground to open up and swallow him whole if it meant he didn’t have to stumble through trying to speak to Dean right now.  
  
Dean snickered and it made Cas glance up quickly. He noticed the raised eyebrow and smirk on Deans face, “You’re lookin’ a little flustered there Cas. You sure I didn’t interrupt something between you and Sam just now?”  
  
Cas was pretty sure there was an undercurrent of hurt running through Deans words but he didn’t have the brain power to try and work through that whilst Dean was looking at him like that.  
He walked purposefully back towards the kitchen and the task he had been working on before Sam came home, “Of course I’m sure Dean. Why wouldn’t I be?” relief flooded through him when his voice didn’t waver.  
  
Dean made an exasperated noise but said nothing else about it and for that Cas was grateful.  
He spent the next half an hour concentrating on the task before him. He hummed to himself as he worked and before he knew it there was a knock on the front door followed by the doorbell ringing, disturbing the quiet that had settled between them as they worked.  
  
He heard a muffled shout from somewhere and if he had to guess he would say that Dean was in the basement. “CAS CAN YOU GET THE DOOR PLEASE? MY WALLET’S IN MY JACKET.”  
  
After settling the bill and closing the door he dropped the pizza boxes on the kitchen table and turned round shouting to the brothers, “DEA…,” he jumped back as he came face to face with a dusty Dean, “Dammit Dean. Don’t sneak up on people,” he was half prepared to give Dean what for when he noticed the clean tracks of skin running down his otherwise extremely dusty face. He reached out a hand to Dean and laid it gently on his cheek. He felt Dean lean an almost imperceptible amount into the touch, “Hey are you ok?”  
  
Dean looked at him with such sadness in his eyes that Cas was taken aback by his response, “I’m good Cas. I was looking at some old photographs. Here look.” Dean handed him a wad of yellowing Polaroid photos before stepping back out of Cas’ touch.  
  
Cas sat at the table and looked through the photos that Dean had given him. He heard Dean shout to Sam that the pizza was here but he was engrossed in the happy smiling faces staring at him from his hands. “She was so beautiful Dean. You all look so happy.” He smiled wistfully up at Dean.  
  
Dean was drying his face on a dishtowel and his words were quiet but Cas heard them nonetheless. “You would have loved her Cas. She would have loved you,” Dean smiled at him when his face was dry, “I am sad that you never got to meet her.”  
  
“Me too Dean. If she was anything like you then I am sure she would have been an amazing person.” He watched as Dean’s mouth dropped open, a look of shock plastering his face.  
“Dean you are a great person. You have done an amazing job raising Sam and you are the best friend that I have ever had. Don’t look so shocked.”  
  
“Yeh yeh, enough of the chick flick crap Cas.” Dean huffed out.  
He wasn’t able to hide the smile that graced his features before he turned back to the sink though and Cas was happy to see that he had gotten through to him, even if it was only for a second.  
“Will you take the pizza through to the living room? We can watch a film or something whilst we eat if you want.”  
  
“I would like that Dean.” He grabbed the boxes and headed into the living room. He heard Sam barrelling back down the stairs and called out to him, “Food’s in here Sam.”  
  
He waited till they both came through, unsure where he should sit as there was only the one couch and it wasn’t really big enough for the three of them.  
  
Dean dumped some cans of soda on the table next to the pizza, “Sit down then Cas. It ain’t gonna bite ya.”  
  
“But, uh, there isn’t enough space for all of us. I can sit on the floor.” He moved to sit on the floor at the side of the table.  
  
“Oh no you don’t. Sit on the couch Cas. You’re a guest. I can sit on the floor.” The stubborn look on Dean’s face stopped Cas in his tracks and not wanting to argue he settled down on the couch.  
“What do you want to watch?”  
  
Cas looked up to see both brothers looking at him, “Me?”  
  
Sam huffed out a laugh, “Yes you Cas. Like Dean said you are our guest. You get to choose.”  
  
“Oh. Ok. Uh I don’t know. I haven’t seen many movies to be honest. I don’t really have an opinion.” He glanced down at his feet nervously.  
  
“How about Indiana Jones? Surely you’ve seen that?” Dean asked.  
  
Cas just shook his head, not willing to look at Dean and see the horror in his eyes.  
  
“Seriously?” Dean balked, “Well that’s settled then. Where have you been livin’ Cas? Under a friggin’ rock or something?” Dean popped the tape into the vcr and then settled himself on the floor between Cas and Sam’s legs.  
  
Cas tensed till Dean nudged him with the pizza box and said, “Relax Cas. You’re gonna enjoy this. Ain’t that right Sammy?”  
  
Cas looked over as Sam grunted his agreement, unable to speak with his mouth full of pizza.  
  
He took a slice of the proffered pizza and settled back into the comfy couch. Every so often Dean would offer another slice, or turn to look at him to make sure he was enjoying the movie. Cas felt that it could have been the worst movie in the world but he would have enjoyed it anyway due to the company. As it was he was really enjoying the movie, so much so that he didn’t even really register when Dean laid his head against Cas’ leg.  
They stayed like that till the credits rolled. Cas glanced over at Sam and had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when Sam whispered that Dean was asleep. He chuckled quietly and reached his hand out to shake Dean’s shoulder.  
  
Sam stood and picked up the empty boxes and soda cans then shuffled his way into the kitchen.  
  
Quietly not wanting to frighten him Cas said, “Dean. Come on Dean. The movie has finished.”  
  
Dean shifted and grunted an incoherent “Wuh?”  
  
“The movie Dean, it’s finished. You fell asleep.”  
  
He removed his hand from Dean’s shoulder as Dean angled his body towards him, “Sorry Cas. I, uh, didn’t mean to. I didn’t realise I was so tired.”  
  
“It’s fine Dean. Can I use your phone?”  
  
Dean looked mystified, “What for?”  
  
“I’ve gotta…”  
  
Sam poked his head back in the room, “I’m going to bed guys. Night Cas. It was good to have you here. Night Dean, see ya tomorrow.”  
  
“Night Sammy.” Dean smiled at his brother.  
  
“Goodnight Sam. I hope you sleep well.”  
  
Cas turned back to Dean as Sam made his way up the stairs. Dean was looking at him expectantly, “You’ve gotta what Cas?”  
  
“Oh, I need to phone Gabriel. Get him to pick me up.” He wasn’t prepared to see Dean’s smile falter, “What’s wrong Dean?”  
  
“I could drive or uh…”  
  
“No Dean. You need to get some rest. Gabriel won’t mind.”  
  
“I was gonna say that you could stay over if you wanted to.”  
  
“You were gonna…What?”  
  
“Come on Cas. It isn’t like I haven’t spent the night at your house before, this is the same thing.”  
  
“Bu-but you don’t have a spare bed Dean.” Cas could feel his heart about to beat out of his chest, his pulse was thundering in his ears.  
  
He heard Dean’s scoff through the roaring, “I can take the couch Cas.” He said matter-of-factly.  
  
“I can’t do that Dean. You’ve had a really rough day and you need proper rest. I will ta…”  
  
Dean interrupted him as he placed his hands on Cas’ leg to help push himself up off the floor, “Nope, no way. You are not sleeping on the couch. You are my guest.”  
  
He sighed deeply and Cas watched as his eyes flicked left to right seemingly unable to look at Cas as he said, “Look my bed is big enough for the both of us. We can put a barrier of pillows between us if that makes you feel better? Just please stay. I don’t want you to go.”  
  
Cas conceded. If he was honest with himself he didn’t really want to go home anyway. Although the idea of sharing Dean’s bed was causing all sorts of terrifying thoughts to fling themselves around his head, “Ok Dean. I will stay. But uh, I don’t have any clothes, or even a toothbrush. I, well, I hadn’t expected to be staying.”  
  
“It’s fine Cas. Go and phone Gabe and let him know you’re staying here tonight and that I’ll take you home tomorrow. I can lend you some clothes and I am sure we have a new toothbrush somewhere. I’ll leave it all in the bathroom for you. Just flick the lights off when you are done down here will ya?”  
  
“Of course Dean. Thank you.”  
  
He watched as Dean turned and headed up the stairs. He stayed on the couch for a minute or so more, he needed to get his mind together before speaking to Gabriel.  
Once in the kitchen he ran himself a glass of water and downed it in one. He dialled his own phone number with shaking hands and held his breath until he heard Gabe’s voice come through the receiver.  
  
_“Hello?”  
  
_“Hey Gabriel, it’s me.”  
  
_“Cassie? You ok?”  
  
_“Yeh I’m fine thanks. I’m gonna stay at Dean’s tonight if that’s ok?”  
  
Gabe chuckled, _“Why wouldn’t it be ok Cas? I don’t mind if you want to spend the night at your boyfriends.”  
  
_“He isn’t my boyfriend Gabriel” Cas hissed out. _Even if that is exactly what I want_ he thought.  
  
_“Sure, whatever you say Cassie. Just remember to use protection.”  
  
_“Shut up assbutt. I’m hanging up now. I will see you tomorrow.”  
  
_“G’night Castiel. Say night to loverb…”  
  
_Cas didn’t hear the rest of what Gabe said as he hung the phone up. God how he wished he could have slammed it down but it wasn’t his phone after all, and he didn’t want to disturb Sam.  
  
He made his way out of the kitchen turning the light off as he went. He double checked that the front door was locked although he was sure Dean would have done that already and when he was satisfied everything was safe he headed up to the bathroom.  
  
Dean had left the light on for him and he was relieved to see a pair of pyjama bottoms and an old band t-shirt folded up on the side of the bath. A brand new sealed toothbrush resting on top of the clothes. As he brushed his teeth he spent a few moments in quiet contemplation of spending the night in Dean’s bed. He knew that it didn’t mean anything for Dean, he just needed to make sure he kept himself in check. Dean’s idea of a pillow wall was the only thing stopping him from losing his mind over this.  
He rinsed his face and rubbed it dry on the towel Dean had left out. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, “Come on Cas. You can do this. It’s not a big deal.”  
He pulled his clothes off and replaced them with the ones left out for him.  
  
_Oh god, they smell like Dean. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is not good.  
  
_Cas was really beginning to think he wasn’t going to survive the night at this rate.  
He checked his reflection one last time before turning the light out and slowly making his way to Deans door. It was open a crack and Cas could see a small amount of light seeping out, he took a deep breath and walked in closing the door behind him.  
He stood just in front of the closed door for a few seconds afraid to move and disturb the peace. _THIS IS A REALLY BAD IDEA._ The voice screaming at him in his head was so loud he didn’t hear Dean speak to him.  
  
“Pardon?” he gulped, his mouth drier than a desert.  
  
Dean lifted his head from where it was smushed into his pillow, “I said are you gonna stand there all night man?”  
  
“Oh. Right. No. Uh…”  
  
“Jeez Cas. Just get into bed wouldya, I wanna get some sleep.”  
  
“Right. S-sorry Dean. Of course.” Cas shuffled towards the bed. Dean grabbed the covers and pulled them back so Cas could get in and he breathed a sigh of relief to see the pillow wall that would separate them for the night. He placed his clothes on the floor next to the bed and slid into place trying not to jostle Dean too much.  
  
“There that’s better. Turn the light off wouldya?” Dean said as he flung the cover over Cas and patted him on his chest. His face already nestled back into the pillow.  
  
Cas reached over to the lamp and flicked it off. He pulled both arms under the cover and hugged himself tightly. He tried to breathe as shallowly as he could sure that Dean would notice how freaked out he was if he made any kind of noise, but after a few minutes he heard quite little huffs of breath coming from Dean betraying that he had fallen asleep almost instantly.  
Cas relaxed slowly. His taut muscles shedding the tension they had been holding and eventually he fell asleep himself.  
  
“Dean. Is everything ok?” Cas had woken abruptly when he felt the bed bounce underneath him.  
  
“Sorry Cas, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Dean whispered into the dark.  
  
He rubbed his eyes and yawned, “Hmm it’s fine Dean. What time is it?”  
  
“A little after 2 buddy. Go back to sleep.”  
  
“Ok Dean. Are you su,” another yawn escaped, “sure you’re ok?”  
  
“I’m fine Cas. Come on buddy, back to sleep.”  
  
Cas shuffled further under the covers and let his eyes drift closed. He was almost asleep when he heard Dean speak again.  
  
*******  
  
“Cas?”  
  
“Whhu?” Cas’ muffled voice sent a wave of guilt through Dean.  
  
“Sorry man. It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.” He turned to his side and closed his eyes tightly.  
  
“What’s wrong Dean? Are you having trouble sleeping?”  
  
“A little I guess. I really didn’t mean to wake you though. I’ll be quiet now.”  
  
“Dean it is fine. What’s bothering you? Is it your Dad?”  
  
“Nah not really. Well yeh, sure that’s bothering me but it’s not like I can do anything about that. So no. I just, uh this is stupid, and none of my business really, it doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Dean. Out with it.”  
  
He flinched at the snippy tone of Cas’ voice. _Dammit Dean why do you do this?  
  
_“Sorry. I didn’t meant to snap Dean. What’s wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything.”  
  
He let out a shaky breath before asking, “Who is Jimmy?” he couldn’t see Cas’ face in the dark but he didn’t need to be a genius to know what the sharp intake of breath he heard from Cas meant. “Sorry. I shouldn’t, just I, when I got the boxes from yours earlier I noticed a bunch of unopened ones that had his name scrawled on them and I haven’t ever heard his name before. I just, uh wondered who he is?”  
  
He turned to look at Cas and saw that he had propped himself up against the headrest.  
  
“Jimmy is my twin brother.”  
  
“You ha... what? You have a twin? Where is he?”  
  
“Yep, ever since I was born Dean. Shocking I know.” Cas chuckled and Dean reached out to smack him lightly on his arm.  
  
“Ass. You know what I mean.”  
  
“He is with my Mother.”  
  
“Ok? And where is that? Come to think of it I haven’t heard about your Mom before either. What’s that all about?”  
  
“We don’t really talk about them Dean. My Mother is extremely religious. She’s a missionary and Jimmy wanted to follow in her footsteps, so when she deemed him old enough to join her in her work she whisked him away. I think the rest of us disappoint her to be honest. We very rarely hear from them anymore.”  
  
“Wow. I, I’m sorry Cas. It must be hard to not have your brother around. I don’t know how I would cope without Sammy, but to not have your twin there with you that must really blow.”  
  
“It hurt a lot to start with but he has been gone a few years now and I am used to the feeling of him being gone. It’s kinda like a muted itch that I can’t quite reach to scratch but it doesn’t bother me too much.”  
  
“And your Mom? Do you miss her?”  
  
Cas laughed harshly, “We didn’t really get along Dean. I miss her because she is my Mother, but I don’t ever really think about her.”  
  
“Oh. Ok. Still, I’m sorry. At least you have your Dad right.” Bitterness laced his voice.  
  
“I’m sorry Dean.”  
  
“It’s ok Cas. I should be the one apologising. It isn’t your fault my Dad is a grade A jerk.”  
  
Cas reached out and rubbed Deans shoulder.  
  
“Sorry for waking you Cas, but thank you for telling me about your brother.”  
  
He felt the bed move as Cas settled back under the covers.  
  
“It’s fine Dean. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I have nothing to hide.”  
  
“Thanks Cas. We should try and sleep now.”  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“Would you tell me about your Mom one day?”  
  
“Sure thing Cas.”  
  
“I’d like that, thank you. Goodnight Dean.”  
  
“Night buddy.”  
  
Dean woke again a few hours later and found that he had breached the wall of pillows and turned into a clingy octopus. He was pressed up against Cas’ side with an arm and leg draped over him. His first instinct was to yank his limbs back but he didn’t want to wake Cas again. Especially not to alert him to the fact that Dean couldn’t keep his hands to himself.  
  
_FUCK. What do I do now?_ He lay still for a few seconds as he tried to gather his senses. _Come on buddy, just slowly retract your limbs and he will be none the wiser. You’ve got this.  
  
_He lifted his arm first and started to turn his torso away from Cas. “Oohhh fuuuck” he couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his lips as he realised his cock was fully hard when it brushed against Cas’ hip. He froze as Cas shifted underneath him, his leg was still draped over Cas’. Every movement sent another pulse of excitement racing through his body as Cas brushed up against him again. He bit his lip hard, quiet whimpers breaching the silence of the room.  
   
_Shit, this is bad, this is very bad.  
  
_Panic was rapidly setting in as he tried to figure out how to retract his leg from its current position without waking Cas.  
  
_Like a band-aid. Quick and painless.  
  
_He took a shallow breath and in one swift manoeuvre he lifted his leg and flung himself onto his back. The motion caused him to almost roll off the side of the bed. When he came to a stop he realised he had been growling, a low guttural moan rolling off his tongue.  
He lay as still as he could barely daring to breathe as he waited to see if he had woken Cas up. A few moments passed and Dean was sure if his heart was to beat any harder it would burst out of his chest, but thankfully the only sound that came from next to him was a mumbled grunt as Cas turned his back towards Dean.  
Breathing a sigh of relief he eased himself off the side of his bed and crept as quietly as he could out of his room. He pulled the door to behind him and went into the bathroom.  
He locked the door and after staring at himself in the mirror he decided a cold shower was in order. He could barely admit to himself that almost every time he had jerked off recently he had ended up thinking about Cas. He certainly didn’t feel right about doing it now so a cold shower sounded like the perfect remedy.  
It worked to an extent, his boner died down but the weird feeling in his stomach didn’t. He stood outside his room for almost half an hour before deciding he should probably just try to sleep the rest of the night on the couch.  
He grabbed a spare blanket from the linen closet and dropped dramatically onto the couch when he reached it. His quiet shout of frustration muffled by the cushions. He tossed and turned, his mind full of buzzing electricity but eventually he fell into a light sleep. When he was woken by Sam throwing a cushion at his face and laughing at him a short time later he lamented that he probably hadn’t even managed the four hours of sleep he needed.  
  
*******  
  
Cas was roused out of what had been an extremely good night’s sleep by the sound of Sam’s laughter as it drifted up the stairs. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms as far above his head as he could manage. Groaning through the stretch he turned his head to find that Dean was no longer next to him and the wall of pillows had been demolished.  
  
_Oh no. No no no. Please don’t tell me I did something in my sleep. Not today of all days.  
  
_He made his way gingerly down the stairs, he looked in the living room first and noticed the blanket crumpled up on the couch.  
  
_Shit Shit Shit. Oh Castiel, what did you do?  
_  
Hearing quiet voices from the kitchen he padded through to find Sam and Dean seated at the table. Sam was shovelling some kind of granola into his mouth at lightning speed. Dean had his head down, his hands wrapped around a steaming mug of what Cas assumed was coffee.  
  
Sam turned his head towards him as he entered the kitchen, “Morning Cas. Did ya sleep well?”  
  
At the sound of Sam’s greeting Dean’s head whipped up and he sat staring at Cas. Cas watched as Dean’s eyes raked over him, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips.  
Cas had to look away, it was too much for him to process just after waking. When he looked down he realised belatedly that he was still wearing Dean’s clothes.  
  
_Oh god. No. This is too much.  
  
_Heat flooded his body and he had to fight every instinct he had that was telling him to flee.  
  
“Cas? Buddy? You ok?” Sam sounded concerned and Cas realised he hadn’t responded. How long had he stood there in silence?  
  
“Y-yes, thanks Sam. I’m good. Sorry I’m not really a morning person. Coffee. Proper brain functioning. Something something.” _Jesus shut up. You sound like an imbecile.  
  
_Sam’s laugh rang out again, “Well help yourself man. There’s plenty to go around. Dean is the same first thing in the morning.”  
  
_Oh right. Dean. Probably ought to say morning or something.  
  
_“Guh-good morning Dean.” _Nailed it buddy. Well done. That wasn’t awkward in the slightest._  
  
“Cas. Sleep ok?” Dean grumbled.  
  
“I did thank you Dean. Did, uh, did you?”  
  
“Uh yeh I spose.” He shrugged, turning his head away from Cas.  
  
Cas had filled a cup and was slowly inhaling the scent as he turned back to the table. Sam was beaming at him and Cas couldn’t help but smile back. The kid was like a giant puppy he always made Cas smile. Dean’s head was ducked back down now though and the gnawing worry that had taken root in Cas’ stomach grew in intensity.  
  
_I should go home. Maybe I can get Gabe to pick me up.  
  
_“I should go and get changed. Thanks for lending me some clothes Dean. I’ll give Gabe a ring and get him to pick me up, get outta your hair, I k-know you still have a lot to do.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he dashed out of the kitchen and back up the stairs.  
  
Even with how fast his feet were moving he still managed to hear Sam’s exasperated voice as he said, “What the hell Dean? What is your problem?”  
  
Not wanting to hear Dean’s reply he shut himself in the bathroom. He took a few minutes to calm down and then stoically brushed his teeth and scrubbed his face clean. He went to change into his own clothes and when he was done he dropped the clothes Dean had lent him into the laundry basket before making his way back down stairs.  
  
“Is it ok if I use your phone? I think Gabe should be able to come and get me straight away.”  
  
“Dean.” Sam hissed and Cas watched as he stared Dean down with bitchface number 7 or something. Whatever had been said between them whilst Cas was upstairs he guessed Sam was not happy about it.  
  
Dean looked up and sheepishly said, “You don’t need to phone Gabe Cas. You’re more than welcome to hang out with us today.”  
  
“Oh. Thank you for the offer, but I really should head home. I have things to do today, and you guys still have lots to do. Thanks though.”  
  
“Ok Cas. Well just give me five minutes yeh and I’ll take you home.”  
  
Cas flinched as Dean pushed his chair away from the table causing it to screech against the floor. He walked past Cas and laid his hand on Cas’ shoulder before sighing and heading to the bathroom.  
  
“Sorry about that Cas,” Sam’s voice snapped him out of the trance he was in, “I dunno what’s gotten into him this morning. Are you sure you don’t wanna hang around for a bit?”  
  
“Thanks Sam. I, uh, don’t tell Dean this please, but it’s my birthday today and my Dad is gonna be at home so I really should be there.”  
  
“It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say anything?” Sam jumped off his chair and wrapped Cas in a bear hug, “Happy Birthday Cas. I wish we had known. We could have done something to celebrate, or at least have got you a present.”  
  
Cas chuckled at Sam’s enthusiasm and hugged him back before letting go, “It’s fine Sam. I didn’t mention it because I don’t really like to celebrate my birthday. The only reason anything is happening is because my Dad likes to try and be around for each of our birthdays if he can get the time off from whatever tour he is on. I haven’t seen him for the past couple of birthdays so I should be there this time.”  


“Ok. That’s cool. Well I won’t mention anything to Dean then. I hope that you have a nice day though. You deserve that much at least.”  
  
Cas blushed at Sam’s words, he believed that Sam meant them sincerely. “Thank you Sam.”  
  
“Looks like Dean is ready. I’ll see you soon yeh?”  
  
“Of course Sam. Thanks for having me. I had a nice time.”  
  
Sam clapped him on his shoulder and then brushed past Dean on the way out of the kitchen.  
  
“Watch it Sammy.” Dean snapped.  
  
“Whatever jerk,” he stuck his hand in the air in a semi-wave, “See ya later Cas.”  
  
“Bye Sam.”  
  
“So, uh, you ready Cas?”  
  
“Yes thank you Dean.”  
  
“Ok cool.” Dean moved towards the front door grabbing his jacket as he went. Cas trailed a few paces behind.  
  
They drove to Cas’ house in silence. Dean had opted to turn his stereo off as soon as they had gotten into Baby but he didn’t seem inclined to speak either, so Cas sat quietly staring out of the window watching the world whiz past them.  
  
As they pulled into Cas’ street and got closer to his house Cas heard Dean gasp, “What’s going on Cas? Your house is decorated.”  
  
Cas inwardly groaned. _Dammit Gabe. Why do you do this to me?  
_He looked at his house and noticed a homemade banner across the front window ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY CASSIE’ it read, decorated with rainbows and balloons on either side of the words.  
  
“It’s your birthday?” Dean sounded unsure, and hurt.  
  
“Yes Dean.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me man?” anger laced his words as he cut the engine.  
  
“Because I don’t like to celebrate my birthday Dean. It isn’t a happy time for me. And you, you seemed so off with me this morning. Why would I have said anything?” Cas snapped.  
  
“I’m sorry Cas.” Dean visibly deflated, his head hanging in shame.  
  
“It’s fine Dean. I just don’t know what I did wrong.”  
  
“Nothing Cas. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s, it, oh it doesn’t matter.”  
  
“Sure Dean. It doesn’t matter. Look you have things to do and your brother needs you. I have, all this,” he gestured vaguely at his house, “to deal with. Just go home and I will see you at school.”  
  
Cas got out of the car, “Goodbye Dean,” he closed the door gently, no matter how he was feeling inside it wouldn’t be fair to take it out on Baby. He turned away and walked up the path to his front door. He walked inside and slammed the door shut without looking back once.  
  
“Cassie? That you?” Gabe shouted.  
  
He choked out a garbled confirmation before running up the stairs and flinging himself on his bed. The tears fell unbidden as he buried his face in his pillow.  
  
A soft knock on his door brought him out of the weird half sleep he had fallen into. He heard slipper clad feet padding across his room and felt the bed dip as someone sat on it. A warm hand stroked his hair repeatedly, “Cassie? What’s wrong?” Gabe’s voice was quiet and caring.  
  
Cas turned towards him and rested his head on Gabe’s knee, “I don’t know Gabe. I, uh, Dean has been in a terrible mood all morning and I think it is because of me. I must have involuntarily done something in my sleep last night. He ended up sleeping on the couch. I don’t know what I did though and I don’t know how to make it right. And I hate today, you know that. I just didn’t need that this morning. I should have come home last night.”  
  
He spoke through the sobs that were trying to force their way out of him. Gabe rubbed his back throughout, not saying anything, just being there for his baby brother as he shed the weight that was resting so heavily on him.  
Cas was grateful to have a brother who cared as much as Gabe did. Sure he could be a pain in the ass but that’s what siblings are like. It was both a comfort and a relief to know his brother was there for him no matter what.  
  
“Would you like me to beat him up?” the mischievous smile on Gabe’s face gave away that he was mostly kidding. Although Cas was sure if he did want that then Gabe would happily oblige.  
  
“No. It’s ok Gabe. I am fine really,” He grunted as he pushed himself into a seated position, “he will get over whatever his problem is, and if he doesn’t, well that is his problem. Not mine.”  
  
“Attaboy,” Gabe crowed happily, “now are you gonna come downstairs? We have presents. And I baked a cake.”  
  
“You baked? For me?”  
  
“No for Anna. Course it’s for you. Couldn’t let my little brother go without something sweet on his birthday now could I?”  
  
Cas flung his arms around Gabe’s neck, “Thank you Gabe. I love you.”  
  
“Love you too Cassie. Let’s go downstairs ok? We can still make this a great day.”  
  
Gabe got up off the bed and held his hands out to pull Cas onto his feet. They made their way down the stairs together and Gabe made Cas cover his eyes before they walked into the living room. When he removed his hands from his eyes he was met with an excited shout of “SURPRISE” from Anna, and Gabe, and his Dad.  
  
His Dad pulled him in for a long overdue hug, “Hello Castiel. Happy Birthday.”  
  
“Hey Dad. It’s really good to see you. How have you been?”  
  
“Busy as usual, my agent has me booked in for so many dates on this tour but today isn’t about me. This is your day, and we will have plenty of time to catch up over the next week.”  
  
Cas looked confused, “Are you staying?”  
  
“For a week yes. I have to head out again next weekend but I will be here all week. We can have family dinners and you can show me round the town. All that good stuff. But today, we celebrate!”  
  
“That’s awesome Dad. I am happy to hear that. I have missed you.”  
  
“We all have.” Anna and Gabe said in unison before they burst into happy laughter.  
  
_Maybe today won’t be as bad as I thought. I have my family. I don’t need anyone else.  
  
_*******  
  
_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  
  
_Dean bumped his head against Baby’s steering wheel. He had watched Cas walk away from him without looking back and when he heard the front door slam shut he realised he felt absolutely wretched. He sat with his head bowed listening to the rain as it started to fall, torn between wanting to get out of the car to go and try to make things right again; and wanting to just drive away and leave it all behind him.  
  
_You’re such a fucking idiot Dean. He is probably not gonna want to talk to you again now. Why are you like this?  
_  
“Happy Birthday Cas”, he mumbled to himself before he resignedly started the car and took one last look at Cas’ house as he drove off. He didn’t want to go home just yet. He knew he would just be walking into an argument with Sam about how he had treated Cas and that wasn’t something he was willing to face right now, so he drove.  
  
He headed out of town and even when the rain got heavier and he could hear distant thunder he didn’t stop. He kept driving until his mind cleared and his heart no longer felt heavy.  
  
Taking stock of where he was he realised he had subconsciously driven out to Cas’ favourite garden center. They had been here a couple of times so the Novak’s could buy plants and garden ornaments. Cas always made him laugh when he had been invited to go with them. His enthusiasm over all the different types of plants and the tiny little houses for bees and insects was unbounded and if Dean was being honest with himself he knew he found that adorable. He had never really been interested in the idea of gardening before but Cas’ love for nature had taught him a thing or two and once he stepped inside the large building he started to relax. Maybe fixing things would be easy after all.  
  
He wandered aimlessly for a short while revelling in the vibrant colors and the fresh earthy smells that reminded him so much of Cas.  
  
_God Dean you really are a damn idiot.  
  
_He chuckled to himself when he realised that he cared for Cas more than he cared for pretty much anyone except Sammy. He knew in that instant he would do whatever it took to patch up their friendship, starting with getting Cas the perfect birthday gift.  
  
He looked through the house plants thinking that Cas could have one on his desk at home. Nothing jumped out at him as overly special until he noticed a little name tag nestled in a pot with a sturdy looking plant. It read - ‘Key Lime Pie’, he picked it up so he could get a better look at the information tag where he found that it was a succulent and would be perfectly suited to spending its days on Cas’ desk, and if the name reminded Cas of him, well that was just an added bonus. _Perfect. One present down.  
_  
He wandered over to the section of the store that housed all the things like birdhouses, and bee/insect houses, and seeds, and wild bird food. Dean knew exactly what he was looking for here. He picked up a make your own bee house kit thinking that Cas would appreciate being able to build his own.  
_Maybe he will let me help him_ he pondered as he picked up a pack of wildflower seed bombs that said they were specially formulated for bees and other types of pollinators.  
_Cas is gonna love this. He just has to._ He took his items to the checkout and then headed back to Baby with a smile on his face. Not even the current torrential downpour could dampen his now elevated spirits.  
  
Pulling out of the parking lot he turned Baby back towards town and as he drove he weighed up the pros and cons of going straight back to Cas’ house. He took so long to decide that before he knew it he was pulling up in front of Cas’. He cut the engine but remained where he was until he could pluck up the courage to go and knock on the door.  
  
_Damn, I don’t have a card. Maybe I should just go home and give these to him tomorrow. No. Come on Winchester nut-up. You’ve got this. It’s Cas, he ain’t gonna stay mad at ya.  
  
_He got out of Baby and nervously made his way to the front door. He rapped on it a couple of times before cramming his hand into his pocket, the other behind his back hiding the gift bag.  
  
The door flung open and he was greeted by Gabe his face turning stony as he realised it was Dean, “Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”  
_  
Shit this was a bad idea. God I am such an idiot. I shouldn’t have come.  
  
_“Gabe? Who is it?” Dean heard Cas’ shout and looked past Gabe to see him walking towards the door, a rainbow coloured party hat nestled in his wild hair.  
  
“Oh. Hello Dean. What are you doing here?”  
  
“I think he might have forgotten how to talk Cassie. I just asked the same question and he is just standing there, looking like that.” Gabe waved his hands at Dean, his tone and the look on his face conveying his anger towards Dean.  
  
“Well Dean? What do you want?” Cas’ voice was gentle but it still had a hard edge to it.  
  
“I, uh, I wanted to. Sorry, I am so stupid, I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t mean to ruin your party. I’m just gonna go ok.” He turned to walk back to his car but stopped when he felt a hand grab his arm. He glanced down at the fingers wrapped around him and then back up to Cas’ face, “What are you doing Cas?”  
  
“Come inside Dean.”  
  
“But, I…”  
  
“Dean,” Cas sighed heavily, “just come inside.”  
  
Dean dropped his head, “Ok, if you’re sure?”  
  
Cas didn’t respond, he just turned and walked back inside his house. Dean followed a few paces behind. Cas stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him and as Dean closed the front door behind himself Cas padded softly up the stairs to his bedroom.  
  
Dean gulped and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans, but he dutifully followed Cas upstairs.  
  
“Close the door Dean.” Cas told him when he reached the bedroom. Dean did as he was told and then stood fidgeting nervously. “Well sit down then.”  
  
Cas was sat in the only chair in the room leaving Dean no choice but to sit on his bed. He perched cautiously on the edge, his hands gripping tightly to the gift bag.  
  
“Well?”  
  
“I’m sorry Cas. I’m sorry for being an asshole this morning. You hadn’t done anything wrong, and you didn’t deserve to be treated like that,” he took a breath to steady his nerves before continuing, “do, do you think that, um, that maybe you might be able to forgive me?    Please?” his voice cracked on the last word. Unable to look at Cas they sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
“Is that for me?”  
  
He looked up at Cas confusion plastered on his face. Cas pointed to the bag in his hands.  
  
“Oh. Um. Yes.” He held the bag out for Cas to take, “Happy Birthday Cas” he whispered.  
  
As much as he wanted to look away from Cas he couldn’t make his eyes do what they were told so he was watching as Cas opened the bag up, gasping when he saw what was inside.  
  
“It’s stupid I know. I just. I wanted to try and make up for how I acted this morning, and well, sorry if you don’t like them.”  
  
Cas’ face broke out into his patented gummy grin, “Dean, are you kidding? I love them. This is so thoughtful. Thank you.”  
  
“You really think so?” his spirits rose as he watched delighted eyes taking everything in.  
  
“Yes Dean. This is a lovely gift. Thank you.”  
  
Dean breathed a sigh of relief. It no longer felt like he had metal bars constricting around his lungs, “God I’m really happy to hear that. A-are we ok?”  
  
“Of course we are. I can’t stay mad at you. I still don’t understand what was wrong but you are my best friend, we will always be ok.” Cas spoke with such certainty that Dean couldn’t help but believe every word he said and his heart swelled because of it. “Would you like to come and have some cake? It’s chocolate and peanut butter.”  
  
“I, uh, I would love to Cas, but what about Gabe? He, does he hate me?”  
  
“He doesn’t hate you. He was just angry on my behalf. We can tell him that we have worked it all out and he will be fine. In time.” Cas smirked at Dean.  
  
“Huh, spose I deserve that really. Ok, let’s go then.” He stood up and was suddenly enveloped in a tight embrace.  
  
“Thank you Dean. They really are lovely gifts.”  
  
“My pleasure Cas,” he squeaked as Cas pulled away.  
  
*******  
  
They made their way down stairs and as Dean went to the kitchen Cas pulled Gabriel to one side before he had the chance to shout at Dean.  
  
“Why is he still here Cas?”  
  
“Because it’s my birthday and I offered him some cake.”  
  
“The cake that I baked?” Gabe asked incredulously, a storm raging in his eyes.  
  
“Yes Gabriel,” Cas sighed, “the cake you baked for me. For my birthday. That is my cake. Do you have a problem with that?”  
  
“Actually, yes I do. He makes you cry on your birthday and then has the gall to show up here and you expect me to be ok with that?”  
  
“Yes Gabe. I do. Because I am ok. He has apologised and I don’t want to spend the rest of my birthday arguing with anyone, so I accepted his apology and that is the end of it.”  
  
Gabe huffed in anger but threw his hands in the air in an act of surrender, “Fine. But don’t come running to me when he hurts you again.”  
  
“He won’t hurt me again Gabe.” Cas’ voice did not waver, but he wasn’t sure if he believed the words he was saying. Only time would tell if they turned out to be true or not. He watched Gabe stalk off towards the back door and a few seconds later heard it slammed shut.  
  
_Jeez what a day. It’s no wonder I don’t like birthdays.  
  
_As he walked towards the kitchen he could hear Anna giggling, probably at Dean trying to impress their dad.  
  
“What’s goin’ on in here then?” he said as he walked through the door.  
  
“Oh hello Castiel. Dean was just telling us about the time that he and, did you say your brother’s name is Sam?”  
  
“That’s right Sir.”  
  
“Right, yes, well he was telling us about the time that they jumped from a shed roof when they were younger, and Sam believing he could fly actually ended up breaking his arm. It doesn’t sound funny, it actually sounds horrifying, but Dean was so animated whilst recounting it that he made it funny.”  
  
“Ah yes. Sam told me that story once. He said that he and Dean were in costume. Superman for Dean, and Batman for himself. Dean jumped first and landed fine so he felt it was safe to follow in his footsteps, but as everyone older than 5 knows, Batman can’t actually fly. Sam didn’t know this, much to his detriment. After they realised he had broken his arm Dean took him to the ER on his handlebars. Honestly I am quite surprised that either of them are still alive to tell the tale.” He smiled as he listened to Dean’s raucous laughter, watching him wipe tears from his eyes.  
  
“I’ve never let him live it down of course. What good is being a big brother if you can’t mercilessly rib your siblings once in a while?” Dean beamed at Cas and it made something warm and fuzzy take root in Cas’ heart, “Speaking of Sam though I really ought to get back home. I’ve been out for hours now and I imagine he’s wondering where I’ve got to.”  
  
“Oh, ok Dean. That’s probably wise,” Cas walked to the table with the party food laid out on it and grabbed a couple of paper plates. He placed some snack foods on one, and two big chunks of cake on the other before wrapping them both in saran wrap and turning back to Dean. He held them both out, “Here, take these for you and Sam. I’m sorry he missed the party. I didn’t realise it would be a nice experience.”  
  
Dean reached out to take the plates from him a worried look on his face, “Uh, are you sure Cas? I don’t need to take anything home with me, it’s your cake after all.”  
  
“Yes I’m sure. I would like Sam to have some, and you of course.”  
  
“Alright man. Thanks. Sam’s gonna love this. Well I’d better be off then,” he extended his free hand to Chuck, who gladly shook it, “it was nice to meet you Sir.”  
  
“You too Dean. Take care.”  
  
“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.” Cas headed to the front of the house knowing Dean would catch up to him.  
  
“Bye Anna. See you at school.”  
  
“See ya later Dean. Say hi to Sam for me.”  
  
Cas heard their goodbyes as he stood out on the front porch waiting for Dean. He had his eyes closed and was happily listening to the rain pattering on the ground.  
  
“I’ll be going then Cas. Thanks for, uh you know, not hating me.”  
  
“As I said before Dean, I could never hate you. Thank you for caring enough to make things better.”  
  
“You’re welcome buddy. Anytime. I’m gonna go now. You don’t need to come down to Baby, no point in you getting wet. I’ll see you at school tomorrow yeh?”  
  
“Of course Dean. Drive safe.”  
  
Cas stood on the porch and waited until Dean had driven away and he could no longer see Baby. He went back inside, unsurprised to see that Gabe had re-joined them now that Dean was gone. They would make up eventually Cas was sure of it. What really mattered was that he and Dean had patched things up. That was the best birthday present he could have wished for. Smiling at his family he realised that this birthday had been one of the best he had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was extremely naive about how quickly I would be able to get each chapter finished. Sorry. I am just going to post when they are done rather than trying to work to a schedule. 
> 
> Thank you for reading. Comments and Kudos would be happily received.


	4. and I swallowed a sea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo has a halloween party and things don't go quite to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me tooth and nail, but I finally got it done. As usual there might be a whole bunch of angst in here. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not. I thrive on it.

**and I swallowed a sea.  
  
_I thought of_  
_all the things_  
_I wanted_  
_to say to you_  
  
_and I swallowed_  
_a sea._  
  
_*Chloë Frayne*_  
  
**  
“Hey Castiel!! Castiel! Hold up!”  
  
Cas stopped in his tracks when he heard his name being shouted out from down the hall at school. He turned to see Jo running towards him, a sheet of paper flapping about in her hand as she moved.  
  
“Hello Jo. What’s up?”  
  
She came to a stop in front of him and placed her hand on his arm steadying herself as she got her breath back, “Hey. Has Anna seen you yet today?”  
  
“Not since this morning. Why? Is she ok?”  
  
“Yep she’s fine. I just wondered if she had spoken to you about the Halloween party I’m having in a couple of weeks, but I guess not. Sooooo, it’s gonna be on the Saturday before Halloween. You totally have to come and you absolutely have to wear a costume because it’s gonna be Supernatural themed. Anna is coming and I need to invite Gabe too, but all the usual suspects will be there - Dean, Sam, Charlie, basically everyone. Please say you’ll come? Pleeeaaasssseeeeee?”  
  
She looked at him with huge puppy dog eyes and even though he was internally grumbling about the theme he couldn’t say no, “I’ll be there Jo. It sounds fun. Thanks for inviting me.”  
  
“YES”, she crowed as she fist pumped the air, “Dean is gonna be thrilled!”  
  
“He is? Why?” Cas was perplexed. _What a strange thing for her to say.  
  
_Jo’s laughter was light and breathy, “Yeh, he wasn’t sure if you would want to go when you found out what the theme was.”  
  
“Ah yes, I guess that makes sense. It’s a bit weird but I don’t mind really.”  
  
“I knew you wouldn’t. You’re great Castiel. I can’t wait to see what costume you wear.”  
  
Cas was about to reply when Jo spoke again, “Anyway, I’ve gotta get to class. Catch you later dude”, she waved, darting off as fast as she had arrived, leaving Cas feeling as though he had been caught up in a whirlwind.  
  
  
When he finally reached his classroom he was a few seconds shy of being tardy and he found Dean practically bouncing out of his seat with worry, “Cas! Thank god you’re here. I was starting to get really worried man. You’re never late”.  
  
“Sorry Dean. I didn’t mean to worry you. Jo stopped me in the hall. I swear that girl is like a hurricane or something” he chuckled softly to himself as the relief washed visibly over Dean.  
  
“And?” Dean looked both excited and anxious, and it made his face contort in such a strange way that Cas burst into a fit of giggles at him, “Why are ya laughin’ at me Cas?”  
  
“You- you looked so nervous, and excited. I’m sorry Dean. I couldn’t help it. You were so cute”.  
  
“Hey. I am not cute. I will have you know that I am a very manly man”.  
  
Cas snickered, “Yes. Yes of course. Sorry Dean. Definitely not cute”. He reached out and patted Dean on his cheek causing Dean to scoff and swat at his hand.  
  
“Ass!”  
  
“No Dean. It’s Cas! You know this, or do I need to introduce myself again?” his straight face collapsed under the weight of the cheekiest grin he was sure he had ever pulled and Dean’s resolve cracked. He flung his head back and laughed loud and long.  
  
“DEAN WINCHESTER! I will keep you behind after school if you don’t keep it down boy.” Mrs Moseley shouted as she walked into her classroom.  
  
Cas giggled as Dean’s face turned a deep crimson, “Sorry Mrs Moseley.”  
  
At least he had the wherewithal to look suitably chastised Cas thought to himself as they both turned towards the front of the class. Mrs Moseley quickly moved on to addressing the class and Cas heard Dean breathe out a shallow sigh of relief. He turned to look at him and gave Dean an encouraging smile.  
  
They spent the rest of the lesson in silence. Every so often Cas would feel Dean’s eyes on him and he tried his best not to look up every time but Dean’s gravitational pull was strong, and Cas couldn’t help it.  
He was always met with a reserved smile, like Dean had something playing on his mind. Cas wanted to ask him about it but he knew it would be best to wait till the end of class. He didn’t even have chance to look up from his books when the bell rang before Dean verbally pounced on him.  
  
“Sooooo???”  
  
“So what Dean?” Cas looked over to Dean as they gathered their books together.  
  
“Come on man,” Dean let out an exasperated sigh, “What did Jo ask you?”  
  
“Oh that. Something about a party I think” he waved his hand nonchalantly.  
  
Dean’s face dropped, “You aren’t going?”  
  
“Ehh.”  
  
“Ehh? What does that even mean Cas?”  
  
“It means, Ehh,” Cas tried to stop the laughter that was bubbling up and threatening to spill over, “It’s just a random noise Dean. I don’t know what it means.”  
  
Dean spluttered and that tipped the proverbial bucket over making a loud guffaw slip out of Cas’ mouth. He reached over to squeeze Dean’s shoulder, “Of course I’m going Dean. You don’t need to look so worried.”  
  
Cas felt Dean lean ever so slightly into the touch, before he obviously realised what he was doing and straightened himself in his chair once more.  
  
“Really? You’re really going?” the glee on Dean’s face lit up the room. Cas was sure the whole of the US could be powered by it if they could just harness all that raw energy. It was a thing to behold, and Cas was thrilled to know that he had been the one to cause it.  
  
He smiled back at Dean, “I really am. Shocking I know. I can’t say that I’m thrilled about the theme but at least I know what it is.”  
  
“Ah man you totally have to go as your Angel namesake. That would be so freakin’ cool.”  
  
Cas paused, a wrinkle furrowing his brow as he thought about Dean’s suggestion, “You might be on to something there. I wonder if my Dad would help me out before he has to leave for his tour again. Hmmm I think I’ll ask him. Thanks Dean.”  
  
“S’ok man. I’m glad you’re going. Woulda sucked if you weren’t there.”  
  
“Would it?” Cas was feeling perplexed by Dean’s behaviour towards him, but he didn’t know how to ask Dean what was going on. First the debacle on his birthday, now this. _What next?_ He pondered as he stood up and stretched his tired limbs.  
  
“Of course it would Cas.” Dean’s response was straight to the point and Cas had no comeback. He would just have to see where things went from here.  
  
  
*******  
  
  
The night had started out great and he had been looking forward to the party all week if he was being honest with himself. It had taken most of the day for Gabe, Anna, and himself to get ready but it was worth it when they all did their final reveal to each other.  
  
It had been a bit of a struggle to fit all of their wings in Gabe’s car but they had somehow managed it. Cas was glad that the drive to the Roadhouse wasn’t too long though and he was relieved that even though none of them would be drinking he was the designated driver for later and that he wouldn’t be squished in the back seat with three different sets of wings on the way home.  
  
When they pulled into the parking lot there were already a fair few cars there.  
Cas recognized Charlie’s car, and Benny’s truck. He knew Michael would be arriving later but he was surprised that Dean’s car wasn’t there yet.  
Although Dean knew that he was coming as his namesake Angel he hadn’t shown him the finished costume and he had no idea what Dean would be coming as so he was eager for him to arrive. At least he could get back into his wings before Dean showed up.  
  
He gingerly climbed out of the car so as not to damage any of the wings and then ducked his head back in so he could pull them all out. He handed the relevant pairs over to Gabe and Anna and then slid his arms through the leather bindings of his own wings. He was thrilled with how they had turned out. His Dad had agreed to go shopping with them all before he headed back out on his book tour and they had spent hours at the local Michaels finding all the supplies they would need to craft three different sets of wings.  
  
Anna had pure white wings, and she had paired them with a long, white, flowing dress that had pearlescent beads stitched onto the fabric. Her hair was curled in loose waves and it fell across her shoulders just right. Cas thought that she looked radiant. Secretly he was hoping that Charlie would think so too.  
  
Gabe was dressed in a white robe with gold accents and it made Cas think of the Greek Gods, not that he would ever class Gabriel as a God. He had a gilded leaf crown resting precariously on his head, and his wings were white like Anna’s but interspersed with the white feathers were large golden ones. Cas wasn’t sure if he looked exactly like an Archangel should but it was a striking outfit nonetheless.  
  
Cas was most proud of his own outfit though. He was aiming for as close a representation of his namesake as he could so the clothes he was wearing made him look like a ‘holy tax accountant’.  
He had borrowed his Dad’s trench coat and it was just a little too large but quite comfortable, and just like the Angel in his Dad’s book series he was unable to tie his tie correctly. It always ended up backwards. He had a sneaking suspicion that his Dad had actually taken inspiration for that from him. He felt a little weird wearing a suit but for one night he could put up with it.  
The best part of his outfit was by far his wings though. He had spent hours crafting them. Unlike his siblings wings Cas’ were iridescent, inky black, and they had a slight mica shimmer over them that was reminiscent of a star dusted night sky. As Cas moved and the feathers in the wings fluttered there were subtle variations in the colour. When caught in the right light they were breath-taking and Cas was honestly quite astounded that he had managed to create something so beautiful. He was looking forward to seeing what everyone else thought of them.  
  
“Right guys, shall we go in then?” he looked expectantly at his brother and sister.  
  
“Yeh, I’m ready if you are?” Gabe was grinning like mad and it made Cas happy to see how easily his brother was settling in here. He knew that Gabe could be overbearing sometimes but that didn’t seem to bother any of the people they had met since moving here. It was a good thing.  
  
“Do I look ok?” Anna was looking down at herself, her voice quiet.  
  
Cas reached over and hooked a finger under her chin tilting her head up, “You look amazing Anna. Come on let’s go and see what everyone else is dressed as.” He took hold of her hand and gently pulled her towards the door.  
  
When they got inside they were hit by a wall of warmth, and sound. There were people everywhere. All of them talking excitedly.  
Cas was honestly surprised that he could hear anything over the music that was pumping loudly out of the jukebox.  
There were scattered little groups bouncing around together and he assumed they were dancing. Most of the booths were empty which was a relief to see because he certainly didn’t want to get dragged into dancing, his two left feet were not suited to that at all.  
  
“CAS” he spun round looking for the source of his name being shouted but it was hard to see people in the dim light, and almost impossible to tell who anyone was in their costumes.  
He heard his name again and happened to glance in the right direction this time. He saw a hand raised above the crowd waving him over.  
  
He turned to Gabe and Anna, “I think I’ve found Charlie.”  
  
“Cool. I’m gonna grab some drinks and I’ll be over soon” Gabe shooed them away with his hands as he walked towards the bar.  
  
“Come on Anna” Cas grabbed her hand again and headed in the direction he thought Charlie was. When they reached the largest booth in the Roadhouse they found Charlie, Benny, and Meg.  
  
Cas’ face broke out into a huge gummy smile, “Hey guys, you all look amazing,” his eyes drifted across them all, “So let me guess – Charlie, are you one of the ‘Ghostfacers’?”  
  
Charlie laughed happily, “You got it Cas. Well, kind of a mixture between the Ghostfacers and Ghostbusters I guess really. The Ghostfacers are kinda plain looking after all so we added some bells and whistles.”  
  
“Bells and whistles?” he tilted his head in confusion.  
  
“Not actual bells and whistles Clarence. She means she just jazzed her costume up a bit” Megs words may have seemed condescending however her tone was anything but and Cas smiled over at her.  
  
“Oh right. Of course. Thanks Meg. Well you look great Charlie.”  
  
“Thanks Cas. I know that Jo, Kevin, and Jess are coming in the same costumes so we have the whole team in case we need to fight any ghosts tonight.”  
  
“Ah yes. Good. At least we will be well protected then,” he turned his attention back to Meg, “so Meg, are you ‘Bloody Mary’?”  
  
“You really know your stuff Clarence.”  
  
Cas smiled, “I kind of have to, what with my Dad being the author of these books. It was the blood from your eyes that really gave it away though. Great job.”  
  
“Thanks Cas. I’m glad you approve.” Meg smiled at him and a wicked glint flashed over her face as her eyes raked over his costume.  
  
He quickly turned his attention to Benny, before Meg could say anything else, and he hummed a little. He wasn’t sure about Benny. He looked quite plain really, although plain in an 1800’s way not in a 2000’s way, his clothes were very old fashioned and he was wearing a Greek fisherman’s cap. Something was tickling at the back of Cas’ mind but he couldn’t quite place it. That is until Benny smiled at him. He gasped, “Vampire! It was on the tip of my tongue Benny. That is a really cool costume. You all look so good.”  
  
Benny’s laugh rumbled through the crowd, “I didn’t think ya were gonna get it Cas. These damn teeth are a burden though, even if they do look good when I flash ‘em. Speaking of things that look good…” he grinned wolfishly and winked.  
  
“W-what?” Cas stammered.  
  
“I’m messin’ with ya Cas. Give us a twirl. We wanna see those giant wings man. You too Anna.”  
  
“Oh. Right. Ok then.”  
  
Cas was glad to turn his back to them all for a second. He could get his pounding heart back under control. His blush however, well that was set for life as he listened to the whistles and cat-calls coming from behind him. He was about to turn back round to face the table when he looked up and saw Dean standing in front of him. His mouth hanging open as he stood there staring at Cas.  
  
“Hello Dean.”  
  
Dean seemed to snap out of the trance he had been in, and his mouth slammed closed, “Uh. H-hey Cas. You look amazing.”  
  
Cas couldn’t stifle the laugh that escaped him, “I look like a tax accountant with wings Dean. I wouldn’t say that’s amazing. I think those black contacts are screwing with your sight.”  
  
“Seriously dude, the look suits you. You look powerful.”  
  
“Oh. Hmm, well thank you Dean.”  
  
“Turn around then. Let me see those wings properly.”  
  
Cas turned and was surprised not only to see everyone watching their interaction studiously, but also to hear the sharp intake of breath from behind him. He visibly shuddered as he felt Deans hand slide through the feathers and trail down his back slightly.  
  
“Oh sorry man. I should’ve aske…”  
  
Cas cut him off, “It’s fine Dean, you just surprised me a bit.”  
  
“They just looked so soft. Can I?”  
  
“Of course.” Cas closed his eyes, worried that they would betray his feelings to the guys in front of him if he kept them open.  
  
“Yo Dean-o. Stop groping my brother wouldya.”  
  
Dean’s hand jerked away and it made Cas flinch, “I wasn’t groping him Gabriel. For God’s sake.”  
  
Cas turned to see Gabe walking towards them, Sam at his side. They were carrying a bunch of drinks between them. The smile on Gabe’s face made Cas want to punch him but he knew that would only cause all sorts of questions and that wasn’t something he wanted to deal with right now so he focussed his attention on Sam instead.  
  
“You look fantastic Sam. Are you Lucifer?” Sam was wearing a crisp white suit, with a single red rose in the breast pocket. His hair was slicked back. The whole outfit came together very well indeed. Cas was in awe.  
  
“I am. I wasn’t sure if anyone would get it or not though.” Sam replied timidly.  
  
“You’ve done a great job kiddo” Gabe smiled at Sam as he clapped him on his shoulder.  
  
“Thanks Gabe. So yeh. You guys all look awesome. I’m really glad you all came tonight. I know Jo is excited to see you all, she hasn’t shut up about this for days now.”  
  
“Thank you Sam. Where’s Jess? And Kevin?” Cas glanced around wondering if he had missed them whilst having that odd moment with Dean.  
  
“Jess is in the ladies, and last I heard from Kevin he was still arguing with his Mom about coming tonight. I hope he gets here soon.” Sam frowned, and glanced around the room. Cas hoped that Kevin was able to come, he didn’t like seeing Sam upset.  
  
“Alright bitches. Enough chit chat. Are we gonna have fun tonight or what??” Charlie’s excitement broke through the conversation and there was a resounding “Hell Yeh” from everyone.  
  
As they all squeezed into the booth Cas found himself wedged between Charlie and Meg, with Dean sat across from him. They were all happily talking away, reminiscing over what had happened at school during the week, and what they had been up to in the evenings. Charlie was suggesting that they should start having movie and pizza nights on a Friday after school and they could all sleep over if they wanted.  
  
“That sounds great Charles” Dean said, not taking his eyes away from Cas, “What do you think Cas?”  
  
“Uh. Yeh, I don’t see why not.”  
  
“Hey no offense Red but maybe we could have it at ours instead? We have a whole house to hang out in and our Dad is very rarely home.”  
  
Cas cursed under his breath at Gabe’s words, there would be no getting out of it now. Not that he really wanted to he guessed. He loved all his new friends. He was just finding it weird being around Dean since his birthday. He wasn’t sure what had happened but something had and he didn’t know how to cope with it. Dean was just, well he was treating Cas like they were in a relationship and it was becoming increasingly frustrating.  
  
“That’s actually a really good idea Gabe. Is that ok with you Anna? Cas?” Charlie asked looking between them. Cas saw Anna dip her head down but she also gave a quick nod and that was it, Cas knew that he had no choice.  
  
“Yeh it’s fine by me Charlie. But you will need to bring the movies, we don’t have many and I really don’t think we should rely on Gabriel’s collection,” He shuddered violently as he thought about that, “his movies are not suitable for anyone.”  
  
“Shut your face Cassie. Casa Erotica is high class I will have you know.”  
  
Cas heard Dean snort at that and he giggled himself.  
  
“Well I don’t even wanna know about all that,” Charlie squawked, “but you can count on me to bring some decent movies for us to watch. That’s settled then. Friday night movie nights at Hotel Novak.”  
  
With that Charlie got out of her seat and declared she was going to dance. Meg asked Cas to move so she could join her and in the end all the girls ended up in a circle, bouncing around together. Cas was happy to see Anna looking so carefree, he was pleased that she had managed to make some friends, and he was glad to see that Jess had been included in the group even though she was a few years younger than the rest of them.  
  
Gabe asked if anybody wanted another drink and when everyone said they would love one Benny agreed to go and help him carry them. Kevin had finally arrived during their conversation about movie night and he and Sam were now stood shoulder to shoulder at the jukebox picking out some new songs. That left Cas and Dean alone in the booth.  
  
“I like your costume Dean. I’m guessing you’re a Demon?”  
  
“Thanks Cas. Yeh I am. I kinda feel a little underdressed though. Everyone made such a big effort and I’m basically wearing my own clothes.”  
  
“I think you look good, that color suits you, and the black eyes are really effective.”  
  
“Thanks Cas. Your wings are fucking great man. Did you really make them yourself?”  
  
“I did. I’m glad you like them.” Cas smiled bashfully at Dean. His heart was fluttering in his chest and he felt lightheaded. He was spending so much time lately trying not to get his hopes up but tonight he just wanted to relax.  
  
Unfortunately he wasn’t able to relax for long. The party went on around them. Gabe and Benny came back with the drinks. Sam and Kevin came and sat down for a bit before getting up to dance with the girls. At some point during the night Lisa turned up and dragged Dean away to dance for a while. Charlie tried to get Cas to dance and eventually her insistence paid off but after one dance with them all he slid back into the booth. He was quite content to sit and people watch, and have conversations when someone came to sit back down again.  
  
He finally got to meet Benny’s girlfriend Andrea when she arrived unexpectedly. He found her to be quite fascinating. She was of Greek heritage, her great-great grandparents had moved to America whilst still young, she told him that she tries to spend time in Greece every year to visit with her extended family. Cas thought that she was very beautiful and he could see that Benny was rapidly falling in love with her. It warmed his heart to think that his friend had already found such happiness. He smiled when Benny offered her his hand and asked if she would like to dance. She looked over at Cas and he waved them away saying that he was fine where he was.  
  
Meg and Jo came and sat next to him for a while, both complaining that they couldn’t keep up with Charlie and Anna. They all but pushed him into the corner of the booth and then five minutes later they were gone again. Cas breathed a sigh of relief till he felt another warm body land next to him.  
  
“Casssss. Buddy. You havin’ a goo, a good night?” Dean slurred loudly in Cas’ ear.  
  
Cas turned to face Dean, leaning back as he did so, “Are you drunk Dean?”  
  
“Noooo. I’m not druuuunkk. Why wouldya think that?”  
  
“Oh I don’t know. Maybe the slurred speech gave it away.” His eyebrows raised as he glared at Dean.  
  
“Ya c-caught me. I mi-might have had a little drink.”  
  
Cas worried his lower lip. _Where the hell did he get alcohol?  
  
_Dean hiccupped and Cas tried to move further away but was blocked by the wall.  
  
“Dean. Are you ok? You’re not gonna be sick or anything?”  
  
“Noooo I’m fiiiiiine Cas. Jus a little tipsy. Lis bring- uh br-brought a flask of wuhisky with h-her.”  
  
_Goddammit. Lisa. I should have known.  
  
_Cas tried to signal to the guys out on the dancefloor but it took ages before anyone noticed him. Eventually Jo came over to see what the fuss was.  
  
“What’s up Cas?”  
  
“Can you get some water for Dean please Jo? I’m kinda trapped, and he really needs some.”  
  
“Is he ok? Dean? Are you ok?”  
  
Cas watched as Dean looked up at Jo, his eyes glassy and unfocussed, “Jooooo! You’re sho cute Jo.”  
  
“Shit is he drunk Cas?”  
  
“Yes. It seems Lisa snuck some alcohol in.”  
  
“Fuck my Ma will kill me if she finds out. She’ll kill Dean if she finds out. I’ll go and get some water, can you keep him here?”  
  
Cas grimaced, “I don’t think that will be a problem,” he gestured at Dean who was now leaning in towards Cas running his fingers through the feathers he could reach.  
  
Jo laughed, “Sorry Cas. He gets a bit touchy-feely if he drinks. I won’t be long. Hopefully he isn’t too far gone and some water will sober him up quickly.”  
  
“Thanks Jo.” Cas watched her go before his eyes drifted back towards Dean who had stopped stroking his wings and was now resting with his head on his arm spread across the table, his eyes glued to Cas.  
  
“You look really g-good tonight Cas. The wings suit you. You’re l-like an Angel,” Dean chuckled as something Cas couldn’t name flitted across his features, “Huh Angel.”  
  
Cas wasn’t sure what to say to that so he just gently patted the shoulder that wasn’t stuck under Deans head, “Jo will be back with some water in a minute Dean.”  
  
When Jo came back they had to prop Dean up so he could take a drink. He hiccupped half way through the glass and Cas thought for sure he was going to be sick all over the table but thankfully the moment passed and Dean managed to finish the water without any trouble. Jo went to fetch another glass and then when she was sure that Dean was going to be ok she went back to the group of friends upon Cas’ insistence. He didn’t want her to miss out on her own party just because Dean was an idiot.  
  
He shifted in his seat but that only made things worse. _How the fuck did I get here?_ Cas sighed again. Maybe for the hundredth time that night. Not that he didn’t actually know how he had gotten there, tucked away in a corner booth at the Roadhouse. Dressed like a goddamn Angel of the Lord. He knew that perfectly well. That was all Jo’s fault. Her and her stupid Halloween party.  
  
Regardless he couldn’t blame Jo for him being pinned between the wall, and a very drunk Dean who was currently pushed up tight against his side though. He certainly couldn’t blame her for the fact that Dean was fondling his wings.  
  
Cas’ whole body was tense. He reasoned that this must be what it feels like to be a wild animal trapped in a cage, one false move and everything could come undone.  
  
Every time Dean’s fingers grazed through the fake feathers they inevitably ran down Cas’ back and it was rapidly becoming unbearable. His skin was on fire and it felt so goddamn good. He had tried to subtly move Dean away but the guy was so damn clingy when he was drunk. He had spent the better part of the past hour trapped like this. His mind short circuiting over and over again.  
  
Dean’s knee knocked against Cas’ thigh as Dean turned even further towards him. Personal space be damned tonight it seemed. Cas’ breath hitched as Dean’s fingers grazed over his thigh.  
   
_How is he still drunk?_ He risked a glance at Dean and the world tilted on its axis when he saw the look on Dean’s face.  
His cheeks had a ruddy glow to them which Cas had originally attributed to the alcohol, but one look into Dean’s eyes made him think otherwise.  
His normally bright green eyes were being overshadowed by the black depths of his pupils, his heavy eyelids making them even darker, there was a look of what Cas could only describe as lust in those eyes and he had to take a few deep breaths to try and quell the impending panic attack.  
  
“Dean. What are you doing?” he was relieved that his voice didn’t waiver, despite the nerves that were zipping through his body.  
  
Dean dipped his head in close to Cas’ ear, his breath ghosting over the exposed flesh of Cas’ neck as he said, “You really do look good tonight Cas. Kinda distracting to be honest.”  
  
“W-what do you mean?”  
  
“I mean, I can’t seem to focus on anything but you, you and those damn wings. They are beautifu…”  
  
“Yo Dean-o. Gettin’ a little close to my baby bro there ain’t ya buddy?” Gabe’s voice stopped Dean in his tracks. He didn’t sound angry but there was an undercurrent of warning in his tone and as Dean moved away to focus on Gabe Cas let out the breath he had involuntarily been holding.  
  
Dean flung his arm around Cas’ shoulder and beamed at Gabe, “Jus’ makin’ sure my best friend’s enjoyin’ himself **_Gabriel._** Or do I need your permission for that now?”  
  
“Come on guys. Gabe, Dean, I’m fine. Chill out. Both of you.”  
  
“Well then. I’m gonna go find Sammy.” Dean slid out of the booth and wandered off into the darkened room without so much as a backwards glance.  
  
“You sure you’re alright Cassie?”  
  
“Jeez Gabe. Yes. I’m fine. Look Dean is just a bit drunk ok. And apparently he gets overly friendly when drunk, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”  
  
“I just worry about you ya know. After everything that’s happened. You’re my baby bro, bro. I gotta look out for you. And if that means kicking Dean Winchesters ass then that’s what I gotta do.”  
  
Cas laughed as he recognised the mirth dancing in Gabe’s eyes.  
  
“I know you can take care of yourself. I just want you to know that if ya need me then ya just have to say, ok?”  
  
“Thanks Gabe. I appreciate it. Everything is fine tonight though. I promise.” Cas smiled at Gabe hoping that his brother would believe the partial truth. He wasn’t ready to truly think about his feelings for Dean yet, or to think about what Dean had just said to him. He just wanted to enjoy the rest of the party, “How’s Anna doing?”  
  
Gabe glanced around the room before he answered, “She’s having fun Cassie. Like you should be,” Gabe held out his hand to Cas, “Come on. Up you get. It’s time you joined us in bouncing around like idiots. I’m gonna get us a couple of those delicious mocktails Ellen made.”  
  
Cas grumbled, but still took hold of Gabe’s hand and allowed him to pull him out of the booth. Gabe dropped his hand and waved him towards Anna and the rest of the gang before heading towards the bar for the drinks.  
  
  
“Hey Cas,” Charlie ran up to him and flung her arms round his neck, “are you having a nice time?”  
  
He chuckled at her enthusiasm and rolled his eyes as he said “I guess so. Gabe told me I had to come and dance with you all though.”  
  
“WOOHOO”  
  
“Charlie, god, did you have to squeal in my ear?” he rubbed at his ear with his palm but couldn’t stop the grin as Charlie pouted at him.  
  
“Sorry Cas. I was a little loud wasn’t I?” she glanced down at her feet sheepishly and Cas had to reach out to tilt her face up so she was looking at him again.  
  
“It’s fine Charlie, it’s not the worst thing that’s happened to me tonight” he looked around the room, his eyes landing on Dean who was once again stood with Lisa, his arm slung around her shoulders and his head tilted in towards her. Sighing deeply he turned back to face Charlie, seeing that she was also looking at Dean he tried to joke, “at least if you deafen me I won’t be able to hear him for the rest of the night.”  
  
“I’m sorry Cas. I love Dean but sometimes he can be an idiot.”  
  
Having no response to that he just held his hand out to her, “So my Queen, may I have the honour of having this dance?”  
  
Charlie giggled and curtsied at him before taking his hand and dragging him into the throng of friends. He risked one more look back at Dean and almost stumbled when he saw Dean’s eyes laser focused on him before he dipped his head and kissed Lisa’s neck.  
  
_Fuck this. Fuck him.  
  
_Cas’ mind was reeling as he was pulled into the sweaty, bouncing, excited throng of his friends.  
  
_Fuck Dean Winchester.  
  
_He allowed his friends to draw him in. Their carefree happiness started to overtake the storm within his own mind and he gradually pushed thoughts of Dean and how he had been acting towards him to the back of his consciousness. He was enjoying himself. Immensely. Lost in the music and the sway of bodies pressed together through nothing more than a desire to be close and let loose.  
  
If nothing else Cas was happy in the moment. Happy that they had moved here, and happy that he had made friends despite his awkwardness and rusty social skills.  
He felt like he had been happily bouncing around for hours, he could feel the sweat rolling down over his shoulder blades, and his wings were starting to get heavy. He excused himself from his friends and stripped his wings off laying them across the seat in the booth they had commandeered, along with his trench coat. He walked quickly across the room to the restrooms, not wanting to leave the party for too long. He was having too much fun.  
  
“Cas, hey buddy how are you? What happened to your wings?”  
  
He jumped a little in surprise at the greeting as he had been lost in his own world, but smiled happily when he noticed that it was just Sam, “Hello Sam. I’m hot.” He moved across to the sinks and ran the cold water, splashing it over his face.  
  
Sam snickered at Cas’ response, “Well, I mean – I don’t, uh, I don’t swing that way but sure you’re hot I guess. Just don’t tell Dea…”  
  
“No. Sam. I meant I’m warm, like heat hot,” Cas quickly interrupted Sam’s stream of consciousness, before registering what Sam had been about to say, “Don’t tell Dean what Sam?”  
  
“Ooohh, ok. Well yeh, it is pretty hot in here tonight. Soo, I’m just gonna…” Cas watched as Sam trailed off, pointing over his shoulder, “uh head back out there then. See ya.”  
  
“Sam, wait, don’t tell Dean what?” his question fell on deaf ears, as the door swung shut behind Sam, leaving Cas alone in the restroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, “Don’t tell Dean what?” he mumbled to himself.  
As he resignedly dried his face off he heard a commotion outside the door, he stilled his movements so he could listen better and was shocked to hear Jo’s voice rising over the din of the music.  
  
“Dammit Dean…at the hell do you thin…re doing?”  
  
_Shit, what’s going on now?  
  
_“NO DEA…You…unk. Shit let go of it…Lisa you nee…leave. Righ…ow.”  
  
Cas pulled the door of the restroom open, he had no idea what he would see but he didn’t expect to find Jo trying to wrestle Lisa’s hip flask from Dean’s grip. A battle that he was sure she would end up losing if it went on much longer.  
  
“DEAN! STOP IT.” He had shouted before his mind realised what his mouth was doing. The effect was instantaneous though. Dean stopped in his tracks and turned to stare at Cas slack jawed with drooping eyes. Cas flinched at the sight.  
  
He held his hand out to Dean, “Give me the flask Dean.” His tone left no room for disobedience and he was pleased to see Dean drop his eyes and sheepishly hand the flask over.  
He shoved it towards Lisa. His voice sure and steady but barely hiding the venom that was coursing through his veins, “I think you need to leave. Now.”  
  
She took the flask, and before she could protest being kicked out, Jo had turned back towards her poking a finger at her chest and pushing her back towards the door saying “I don’t know what you thought you were doing bringing alcohol here Lisa, you may have been welcome earlier but you sure as hell aren’t welcome now. You need to leave.”  
  
Lisa stood just in front of the door, “Dean?”  
  
The knowledge of the fight must have finally reached their group who had been on the other side of the Roadhouse, because they had all made their way over, “Oh no you don’t missy. You’ve caused enough trouble tonight as it is. You should go home now Lisa before you make more of a mess.” Benny left no room for argument and Lisa harrumphed before turning and storming out of the bar.  
  
People began to disperse back into the party but the group of friends all remained gathered around Dean and Jo.  
  
“You ok Jo?” Cas reached out to her tentatively, not really sure what he was doing, but wanting to offer some kind of comfort anyway. His hand landed softly on her shoulder.  
  
She reached up wrapping her fingers around his and gave them a quick squeeze, “I’m fine Castiel. Thank you,” she sighed deeply before continuing, “just a little bit pissed at my brother here.”  
  
“I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER.” Dean’s words were slurred but everyone could hear the venom in them. Cas sucked in a sharp breath.  
  
“Dean don…” he started before Jo cut him off.  
  
“It’s fine Castiel. I know Dean doesn’t mean it…”  
  
Dean’s voice cut through again, “Yes I do.”  
  
“As I was saying,” she glared at Dean whilst speaking, “I know Dean doesn’t mean it. He’s just a grumpy asshole when he wants to be,” she turned back towards Cas then, “everything will be fine Castiel. Trust me. I know Dean, and I know once he has slept this off he will come and say sorry,” turning back to Dean she spoke again, punctuating her next words with light shoves to Deans chest, “Because. He. Doesn’t. Mean. It.”  
  
“Benny?”  
  
“Yeh Jo, what do you want me to do?”  
  
“Can you just stay here with Dean for a minute please? I need to speak to Castiel privately.”  
  
Cas gulped, worried that he had done something to piss Jo off too, she could be pretty fiery when she needed to be and he didn’t ever want to incur her wrath.  
He didn’t hear Benny’s reply as Jo had taken him by the shoulder and steered him away from the crowd towards an empty booth. She pushed him lightly to make him sit down and then slid into the seat opposite him.  
Cas looked over at her, his nerves building with every second that she remained silent. When she tipped her head back and rubbed her hands over her eyes he couldn’t take it anymore.  
  
“Jo? Did I, uh, have I done something wrong?”  
  
Her head snapped back down and she looked at him with a mixture of confusion and compassion. It didn’t settle Cas’ nerves at all. He gulped again, his mouth suddenly feeling incredibly dry.  
  
“What? No. Why would you think that?”  
  
“Uh, just you kinda dragged me over here and I mean I know you’re pissed with Dean, but I dunno. I guess I just thought I had done something too. Sorry.”  
  
“God no Cas. Castiel, sorry. You haven’t done anything, just that idiot brother of mine.”  
  
“Oh. Ok,” Cas chuckled, relieved upon hearing that, “You can call me Cas if you want to Jo. I don’t mind. Sooo, you wanted to talk to me?”  
  
Jo looked down at the table, her fingers fiddling with the edging strip.  
  
“Jo?”  
  
“Look Cas, I am really sorry to have to ask you this. I can’t imagine you’re too happy with Dean tonight either, what with how you feel about him.” She stopped abruptly as Cas managed to choke on the air he had just breathed in.  
  
“Wh-what do you mean? I d-don’t…”  
  
“Oh come on Cas. Just because we haven’t known you guys for very long doesn’t mean that we don’t notice stuff. And really, it’s fine. You won’t ever get any judgment from any of us – well, actually I might judge you for liking Dean because he is an idiot, but definitely not for you being gay.”  
  
Cas slumped in his seat, “Do you think he knows?” his voice was quiet, laced with defeat.  
  
Jo stretched over the table to rub his shoulder, “No. Look Dean is smart, he really is, despite the fact that he has been a total idiot tonight, but there are some things he just ain’t so smart about. I know for a fact he hasn’t picked up on how you really feel about him. I don’t even think he has realised you are into guys, so please don’t worry ok? If you ever feel ready to tell him then we’re all behind you 100%, but that’s your call, not ours.”  
  
“Thanks Jo,” he finally managed to drag his eyes back up to Jo’s face and he couldn’t help the crooked grin as he saw the truth behind her words reflected in her eyes, “that means a lot to me. You said you needed to ask me something though, what was it?”  
  
“Shit, I honestly wouldn’t ask if I had another choice. I don’t wanna land you with this, but Dean can’t go back home in this state. Bobby would flip his shit, and my Ma would be even worse. Would it be ok for Dean to stay at yours tonight? I totally get it if you don’t feel comfortable with that though. I can figure something else out.”  
  
“It’s ok Jo. Of course he can stay at ours. I, oh, we don’t really have room in the car though, not with all our damn wings.”  
  
“You could leave them here? If that’s ok. I can put them in my Ma’s office, it’ll be locked so they will be safe, and then you could get them tomorrow? I mean, if that’s ok?”  
  
“Hmm, yes that sounds agreeable, I am going to have to bring Dean back here tomorrow to pick up Baby anyway aren’t I? I’ll have to let Gabe and Anna know what’s happening. Maybe we should head out now.”  
  
They both stood and stepped out of the booth, “Are you sure you’re ok with this Cas?”  
  
“Of course Jo. Dean is my friend, no matter how much of an idiot he is. I am happy to help.”  
  
He let out a surprised gasp as Jo flung herself at him, “Thanks Cas. You’re the best. He doesn’t know what he’s missin’” She mumbled into his shoulder.  
  
Cas huffed a laugh at that, “You’re welcome. Come on let’s go and get Gabe and Anna, and then we can get out of your hair. I’m sorry if Dean ruined tonight for you Jo. I know how excited you were for this.”  
  
Jo just shrugged and Cas wondered, not for the first time tonight, how often Dean got like this.  
  
They found Gabe and Anna still stood with the group gathered around Dean. Cas got their attention and pulled them away whilst Jo went to talk to Benny and Dean.  
  
“Jo has asked if we can take Dean to ours tonight and I said it would be fine. Are you guys ok with that?” his eyes flicked between his brother and sister hoping that they would be fine.  
  
Anna screwed her face up but said so long as she didn’t have to look after him it was fine.  
  
“Are you sure about this Cassie? He’s been a bit of a dick tonight.”  
  
“I’m sure Gabe. He is my friend, and I’ll do what I can to help. Will you stand by me?”  
  
“You know I will. I may not feel so friendly towards him at the minute, but that’s my problem, not yours. We have the guest room so it’s fine. Does this mean we’re leaving now though?” Gabe looked at him expectantly.  
  
“I’m afraid so. I don’t want him to ruin Jo’s night any more than he already has, and if I go with him now and leave you both here then you’re stuck. Sorry guys.”  
  
“No worries Cassie. Come on then let’s, oh, shit. What about our costumes?”  
  
“Jo said we can leave the wings here, she’s gonna lock them in her Mom’s office and I can pick them up tomorrow when I bring Dean back.”  
  
“Oh, ok. Cool. Let’s go then. Do you need some help with Dean?”  
  
“Nah, it’s fine you two go and get the car started and I’ll be there in a few minutes.”  
  
Cas waved his siblings off and headed back towards where Jo was dealing with Dean. He squared his shoulders and held his head high. Sure Dean had been pretty odd so far tonight but he didn’t need to show him that it had affected him. He would get Dean back to his house, get him into the spare bed, and then he could relax.  
  
“Everything ok Jo?” he spoke up as he got closer.  
  
“As good as it’s gonna get thanks Cas. You sure this is ok?”  
  
“It’s fine, I promise,” Cas slid in next to Jo and let her drape Dean’s arm over his shoulders before circling his free arm around Dean’s back, “What time should I bring him back?”  
  
“Is 11 gonna be ok?”  
  
“Yeh that’s fine. See you tomorrow Jo,” he started to walk towards the door, Dean leaning heavily against him but not hindering his movements too much, “See you guys later.”  
  
He smiled to himself as a chorus of goodbyes rang out, and he waved his hand in farewell once they were out in the parking lot.  
  
“Come on then Dean, let’s get you home."  
  
A muffled grunt came from Dean and Cas was thankful that he didn’t say anything more. He took his time walking to the car, Dean was heavy when drunk but they made it without incident. Getting him in the car was a bit harder and he flinched when there was a solid thwack as Dean’s head banged against the door surround as he slid onto the back seat.  
  
“Ouch. Ya tryin’a kill me Cas?”  
  
“Sorry Dean. You can have some aspirin when we get back. That’ll help.”  
  
Cas was relieved when Gabe’s hand reached into the back and held Dean steady so Cas could close the door without Dean toppling back out of the car. Once that was done he made his way to the other side and climbed in next to Dean, “Sorry you’ve gotta drive again Gabe.”  
  
“S’ok baby bro, you just make sure Dean doesn’t throw up back there ok?”  
  
“I’ll do my best.”  
  
Dean drifted off during the ride home and Cas was grateful for the silence. This wasn’t the ideal situation for him and he didn’t really want to speak to Dean whilst he was still drunk. He just really wanted to get home and forget that most of the night had happened. It had all been a little too surreal for him.  
  
He breathed out a sigh of relief when Gabe finally pulled into their driveway. Now all he had to do was get Dean out of the car, into the house, and into bed. He could sleep in his costume for all Cas cared. Single mindedly that was what he focussed on. Getting Dean out of the car and into the house was easy, other than it waking Dean back up enough that he then took control of where he was going and headed straight for Cas’ bedroom.  
  
“Dean. No. Not my room,” He had only turned his back for a second but apparently that was long enough for Dean to make the decision of sleeping in Cas’ bed. He chased after him but was a fraction too late and when he reached his room Dean was already laying on his bed, the covers half wrapped around him, “Dammit Dean.” He shook his head and exited his room. He went back downstairs to grab a glass of water and some aspirin and found Gabe and Anna sitting at the kitchen table.  
  
“Everything alright Castiel?” Anna spoke through a yawn.  
  
He huffed out a bitter laugh, “Other than Dean commandeering my bed yes. I’m gonna take these up and then go to bed myself. I guess I’ll be in the spare room if either of you need me.”  
  
“Sure you’re ok Cassie?” A look of concern was plastered over Gabe’s face.  
  
“I’m fine. Tired. Uh, I’m probably gonna go for a run in the morning, so if Dean wakes up before I’m back just keep an eye on him for me please?”  
  
“K. Try and get a good nights sleep. See you tomorrow.”  
  
Cas turned as he reached the door and gave a half smile, “Thanks, night guys.”  
  
He slowly traipsed back up the stairs, hoping that Dean was sound asleep. He crept into his room and placed the water and aspirin on the bedside table before going to his chest of drawers and pulling out a pair of clean pj’s. He crept back to the door and it was purely because he was being so quiet that he even heard Dean as he mumbled, “G’night Cas. You’re the best.”  
  
He didn’t turn around, nor did he respond, just pulled the door to behind him and quickly headed for the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and did his best to not think about the party before climbing into the shower and allowing the hot water to relax him fully. After he was done he poured himself into his pyjamas and finally made it to the spare room where he collapsed into bed. The shower had done the trick and he was asleep shortly after.  
  
  
*******  
  
  
“Turn the light off.”  
  
“Please, it’s too fucking bright.” His voice crackling like dried up leaves on the ground during fall.  
  
“Sammy?”  
  
Dean yanked the pillow he was resting on, out from under his head and dropped it over his eyes. _Why is the fucking light on? And why is nobody answering me?  
  
_He spent a few minutes lying with the pillow over his face before gingerly lifting it a couple of inches and slowly cracking an eyelid open.  
  
“Samm…” he trailed off as the room before him swam into focus, “Oh Shit. Shiiiiit. This, this isn… I’m at Cas’?” he slowly pushed himself up so he was sitting, “Oh no. No, no, no. Fuck. Why am I in Cas’ bed?” fear settled rapidly in the pit of his stomach as he tried to get his thoughts into gear.  
The pounding in his head didn’t help. Slowly he glanced to the bed next to him, afraid of what he might find, but there was nothing there. He let out a shallow, choked sound which made his head throb more. “Fuck, ow. What in the hell happened to me?”  
  
He delicately swung his legs over the side of the bed, the room moved around him and for a horrible moment he thought he was going to be sick. The wave of nausea passed though and he cracked his eyes open once more, a glinting in the corner of his eyes caught his attention and he almost wept with relief when he noticed the full glass of water and aspirin. He popped a couple of the pills, and downed the glass of water in one.  
  
Once he felt slightly more like a regular human and not a dried up husk of one he risked trying to stand up, the need to relieve himself was becoming more insistent with every second that ticked by. Thankfully he knew the way to Cas’ bathroom with his eyes closed so he was able to stumble there without knocking himself out.  
  
Being hungover was not his friend, he couldn’t really remember much about the night before and he certainly had no idea how he had ended up in his best friends bed but that wasn’t something he was willing to dwell on whilst his head felt like someone had a jackhammer in there. His throat was dry, his eyes bleary, and he was as uncoordinated as fuck resulting in him almost slipping over in the shower. Instead he just banged his head on the wall and pulled his shoulder muscles trying to keep himself upright and alive. “Jesus. Fuck. Come on Winchester, pull it together.” He berated himself, stepping under the refreshing spray of water once more. Not wanting to risk falling over again he rinsed himself off quickly and cut his shower short, carefully stepping back onto dry land.  
  
“Dammit. Shit.” He cursed to himself, looking around the room for a clean towel.  
With none to be found he resigned himself to using Cas’ towel. He really didn’t want to touch Gabe’s, and it felt far too wrong to use Anna’s. He dried off quickly, definitely not breathing in the lingering scent of Cas as he rubbed the towel over his face and hair, before dropping it into the laundry basket.  
He pulled his clothes from the night before back on and gagged at the smell of sweat and whisky that permeated them.  
Briefly he contemplated going back into Cas’ room and borrowing some of his clothes, but he already felt weird enough about not knowing what had happened the night before as it was. He didn’t want to compound that feeling any more than absolutely necessary. So he made his way downstairs instead, he could hear quiet chatter coming from the kitchen, and he took a few steadying breaths before he ventured in there.  
  
“Well, well, well, lookie what we have here” the sass in Gabe’s voice made him shudder involuntarily.  
  
“Gabe. Morning Anna,” he glanced around the kitchen, “where’s Cas?”  
  
“Surely you should know Deano. You’re the one that spent the night in his bed after all.”  
  
Dean slumped into a spare seat at the kitchen table and held his head in his hands, a barely audible growl slipped past his lips, “Did, uh, shit. Fuck Gabe. I don’t remember what happened last night.”  
  
Gabe barked out a harsh laugh, “You were drunk Dean, like really drunk. I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”  
  
He looked up at Gabe, the worry that was already settled deep inside him spread its wings as he took in the stormy look on Gabe’s face. He quickly glanced at Anna, but her head was hung low, her hair covering her face. Resolutely he turned back to Gabe, “What did I do?”  
  
“You upset a whole bunch of people Dean. What were you thinking?”  
  
Dean sighed bone deep and soul weary, but before he had a chance to speak Gabe continued.  
  
“You were fine when you got to the party. Then Lisa arrived, with alcohol, and it seems like you pretty much drank it all.”  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
“Yeh - fuck. I don’t know the full extent of what happened but you were super clingy with Cassie, well except for when you were sucking face with Lisa,” Gabe’s tone turned sharp, “like you couldn’t make your mind up where you wanted to be, or more precisely who you wanted to be with. It came to a head when Jo tried to get Lisa’s hip flask off you. Cassie broke you two up and thank god he did, Jo is a firecracker but you were drunk and determined. You told Jo that you weren’t her brother.”  
  
“Shit, no. She is gonna be so pissed at me.”  
  
“Uh-huh, too damn right she is, and you deserve it. Then Jo asked Cassie if he wouldn’t mind you crashing here for the night because she thought Ellen, and probably Bobby, would lose their shit over you being drunk. Aaannnd Castiel being the good guy he is of course said that it was fine.”  
  
Dean dropped his head against the table, embarrassed and angry with himself. _Dammit. How does C_ as _not hate me?  
  
_“How did I end up in Cas’ bed?” It wasn’t a question he wanted to ask but he needed to know. He needed to know that he hadn’t done anything else really stupid. That his friendship with Cas wasn’t beyond repair.  
  
“I don’t know. He got you upstairs and then came back down a few minutes later disgruntled because you had stolen his bed.”  
  
“Did he, um, shit… D-did we, uh did I?”  
  
“Did he what Dean? Did you fuck? Is that what you’re asking me?” Gabe sounded beyond pissed now and Dean couldn’t blame him. Not after the shit he had pulled.  
  
“No. Uh yes. I dunno Gabe, just tell me I haven’t fucked up the best friendship I have ever had. Please. I know I’m a mess but shit if I hurt Cas I nee…”  
  
Gabe cut him off, “Woah, Dean. Calm down. You haven’t fucked anything up, sure people might be pissed at you for a while but none of this is irreparable. And before you get your panties in anymore of a twist, Cassie slept in the spare room last night.”  
  
Deans breath shuddered out of him, “Where is he?”  
  
“He went for a run.”  
  
“Oh. Ok.”  
  
“Yeh, it helps him work through things that are bothering him. Maybe it’s something you should try.”  
  
A dry, sharp sound, nothing at all like a laugh came from Dean, “Yeh maybe I should. Do, do you know when he will be back? Should I make myself scarce before he gets back?”  
  
“He probably won’t be much longer, he’s been out for a couple of hours already. No, he needs to take you back to the Roadhouse and pick our costumes back up anyway. Everything will be fine Dean. Now do you want some breakfast?”  
  
He weighed up the options trying to decide whether his stomach could handle any food, before he had settled on a decision a voice broke through his cloudy thoughts.  
  
“Eggs and toast would be best for him Gabriel.”  
  
Dean spun on his seat, grabbing onto the table top to steady himself. Cas was bent over taking his running shoes off and Dean was grateful that he could compose himself before his friend stood back up to face him.  
  
“How are you feeling Dean?”  
  
“Uh. Hey Cas,” He tore his eyes away from Cas and the inscrutable look on his face, “I-I’m good thanks. A bit dizzy, but good.”  
  
“That’s good,” Cas turned away from him then and went to stand next to Gabe, “What are we having? I’m starving.”  
  
Dean watched the two brothers, unsure what he should do or say. He grinned as Gabe snorted a laugh at Cas though.  
  
“Yeh a, what, almost 3 hour run will do that to a guy. Bacon and Eggs alright with you?”  
  
Cas hummed a happy little sigh, “Sounds great Gabe, thanks. I’m gonna take a quick shower whilst you get it ready,” he turned towards Dean then, a look of mischief on his face and Dean gulped, “No bacon for Dean though.”  
  
“Wha…why not?” he couldn’t help the pout that came through in his voice.  
  
“Because you are going to be too dehydrated for that Dean.” Cas said giving him a pointed look before patting his shoulder as he walked back out of the kitchen.  
  
“Gabe? Please?” he knew he sounded small but he was hungover, and confused, and bacon really was what he wanted.  
  
“Nuh-huh. Cassie will have my head if I go against him. And you,” Gabe turned towards him waving the spoon he was holding, “well, I think if you were to have any he would just be disappointed with you. I’m really not sure that’s something you want to feel.”  
  
“Ugh Fine.” Gabe was right, he didn’t really want to disappoint Cas. At least not any more than he feared he already had.  
  
Dean watched for a while as Gabe cooked and plated up the food whilst they waited for Cas to come back down. It wasn’t long before his mind drifted and the sights and sounds of the kitchen were lost to him though.  
Deans head was still spinning, worried that he was rapidly fucking everything up. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even hear Cas come into the kitchen and he very nearly fell from his seat when a plate piled high with toast and scrambled eggs was placed in front of him.  
  
He grimaced at himself as he heard the three of them laugh at his reaction. Looking up he found Cas staring at him, mirth dancing behind the carefully constructed façade of innocence, “Shit Cas. I thought it was the bacon that was supposed to give me a heart attack, not you.” He muttered, attempting to deflect some of his embarrassment.  
  
“Sorry Dean.” Cas shrugged before turning back to Gabe for his own plate of food.  
  
Dean looked on longingly. Cas had bacon, and French toast, as well as eggs. He would deny it well past his very last breath if anyone ever mentioned the whimper that escaped him at the sight of what Cas was about to tuck into.  
  
He knew he looked pathetic as he glared down at his own food, pushing it around with his fork. The gods must have been shining down on him though because it only took a couple of minutes for Cas to place two pieces of crispy bacon on to his plate. He glanced up quickly, a question in his eyes. Cas just gave him a small smile before continuing the conversation he was having with his siblings. Dean hadn’t been paying attention and as nobody seemed to want to drag him into the conversation he realised that was all he was going to get out of his friend so he turned back to his food. He ate in silence and by the time he was done he felt much better. Even offering to tackle the pots as a thank you but Cas cut him short saying that he had told Jo he would have him back at the Roadhouse for 11. As it was already half past 10 Dean acquiesced. He didn’t want to upset Jo any more than he already had.  
  
“Thanks for the breakfast Gabe, and uh, well letting me crash here man. I appreciate it.”  
  
“It’s fine Deano. Catch you later.”  
  
“Ok. Well, bye then. Bye Anna.”  
  
“Take care Dean,” she waved at him as he walked towards the front door, and then shouted “Don’t forget the wings Castiel.”  
  
Cas smiled back at her as he pulled his shoes on, “I won’t. I’ll be back soon.”  
  
The front door closing behind them felt like a death knell, and something bitter settled itself inside Dean’s chest. He felt like he was losing the tenuous grasp he still had on the few remaining good things in his life, he stumbled down the porch steps and expected to find himself sprawled across the floor a second later. The impact never arrived though, a pair of strong hands gripped tight to his shoulders holding him up.  
  
“Dean? Are you ok?”  
  
He closed his eyes, and drew in a deep shuddering breath.  
  
“Dean, please? Look at me.”  
  
He opened his eyes slowly, his vision was blurry but came back into sharp focus when one of Cas’ hands left his shoulder and tilted his chin up, “Are you ok Dean?”  
  
The concern on Cas’ face, and the worry in his voice broke something inside him. He felt it, a hairline fracture in the protective casing he had built around his heart.  
  
“I’m ok Cas. I-I just went a bit dizzy for a minute there. I’m good now though.”  
  
He wanted to turn away from Cas, to not have to see the worry, but the oceanic depths of Cas’ eyes held him fast, “Are you sure? Do you want to go back inside?”  
  
“Nah. It’s fine Cas really. I feel better now, thanks though,” He did his best to smile at his friend, he felt like it was more of a grimace than a smile but it seemed to work as Cas let go of him and turned back towards the car.  
He stood and breathed deeply for a minute whilst Cas got in and started the car up, when he heard the door slam closed he broke into action and made his way to the passenger side.  
  
Thankfully Cas seemed to be fine driving in silence. Dean was grateful for the quiet. The drive to the Roadhouse wasn’t long, but it took enough time for him to glance over at Cas at least a hundred times and be caught looking around half of them.  
He knew he needed to say something – say sorry, for the way he had acted the previous night, but most of it was still a blur and he didn’t want to come off as being a fake asshole when Cas inevitably called him out on not knowing what he was apologising for.  
He spent his time worrying over what to say and before he knew it they had pulled into the parking lot and Cas had cut the engine. The silence that surrounded them now, without the low rumble of the car, was deafening.  
  
“Uh, well, thanks man.”  
Dean felt Cas’ eyes on him but he was almost too afraid to look at his friend.  
  
“What for Dean?”  
  
Cas’ voice was gentle. It was too much for Dean. He wanted Cas to be angry. He knew how to cope with people being angry with him. Stick him in the middle of a battle and he would come out victorious, but kind and gentle was unknown to him and it made him want to shy away.  
  
He felt that bitterness in his chest swell, threatening to spew unbidden from him. Fighting to tamp it down he shrugged hard, “Letting me crash at yours. I’m pretty damn sure I didn’t deserve it.” There was a hint of venom in his voice but he felt relieved that he had managed to curtail most of his building frustration.  
  
“It’s fi…”  
  
“And, I, uh, I’m sorry for being an ass. I don’t remember much of last night, but, I just want you to know I didn’t mean it if I said or did anything to make you uncomfortable.” He finally looked over at Cas who was staring out of the car, across the parking lot. Hands tight around the steering wheel.  
  
Cas sighed and his shoulders slumped like someone had pulled an invisible plug and he had suddenly deflated. A look of sadness washed over him before he schooled his features into something hard as he turned to look at Dean, “It’s fine Dean. You were drunk. I’m not condoning it, but, it’s fine. Let’s just forget it yeh?”  
  
_You’re an idiot Dean. Can’t even let yourself have a good friendship without fucking it up.  
  
_“Yeh. Ok. Sure Cas.” He felt tired and defeated. The car suddenly felt too small and claustrophobic, he scrambled for the handle and forced the door open, almost stumbling onto the gravel in his haste to get out of the confined space.  
  
“Dean?” Cas’ hand, a solid weight on his shoulder, “Are you sure you’re ok?”  
  
_This isn’t something I can have.  
  
_He shrugged the comfort of Cas’ hand off and gingerly stood up, “I’m fine. It’s fine.”  
  
“Ok. Whatever you say Dean.”  
  
“Cas, I’m sorry man. I’m just hungo…”  
  
“Really Dean. It’s fine. Look let’s just get you inside ok.”  
  
He pretended not to hear the hurt in Cas’ words. But it was there nonetheless. It just wasn’t something he could navigate in that moment, so he closed the car door and walked up to the Roadhouse. A small sound of surprise escaped him when he yanked on the door and it opened, almost toppling him over. Cas’ hand on his back steadying him was gone as quick as it had arrived and the chill he felt from its absence made him shiver.  
  
“JO?? We’re here.” He shouted his voice reverberating around the empty room.  
  
“I’m just gonna,” sparing a glance at Cas he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder at the restrooms, “uh, yeh. I’ll be back in a minute.”  
  
He turned his back on Cas and quickly made his way to the restroom doors, before it swung shut behind him he heard Cas’ quiet reply, “I guess I’ll find Jo then.”  
  
A lot had changed for him recently and with barely a second to himself to take it all in he wasn’t surprised to find he didn’t recognise the person staring back at him from the mirror. He groaned to himself as he splashed lukewarm water over his face.  
  
_Come on Winchester. Pull yourself together. Cas is your best friend. Don’t make shit weird.  
  
_He scrubbed his hands over his face one last time before heading back into the bar.  
  
The room was empty, “Hey guys?”  
  
“Back here Dean.” Jo’s shout wound its way into the bar from Ellen’s office, so one foot after the other he trudged his way through to the back room, the sinking feeling in his stomach growing larger the closer he got.  
  
The door was propped open and Jo was stretched out on the ratty couch that was pushed up against the wall, he didn’t need to look around the rest of the room to know she was the only one there, “Where’s Cas?”  
  
“Already gone,” Jo frowned at him as she pushed herself into a seated position, “said he had some stuff to do. What happened Dean?”  
  
Dean’s body slumped and he crossed the room to sit with Jo when she patted the empty space next to her. Resting his elbows on his knees he held his head in his hands, shaking it slowly from side to side. She reached around him, grabbing hold of his shoulder and pulled him in towards her. He let himself collapse into her side, welcoming the comfort of her embrace.  
  
“I don’t know. I think I fucked up big time Jo. I never meant for this to happen.”  
  
“For what to happen Dean?” her voice was calm and soothing. A balm to his spiralling thoughts.  
  
“I-I don’t,” the words got lodged in his throat, “fuck, I’m a mess. What would my dad think?” He inhaled sharply.  
  
_FUCK. That was, what are you doing Dean? This is stupid. This is really stupid. You can’t take this back if you say it. Nothing will be the same again._  
  
“What would he think about what?”  
  
“I, shit, Jo, what am I gonna, it’s, this ain’t right.”  
  
“Dean. Take a deep breath. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
His voice came out as nothing more than a cracked, hoarse, whisper but the weight of the words couldn’t have been louder, “I think I’m falling for Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It turned into something I didn't expect. Even though there was a little bit of a confession at the end of this I am sorry to say there is still a long way to go before our guys get together.
> 
> Rest assured that even though it may take me a while to get the chapters done, I WILL NOT abandon this story. I am as invested in these two idiots as everybody else is.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Comments and Kudos are always more than welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr - thewolfatmydoor


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